To Be, Or Not To Jollibee

, | Quezon City, Philippines | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m in line at a very well-known chicken fast food place. It’s lunch hour, so the place is fairly packed.)

Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Do I want a one-piece or two-piece meal?”

Cashier: “Well, people usually order the two-piece at this time, since it’s supposed to hold them for a few more hours.”

Customer: “Okay, a two-piece meal then.”

Cashier: “Would you like that ‘Original Recipe’ or ‘Hot and Crispy?'”

Customer: “I don’t know. What’s the difference?”

Cashier: “Um, the ‘Original Recipe’ tends to have softer skin and a tangy flavor, while the ‘Hot and Crispy’ is spicy and crunchy.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m not sure which one of those I want. The ‘Hot and Crispy’ might be too spicy for me.”

Cashier: “Don’t worry, our ‘Hot and Crispy’ isn’t really that spicy. It’s just enough for a kick in the taste buds, no more.”

Customer: “Maybe, but I might want extra mashed potatoes with it.”

Cashier: “If you order the full meal, you get a large side dish with your food.”

Customer: “What if a large is too big? I don’t want to eat all that much.”

Cashier: “Well, ma’am, the containers are behind me, so you can decide for yourself if large is too big.”

Customer: “Hmm… wait, what if I don’t want chicken for lunch?”

Customer Somewhere In The Back: “WELL YOU’RE IN THE WRONG F****** RESTAURANT, AREN’T YOU?! STOP HOLDING UP THE LINE!”

Too Much Gravy For The Brain, Part 2

| Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Could I get the whisky gravy without whisky please?”

Me: “Of course, I’ll ask the chef to make your dish with plain gravy.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want plain gravy! I want the whisky gravy without the whisky!”

Me: “Sir, the whisky gravy without whisky is just plain gravy.”

(This goes on for a minute or two. The customer’s wife turns and whispers to me.)

Customer’s Wife: “Just bring him plain gravy; it’ll take him a while to figure it out.”

Related:
Too Much Gravy For The Brain

She Also Speaks Ironic

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

(I manage a fast food restaurant. I’m currently serving a customer who is from East Asia. She is clearly new to the country, as she is having significant trouble with the transaction, and I’m finding it difficult to communicate. My coworker steps in.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, where are you from?”

Asian Customer: “I am from Korea.”

(Suddenly, the next customer in line speaks up.)

Customer: “Racist! You’re a racist!”

Coworker: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I said you’re a racist! It doesn’t matter where this young lady comes from, she should be welcome in your store. You should feel ashamed!”

(The shouting customer turns to me.)

Customer: “You! Do something about her!”

Me: “I absolutely agree. You see, my coworker here is studying a master’s degree in Asian studies. She was just asking because she could process this transaction in Korean, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese or Indonesian, and didn’t want to look like an idiot by making an assumption about someone she didn’t know.”