Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Top

(I have albinism, so I have very pale skin, white hair, and red irises.)

Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Are…are you a vampire?”

Me: “Well, my dad is half-vampire.” *laughing*

Customer: “Please, don’t bite me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to bite you.”

Customer: “Don’t put any blood in my food either. I don’t want to be a vampire.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to put blood in your food. I’m not a vampire. We serve regular food here.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”

(I go and get my manager, and fill him in on what’s going on.)

Customer, to my manager: “Is your vampire waitress going to bite me?”

Manager: “Only if you don’t tip her well.”

(The woman looks completely horrified, but finally ends up ordering and leaving me a 21% tip.)

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Less Twilight, More Daylight

Doesn’t Have The Drive To Succeed

, | Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

Me: “Just drive around to the next window and your order will be ready there.”

Customer: *looks worried* “Where is the next window?”

Me: “Just around the corner.”

Customer: “But I can’t see it.”

Me: “That’s because it’s around the corner. Drive around the corner and you will.”

Customer: “I hope I don’t get lost!”

Receipt Cheat

, | TX, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I thought that your tacos were 79 cents today.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, they are. If you’ll look at the bottom of your receipt, it’ll show you that the price was discounted.”

Customer: “But it says $1.09 here, not 70 cents. You did this wrong.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you’ll notice the bottom of the receipt, it has a negative amount. That means that much was taken off of the price of tacos.”

(The customer looks lower on the receipt and becomes indignant.)

Customer: “What? I don’t owe you 90 cents!”

Me: “No, ma’am, you don’t. That just says that’s how much was taken off the tacos to make them 79 cents.”

Customer: “But you charged me $1.09. It clearly says that your tacos today are 79 cents.”

Me: “Ma’am, can I see your receipt?”

(I take the receipt, and use a pen to mark out the price and put in $0.79 on it.)

Customer: “Oh! That looks better. Thanks so much.”

(She happily takes her food and leaves.)

Not The Most Well-Red Of Customers

| FL, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m taking a to-go order over the phone. The customer is ordering a couple of well done steaks.)

Customer: “Okay. On those steaks, I want them to be cut through all the way to the bone on both sides. I want to make sure that they are cooked all the way through. There can’t be any pink.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Make sure they do that. They didn’t do that last time.”

Me: “Okay, I will tell them.”

Customer: “The reason I need them cut like that is to make sure they’re cooked all the way through. My doctor told me not to eat red meat.”

Taco Bill

| Tuscaloosa, AL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I pay for my meal in guacamole?”

Me: “I–excuse me?”

Customer: “My wife makes a mean guacamole.”