Deference To The Difference

, | Plano, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working drive thru.)

Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

Hoping They Were Born Yesterday

| Houston, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a bakery franchise that specializes in bundt cakes. On loyalty customers’ birthdays, they have the opportunity to come into the store and get a free mini cake. The following exchange happens the week before Halloween over the phone.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Franchise Name]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I was just calling about the birthday bundtlet? I didn’t get one.”

Me: “Oh, geez, sorry about that. When did you come in?”

Caller: “I didn’t. I never got the email with the coupon on it.”

Me: “Okay. When did you sign up for the loyalty program?”

Caller: “Um, it was for my cousin’s birthday, so it was a while ago, and…”

(The customer proceeds to ramble on for a minute or so, making me suspicious that she signed up after her birthday.)

Me: “Okay, miss. If you come in with your ID, to prove that your birthday was within a week of today, I’ll check to make sure you’re on the loyalty program and get you that cake.”

Caller: “Oh, my birthday was in August. But my husband’s birthday is in a week, so I’ll just get a bundtlet for then.”

Me: “No, that won’t work. I’m sorry.”

Caller: “God, I f****** hate this store. You never work with your customers!”

This Customer Is Not From Concentrate

, | UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have three flavours of slushy in our slushy machine: raspberry, cherry and orange. Raspberry is blue, cherry is pink and orange is obviously orange. Customers usually refer to the slushy they want by the colors.)

Customer: “What flavour is the orange slushy?”

Me: “Orange flavoured.”

Customer: “I know what the color is, I want to know the FLAVOUR.”

Me: “It’s orange flavoured, ma’am, just like the fruit.”

(The customer suddenly starts screaming at me.)

Woman: “WHAT IS THE FLAVOUR! I CAN SEE THE COLOR OF THE D*** THING! WHAT FLAVOUR IS IT?!”

(The customer’s daughter chimes in.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Mum! It’s like orange juice! Chill out!”

Woman: “Orange juice? Jeez, why couldn’t she just tell me that?! Two of those, please!”

(The customer is perfectly pleasant with me for the rest of the transaction, and wanders off with her slushy happily!)