For The Sake Of Demonstration

, | Georgia, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

(This gentleman has just ordered a vanilla cone. My coworker is standing at the window giving it out while I am beside her. He asks an odd question as he is handed his ice cream.)

Customer: “Do you believe in unicorns?”

Coworker: “What?“

Customer: “Doo-dee-doo-dee…”

(He takes the ice cream cone and smashes it onto the top of his head, I’m assuming as to resemble a unicorn horn, and then drives away.)

Me: “Oh, my.”

Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

One Good Takeout Deserves Another

| New York, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

(A few years ago, around noon on Christmas day, several dozen Chinese people walked in to our Kosher deli-style restaurant, apparently in a group. One walked up to the front desk.)

Man: *softly* “Is it okay if we’re here?”

Hostess: “Yes, we serve everyone, but are you sure you’re in the right place?”

Man: “This is [Restaurant], right?”

Hostess: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Man: “Well, we figured since you Jews are all coming to our restaurants tonight, we’d return the favor.”

Hostess: *slightly shocked* “Thanks. Right this way… We’ll seat you!”

(…and they’ve been back every year since!)

Sweet Midlife Crisis

, | Fast Food Restaurant | Food & Drink

(I work at a popular fast food place where cashiers ask for customer’s names so that they can be called when their order is ready. Customers who are members of our loyalty program are called whatever name they registered their card under. A middle aged man approaches.)

Me: *holding back laughter* “Is this the name you want me to call?”

Customer: “Yes, of course!”

(Five minutes pass while his order is being made.)

Coworker: *over the intercom* “Princess Bubblegum, your order is ready!”

Like Explaining Red To The Blind

| Westerville, Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer calls to place an order for delivery. While entering the credit card information for payment, I need the zip code.)

Me: “Can I get the ZIP code to the billing address?”

Caller: “Where on the card is that?”

Me: “The ZIP code. It’s not on the card.”

Customer: “What is that? They always ask that, and it’s not on the card.”

Me: “Um, the ZIP code. It’s…it’s a number the Post Office uses to tell where to deliver mail to.”

(There’s a silence. I can’t tell if he’s thinking or if he’s just has no idea what’s going on.)

Me: “I’ll just put [local ZIP code] and see if it works.”

Customer: “Um, okay, yeah.”

Me: “Ok, it went through. We’ll see you soon.”

Just Turn Left At The Series Of Tubes

, | Hilo, HI, USA | Technology

(I am sweeping the dining room floor when I am waved over by an elderly couple.)

Me: “Hi, anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, we are heading around the island tomorrow and want to know if this rain will have stopped by then.”

Me: “It will probably still be raining here. However, they only get about 8 inches of rain a year on the other side of the island, so chances are it’ll be sunny.”

Customer: “Can you check the weather tomorrow for me?”

Me: “Um, I don’t have a newspaper or anything, but I could ask the manager to turn the radio on. They give the weather at the top of every hour.”

(Note that it is 9:57 PM.)

Customer: “That will take too long. How about internets?”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have Wi-Fi here, but [coffee shop] does.”

Customer: *irate* “No! Where are the Internets!?”

Me: “Like an internet cafe? The only here is downtown, but it’s already closed.”

Customer: “No! The INTERNETS!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “Fine!” *storms off with his wife in tow*

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