A Birthday Surprise

| Provo, UT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am serving a young couple, and it is the woman’s 29th birthday. One of our hosts, a large Polynesian man, loves to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to people by himself.)

Me: “Would you like a group of us to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you, or do you want that guy to sing to you?”

Customer: “It’s okay; I’d rather not have anyone sing to me. By the way, has that table paid for their meal yet?”

(The customer points at a table nearby, where a couple with their two young children are seated.)

Me: “No, they haven’t.”

Customer: “Okay, give this to them. Don’t tell them it’s from me.”

(The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “Wow, really? That’s really generous of you, and on your birthday!”

Woman: “Yeah, I like to do something nice for someone on my birthday as a way to give back to the universe for all the crap I’ve done.”

(We ended up giving her and her boyfriend free dessert. Her incredible generosity inspired me to try to do something like that on my birthday from now on. Sometimes humans are okay!)

Two Wings Don’t Make Them Right

, | Omaha, NE, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working at a restaurant that sells fried chicken. A customer approaches me after she has eaten her entire meal. The tray she’s carrying only has picked-clean chicken bones on it.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I ordered the white meat chicken meal, but got dark meat pieces instead. You need to give me a new meal.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, but the white meat chicken meal comes with a breast and wing, which is what you received.”

Customer: “No, you gave me a leg and a thigh. I paid extra for the white meat meal and I demand that you give me a replacement!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry for the confusion, but as you can see by the chicken bones on your tray, this piece was a breast piece. See the rib bones here, and this piece was a wing.”

Customer: “Get me your manager NOW!”

(My manager has heard the interchange and cordially comes over.)

Manager: “I’m terribly sorry for the mistake, ma’am; here’s a replacement meal for you.”

(My manager hands her another white meat meal.)

Customer: “It’s about time!”

(After the customer leaves, having left the tray with the chicken bones on it, I turn to my manager.)

Me: “Why did she get a free replacement meal when it’s obvious that she got and completely ate what she ordered?”

Manager: *smiling sadly* “The customer always thinks they’re right, even when they’re wrong. And especially when all they want is to throw a fit for free food. I’ve learned it’s easier to just give them what they want than to try to convince them to be decent people.”

Me: “The customer is always right?”

Manager: “Even when they’re wrong!”

Totally Trashed The Place

, | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I am busy cleaning the dining area. I have just removed a full trash bin from its holder, leaving the door to said holder wide open. This is to signal that there is no trash can there, so customers should try another one. As I start carrying the bin to the back, I hear the sound of a tray, disposable plates, and various sauces hitting the floor. I turn around to see a customer has tossed their trash into the empty space where the bin used to be, making a mess on the floor. The customer immediately looks at me like a kid that was caught stealing cookies.)

Customer: “The nerve of some people, making such messes like this! Shame on whoever did this!”

(The customer quickly leaves. Another customer who has seen the exchange starts laughing.)

Other Customer: “Kinda makes you lose your faith in humanity, doesn’t it?”

Me: *sighs* “Welcome to customer service, where everything is your fault and the reason doesn’t matter.”