Service With A Smile

, | Peoria, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive thru and I’m in a good mood.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Your total comes to $3.47 and a smile!”

(I smile at her.)

Customer: “Excuse me? How rude! How dare you?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t want to smile, and you can’t make me. Just give me my d*** food.”

(The customer leaves.)

Manager: “What was her problem?”

Me: “I ‘charged’ her a smile.”

Manager: “I hate drive thru.”

Karkat, Thor, And Loki Walk Into A Bar…

, | Manchester, England, UK | Bigotry, Geeks Rule, Top, Wild & Unruly

(A con is going on nearby, and the fast food joint is full of people in cosplay. A rather attractive woman—dressed as a cheerleader with a pink chainsaw—leaves the building with her friends. They are whistled at by two rowdy customers entering.)

Customer #1: “Hey dude, check out all these freaks in here!”

Customer #2: “Oh, God! They’re everywhere! F****** freaks.”

Customer #1: *to a male cosplayer in front of him* “Oi mate, what the f*** are you supposed to be?”

Male Cosplayer #1: “M-me? I’m ‘Karkat’ from Homestuck.”

Customer #1: “Well, you look like a joke. What the f*** are those on your head?”

(The customer flicks the orange horns clipped to the cosplayer’s hair.)

Male Cosplayer #1: “Please don’t do that; I made these myself and I don’t want them to break.”

Customer #2: “You hear that? The little freak made his own horns! Ah, I guess it’s not all bad though; did you see that chick before with the massive rack?”

Customer #1: “I know, you don’t see hot cheerleaders everyday. She’s totally going to get it off me later.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, we’ll find her and give it to her good. I’m going to squeeze those t*** of her so hard.”

Male Cosplayer #1: “Can you please stop?! It’s really degrading to talk about women like that.”

(The whole restaurant goes quiet, and they turn to the rowdy customers.)

Customer #1: “If the slag didn’t want it, should wouldn’t have them hanging out.”

Male Cosplayer #1: “She was in costume! Besides, what does it matter how she was dressed? Clothing isn’t an invitation.”

Customer #2: “Do you want to take this outside?”

(Just then, another male customer in the corner, who also happens to be a cosplayer, speaks up.)

Male Cosplayer #2: “If you fight him, you have to fight me first!”

Customer #2: “Who said that?”

(Male Cosplayer #2 stands up to reveal he is well over 6 ft tall, and very muscular, but in costume too.)

Male Cosplayer #2: “I am Thor, Son of Odin, God of Thunder, who commands the Lightning and the Storm!”

(At that moment, a third cosplayer stands up, revealing he too is very tall and muscular.)

Male Cosplayer #3: “And I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose… to defend women from sexist pigs like you, and defend people’s right to cosplay!”

(The two rowdy customers quickly remove themselves from the restaurant, while Karkat, Thor and Loki receive a round of applause.)

Related:
Link, Nyu And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar…

Poo Poo Your Oui Oui

| Canada | Bigotry, Language & Words

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]; will it just be the two of you dining today?”

Woman: *in a thick French accent* “Yes, two.”

(The female customer then turns to her male companion and begins speaking very angrily in French.)

Woman: “This is just terrible; no one here speaks French. This is discrimination; we should be able to get service in our own language.”

Me: *speaking French* “I apologize. I didn’t realize that the two of you spoke French. I’d be more than happy to help you today!”

Woman: *speaking English* “Ugh! Your French is just awful! Don’t even bother; I’m going to speak English. I don’t want to have to listen to your terrible accent for our entire meal.”