Intelligence Doesn’t Quite Measure Up

| Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

(Two coworkers and I are sitting around when a woman who appears to be approaching 60 years of age walks in. My newer coworker takes her order.)

Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi…I was wondering, how long is a footlong?”

(We all think she’s joking.)

Coworker: *holds hands up about a foot apart*

Customer: *still confused* “Hmm…okay…uh, can I see one?”

A Bad Run For Their Money

| Minnesota, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Top, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

(My coworker is serving a group of five teenaged guys. All are very loud, obnoxious, and annoying. They don’t order a lot of food, and finally get up to leave. I am putting in an order then this happens…)

Coworker: *to me* “THEY ARE RUNNING! THEY ARE RUNNING!”

Me: “Did you get the license plate number?!”

Coworker: “Yeah, right after the last guy paid, I noticed there was still one seat open with just a short stack of pancakes. I asked the guy’s friend if his friend was coming back to pay. He turned beet red, said “Yeah,” and that he would go get him. The car already was backed up and waiting when he walked out the door so I went to get the plate numbers quick.”

Me: “Okay, give me the numbers. I’ll call it in.”

(I call the police and give them the license plate and description of the car. About five minutes later, an officer shows up and gets a description of the guy who walked out on his bill. He says they may have the kids, and he will get the money for us. Ten minutes later, the officer shows up again.)

Officer: “Here is the money for the bill. His friends had to pay for it so he wouldn’t get a ticket.”

Me: “I was hoping you would have brought him up here to face his crime.”

Officer: “Normally, that is what I would do. However, when we pulled them over for not paying the bill, we noticed the smell of alcohol. They are currently getting minors for underage drinking.”

(In Minnesota, the fine for underaged drinking is $200. In the end, four of them were under age and drinking and got tickets for it. The bill he walked out on was only $4.55!)

Come Clean With Your True Intentions

| Bella Vista, AR, USA | Uncategorized

(I am in the back doing dishes after the breakfast rush.)

Manager: “Hey, [my name], a customer says that the men’s restroom is really dirty. Could you go clean it up?”

(I go to the restroom to take a look. My manager comes with me. We quickly agree that the bathroom is not in any way dirty.)

Manager: “Just sweep up a little and call it good.”

(I leave to get the broom. While getting it, a customer comes up to me. At this point, I am not aware this customer is the one that complained to my manager.)

Customer: “Is it okay in there?”

(I assume he means is it okay to go in, and tell him yes. The customer goes in and comes right back out straight up to me.)

Customer: “Bull****!”

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “That bathroom ain’t clean! I want to talk to your corporate office!”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “This store is unacceptably dirty, and the workers are unfriendly!”

Me: “I’m sorry—”

Customer: “By the way, can I get a job here?”

Option Overload, Part 2

, | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “I would like a number eight. That comes with a fruit punch, right?”

Me: “It comes with a large drink of your choice.”

Customer: “The sign shows fruit punch.”

Me: “Yes, but you can get what you want.”

Customer: “But the sign shows fruit punch!”

Related:
Option Overload

Just Roll With It

| Arizona, USA | Food & Drink

(I wait tables at a sushi place. I’m currently serving two male customers.)

Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Look at her eyes. Just look at them!”

Customer #2: *to me* “Can I get a lunch combo?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Did you not f***ing hear me? Look at her eyes!”

Customer #2: *to customer #1* “I did. They’re beautiful!”

Customer #1: *to me* “Can I have a lunch combo? Also, I love you!”

Page 180/304First...178179180181182...Last