Mentally Closed Down

| Goodyear, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s a little after 10:00 PM and two customers walk in.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]! Two tonight?”

Customer: “Are you about to close?”

Me: “No, we are open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Oh…” *to his friend* “Let’s go then, dude.”

Some Are Born Deaf To Manners

| Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(We employ a deaf, hard-working lady at our restaurant.)

Customer: *agitated* “Excuse me, are you the manager?”

Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “That employee over there ignored me. I asked for help, even yelled, and she just walked right by. She is rude!”

Me: “Sir, she is deaf.”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter! Your employees must answer when I call!”

Me: “Sir, she is deaf. She can’t hear you at all. Even if you got her attention, she wouldn’t respond unless you use sign language or let her read your lips.”

Customer: “Well, then why does she work here?”

Me: “Because she is a hard worker and does her job well.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t hire rude people!”

Me: *shaking my head*

On The Need For Meant-al Telepathy

| Australia | Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, I would like a vanilla chai latte without the chai.”

Me: “So, you want a vanilla latte?”

Customer: “No, I want a vanilla chai latte without the chai! As a professional, aren’t you meant to know what I mean?”

Me: “Of course. Ma’am, one vanilla chai latte without chai coming right up.”

(I make her a vanilla latte and she takes a sip.)

Me: “Is that what you wanted, ma’am?”

Customer: “I don’t know! You’re meant to tell me!”

Nanny Nanny Boo Boo, The Golden Years

| Maine, USA | Bizarre

(An older gentleman is standing at the register looking directly at me.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Older customer: “Do I look like I need help? No! Oh, boo hoo, I’m a poor little boy who needs help!” *blows his tongue at me and leaves*

Me: “What just happened to me?”

Hashpocalypse Now

, | Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m working the breakfast shift when a man comes in with his children who look about 5 or 6. He orders a large amount of food.)

Customer: “And can I get…four hash browns with that?”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I type in the total and show it to him.)

Customer: “What? $4.80? Are you kidding?”

Me: “That’s how much it is.”

Customer: “No way! That’s too expensive! I can’t justify that. Get rid of them!”

(I cancel the last item while the customer continues ranting.)

Customer: “It’s also the fact that they’re just hot oil! I can’t give my kids that poison!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This whole place is poison! All of it! You know the cancer charities you guys set up? Your food is causing the cancer that those kids are dying from!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You’re poisoning people! Poisoning my kids! Working here, you kill more people a year than smoking!”

Me: “Really?”

Customer: *mimicking me* “‘Really?’ Why don’t you do some bloody research before you start a job, girl?!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “This whole place is evil! You should have a freaking skull and crossbones out the front! I can’t justify buying hash browns and poisoning my kids!” *leaves with his kids and his food, minus the evil hash browns*

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