Ketchup Me Right Or Don’t Ketchup Me At All

, | Windsor, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

(I am a manager at a popular fast food restaurant and currently serving customers in the drive thru. I have a headset on to hear what customers are saying at the speaker.)

Coworker: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I just came through here and got small fries, and I got NO ketchup! I want new fries WITH ketchup!”

Coworker: “Okay, sorry about that ma’am. Just pull to the second window and our manager will help you.”
(I prepare the new fries and put them in a bag, and make sure to grab a handful of ketchup packets to accompany them as she comes up to my window.)

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am! Here you are. The fries just came up!”

Customer: “How can you give someone fries with no ketchup!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am! Have a good day!”

(Thinking that would be the end of ketchupgate, I resume my other regular duties. Ten minutes later, the same woman, now irate, storms into the lobby and up to the counter with her food bag in hand.)

Me: “Hi there, ma’am, is there anything I can help you with?”

(She overturns her empty bag and several unopened ketchup packets spill onto the counter.)

Customer: “You gave me nine ketchup packets for one small fries?!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You gave me NINE KETCHUP PACKETS for ONE small fries! Are you trying to be smart?!”

Me: “Ma’am, didn’t you return to the drive thru for the sole reason of getting ketchup?”

Customer: “But NINE ketchup packets?!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I suppose I just wasn’t aware of how much ketchup you wanted.”

Customer: “I demand to speak with your manager!”

(I look at my uniform and then the surrounding crew members’ uniforms. My uniform is quite clearly different from all others.)

Me: “I am the only manager on duty, ma’am.”

Customer: “YOU’RE the manager?!”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And you gave me NINE packets of ketchup?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well what do you have to say for yourself?”

Me: “I suppose I am pleased to know that I was able to go above and beyond your expectations for ketchup sustenance.”

Customer: *storms off muttering incoherently*

Rare, Medium, And Free

| Covington, LA, USA | Food & Drink

(This occurs on a very slow day. I’m the only person working the cafeteria and register.)

Customer: “I finally found a decent meal down here!”

(She proceeds to show me her tray. It consists of various food items and drinks, one if which is a burnt pork chop. I ring her up anyway, as the customers serve themselves.)

Customer: *looking at the receipt* “You charged me $1.90 for that pork chop?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s the price of the pork chops.”

Customer: “But it’s burnt.”

Me: “If you don’t want that one, you can pick another.”

Customer: “No, I wanted it burnt. I like my pork chops cooked really well. Can’t you give it to me for free?”

Me: “You want a free pork chop because it’s burnt, but you wanted it burnt?”

Customer: “I told you, I like my pork chops burnt!”

Me: “Yeah, I can’t not charge you for the food if you’re still going to eat it.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This cafeteria is just trying to rip us all off!”

You Can’t Have Their Cake And Eat It Too

| USA | Food & Drink

(A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)

Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)

Customer: “You missed the cake.”

Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”

Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”

Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”

Customer: “So, can I have one too?”

Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”

Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”

Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

(This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)

Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

Rude As Sin In Sin City

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Wow, you’re ugly as sin.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This is Vegas! You girls are supposed to be hot. I can’t believe they’d hire an ugly girl in Vegas!”

Me: “Would you like me to get you a more attractive waitress?”

Customer: “Yes, definitely!”

An Empty Compliment Deserves An Empty Stomach

| Brisbane, Australia | Food & Drink

(I am working one day I am serving a man in his late 60’s.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, hello! I like your hair!”

Me: *taken aback* “Oh, thank you!”

Customer: *beaming* “Just kidding!”

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