Jessica Simpson Isn’t The Only One

| Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m on the phone taking an order for pick-up.)

Customer: “I’d like 50 wings please.”

Me: “Okay, would you like those buffalo?”

Customer: “No, chicken.”

Water You, Stupid, Part 6

| Woburn, MA, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Can I have a glass of water?”

Me: “Sure.” *gets him cup of water*

Customer: “Are we in Woburn?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, so is this, uh, Woburn water?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

Customer: “Didn’t this stuff kill people?”

Me: “That was years ago.”

Customer: “No, I think it was very recent.”

Me: “No, the movie was just released very recently. The water’s fine now.”

Customer: “I’d rather not take my chances. Can I get a bottle of water instead with a cup of ice?”

Me: “You know where ice comes from, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Never mind. Enjoy.” *hands them bottle of water and ice made from Woburn water*

Related:
Water You, Stupid, Part 5
Water You, Stupid, Part 4
Water You, Stupid, Part 3
Water You, Stupid, Part 2
Water You, Stupid

For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2

| USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a drive-in which is fairly popular in some parts of the country. Our kids’ meals are called Wacky Packs. The following takes place as I’m bringing the food out to a car.)

Me: “And here’s your wacky pack.”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “Your wacky pack. Sorry, that’s what we call our kids’ meals.”

Customer: “A wocky pack?”

Me: “A wacky pack.”

Customer: “Oh! A wacky pack!”

(I continue to hand her the food.)

Me: “And here’s your apple juice. Sorry, we ran out of juice boxes so we poured some into a cup for you.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I love juice boxes; they’re my favorite!”

Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I like them too. They’re fun.”

Customer: “To go with my wacky pack!” *giggle*

Related:
For Some, Childhood Never Ends

Ruining It For Everyone

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]! How many?”

Customer: “Two. And we’re vegetarian.”

Me: “You’re in luck, ma’am, we have some excellent vegetarian dishes.”

(I seat the customers and head back to my spot. A few minutes later, the woman storms up to me.)

Customer: ”I said I was vegetarian!”

Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: ”The people in the booth next to me are eating meat!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re not going to stop selling meat products to other customers just because you won’t eat them.”

Customer: “But I’m vegetarian!”

It’s The Secret Sauce

| Orem, UT, USA | Food & Drink

(I take to-go orders over the phone. This was a call from one of our daily customers.)

Customer: “I was also wondering if you had areola sauce?”

Me: “Um…sorry. What was that?”

Customer: “Areola sauce! Someone’s asking for it.”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

(In the background, someone yells and everyone starts laughing.)

Customer: “Oh God! Is that what I said? Well, s***. That’s definitely not what I want.”

(After nearly ten minutes of laughing and getting nowhere in their order, the phone gets passed around until someone can stop laughing long enough to talk. I gave them some free dessert for making my week.)

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