Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

| Derby, KS, USA | Uncategorized

(Our store has a drive thru pick up window. There is no speaker box. We notice a minivan parked about 10 feet from the window, just sitting there.)

Manager: “Go act like you’re sweeping the sidewalk. While you’re out there, try and get a good look as to what this van is up to.”

(I go outside and report back.)

Manager: “Well, what is she doing?”

Me: “Talking to our wall, saying that we need to answer her.”

(My manager sticks his head out of the window, and tells her to pull forward. She pulls up to the window.)

Me: “How may I hel-”

Customer: *shouting* “I just spent 10 minutes at your speaker box and no one answered me! This is an outrage! I demand to be given the corporate phone number!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have a speaker box. I can take your order, if you’d like.”

Customer: *still shouting* “Then what is that on your wall?”

Me: “Well, that’s a sign saying what we have on special.”

Customer: “So, it’s not a speaker box?”

Me: “No, it’s a nylon poster.”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll take a pepperoni pizza.”

Related:
Not Thinking Inside The Box, Part 2
Not Thinking Inside The Box
Thinking Outside The Box
Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
Not Thinking Outside The Box

H2-No

| MI, USA | Uncategorized

(A couple and their son of about 7 or 8 years old sit down at a table. I start pouring each of them some water.)

Boy: “What’s that stuff?”

Mother: “Water, sweetie.”

(The boy looks at his glass curiously. He sticks his finger in it for a second, then sinks back into his seat.)

Boy: “Hmm…”

Putting The Men On The Menu

| St. George, UT, USA | Uncategorized

(Some customers come up to my till to pay for their meals.)

Me: “How was your meal today, sir?”

Customer: “It was good and I was delicious.”

Salad Of The Dead

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

(Two customers are having a conversation as they order.)

Customer #1: “I have a whole bunch of studying for school this weekend. I have a test in one class, and I have to memorize the Greek alphabet for my sorority.”

Customer #2: “Wait, you have to memorize the Greek alphabet? That’s, like, so stupid. What use are you going to have memorizing the alphabet to a dead language? Or wait, is it dead? Or do some people still speak it?

Customer #1: “No, it’s dead. Or, maybe they still speak it in Greece. I think.”

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Greek salad!”

Killing Two With One Stone

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

(I am making calls to confirm reservations.)

Me: “Hello, may I please speak to [name]?”

Customer: “I’m sorry, he’s not available.”

Me: “Oh, well this is [name] calling from [restaurant]. I am calling to confirm his reservation for 6 pm tomorrow night for two people. Do you know if he will still be needing the reservation?”

Customer: “I don’t think so, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. Will you let him know he can call to reschedule for another time? We still have a few openings for the next night.”

Customer: “That won’t be necessary. He died last night and we’re burying him tomorrow. Thank you for checking, though.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. We’re so sorry for your loss, and we’ll go ahead and take care of that cancellation for you.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! Wait, do you guys cater funerals?”