Dealing With A Very Sour Lemon

| PA, USA | Right | August 25, 2015

(I am a waiter at a very popular Italian restaurant chain. I am serving two middle-aged women. Customer #1 is a very frumpy woman, while Customer #2 is much nicer and does not make a single complaint. I start by welcoming them.)

Me: “Good evening, ladies, welcome to [Restaurant]! Would you like to try our—”

Customer #1: “Iced tea, unsweetened, with lemon.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but we have just run out of lemon. I could substitute it with a lime, if you’d like.”

Customer #1: “I can’t drink iced tea without the lemon! What kind of restaurant runs out of lemon?! Fine, I’ll have a diet soda with lemon, then.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we’re out of lemon. We have iced tea and diet soda, but we’re out of lemon.”

Customer: “I CAN’T DRINK DIET SODA WITHOUT LEMON! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR RUNNING OUT OF LEMONS!” *she calms down a bit* “Okay, I’ll have a water with lemon.”

(I see her friend mouth “Sorry!” at me. Later on, after the drink fiasco and their meals have been served, I come to check back on them.)

Me: “How are your meals so far, ladies?”

Customer #1: “My food is great, but the tines on my fork are too far apart, and I cannot twirl my pasta properly!”

Me: “Oh, I am very sorry, but these are the only forks we have.” *turning my attention towards Customer #2, as I’ve had enough of Customer #1’s complaints* “How is your food, ma’am?”

Customer #2: “Well, my dinner is excellent, young man. You are an outstanding server!”

(After they paid the check, which they had requested to be separate, I find that Customer #1 has left me a very disappointing tip, but Customer #2 has left me more than enough to make up for dealing with her friend’s outrageous behavior!)

Not Always Right: The Comic – Crashed Diet

| NY, USA | Right | August 25, 2015

Read the full story here.

Tabling That Argument

| ON, Canada | Related | August 25, 2015

(Four of us go to a restaurant. My sister goes to find a seat while we get food. We find her at a weird spot… in the middle of everything with other tables attached.)

Me: “Why did you pick this spot? There are other empty seats everywhere else.”

Sister: “I looked at it; it looked at me… We fell in love. That’s why we are here.”

Me: “…How does a table look at you?”

Sister: “I never said it looked at me. I said, ‘I looked at it; it looked at…’ Damn it.”

Paying The Price Of Corniness

| IA, USA | Romantic | August 24, 2015

(My boyfriend and I are out to eat. I happen to look down at my drink and the foam has randomly made a shape of an arrow.)

Me: “Hey, look! There’s an arrow in my drink.”

Boyfriend: “And it’s pointing at me; it must be a sign.”

Me: “Of what? Who’s going to pay?”

Boyfriend: “…Ouch.”

How To Cheese Off The Cashier

, | Los Angeles, USA | Working | August 20, 2015

(The restaurant normally sells hamburgers for $.89, but they are having a special where two cheeseburgers for $1.00. I don’t eat cheese.)

Me: “I’d like two cheeseburgers, no cheese, please.”

Employee: “So, two hamburgers?”

Me: “Yes, but since cheeseburgers are cheaper now, I want the cheeseburger special. So, cheeseburgers, but no cheese.”

Employee: “We can’t do that.”

Me: “Why not?”

Employee: “It’s not a cheeseburger.”

Me: “Can I get it without pickle?”

Employee: “Sure, how ever you want it.”

Me: “Without ketchup?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “No mustard?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “But not without cheese?”

Employee: “No, then it’s not a cheeseburger.”

Me: “But you realize, you have to pay for cheese, so you make more money this way.”

Employee: “But we can’t do that.”

Me: “Can I get the cheese on the side?”

Employee: “Sure.”

(The employee then took my order, and gave me two hamburgers with a French fry package with two slices of cheese in it. I took the cheese and tossed it in the trash can and walked out.)

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