You Got Their Card

, | Auburn, AL, USA | Working | July 8, 2015

(This restaurant chain recently has come out with a taco that has a seasoning from a famous line of chips. I decide to try something since they have a habit of accommodating requests.)

Me: “Hi! I’d like to get the [Taco in soft shell separated by cheese], but can I use the [New Taco] instead of the regular?”

Cashier: “Sure! It’s just $0.30 more.”

(I happily pay for the difference. When I pick up my food, and take off the wrapper, I nearly bite in, and then look at it.)

Me: “I don’t… What is this?”

Friend: “What is it?”

Boyfriend: “Did they leave the cardboard stand on the taco!?”

Me: “I, uh… I guess so. Let me see what I can do.”

(I go up to the counter, after peeling away some of the soft taco and cheese. I show it to the cashier who promptly bursts out laughing.)

Cashier: *to the back* “Who left the d*** cardboard on the shell in the [Item I ordered]!?” *to me* “I’m sorry about that, honey. We’ll get a new one right out!”

(I got a new one a few minutes later along with complimentary dessert. Guess someone really wasn’t paying attention after all!)

A Significant Dress-Down

, | Dallas, TX, USA | Working | July 8, 2015

(I am at the soda fountain getting some water.)

Worker: “That’s a really cute dress!”

Me: “Thanks, I got it at [Store].”

Worker: “Are you pregnant?”

Me: “No!?”

Worker: “Oh, that dress just makes you stick out a bit.”

(This particular location now has a new one-star review…)

Getting It All In Español, Part 2

| CA, USA | Right | July 7, 2015

(A group of guys come in speaking Spanish, which I understand and speak fairly well. They shove the one white guy in the group forward to talk to me, the white hostess.)

Guy: *in English* “Hi, uh, can we get a table for eight, please?”

Me: *in English* “Sure thing. I think I have one cleared off, but let me go check for you.”

Guy: *in English* “Yeah, no problem.”

(I go to check the table. It is clear. When I get back, the guys are talking to the bartender in Spanish.)

Guy: *in Spanish* “The girl here was pretty cute, huh, man?”

Bartender: *in Spanish* “Yeah, she’s okay.” *looks at me, says in Spanish with an evil grin:* “Hey, white girl, is the table ready yet?”

Me: *in Spanish* “Yeah, it’s ready. Come on, guys.”

(The whole group blushed bright red. They were very polite to the staff the whole time and left us a great tip!)

Related:
Getting It All In Español

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Dry Goods

| Devon, England, UK | Working | July 6, 2015

(My family are eating a meal at restaurant known for its delicious desserts. Ours were okay, but nothing special.)

Waitress: “Was everything okay with your meal?”

My Dad: “Well, the desserts were a little dry.”

Waitress: “Oh, good!”

(This has since become a family responds to anyone with a little problem.)

Very Light On The Differences

| TX, USA | Working | July 5, 2015

(My dad and I are driving home for twelve hours after a vacation. We are both hungry and decide to stop at what we think is a genuine Mexican taqueria, but ends up being a fast food Tex-Mex chain.)

Cashier:“Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Dad: “Well… what’s the difference between the deluxe burrito and the light burrito?

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “…Yeah, okay, but what’s the difference?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “So are they wrapped up in different types of tortillas or something?”

Cashier: “The deluxe burrito is wrapped up in a soft flour tortilla. The light burrito is in a soft flour tortilla.”

Dad: “So… They’re the exact same thing?”

Cashier: “Oh, no no no no no. They’re totally different,”

Dad: “Okay, so how are they different?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “You just listed them as having the exact same ingredients. Are they different sizes or proportions or something?”

Cashier: “No… They’re the exact same…”

Dad: “So they are the exact same?”

Cashier: “No, they’re completely different. Do you think we’re stupid? If they were the same they wouldn’t be on the menu twice!”

Dad:“So they’re totally different?”

Cashier: “Yes!”

Dad: “Can you please explain to me how they are different?”

Cashier: “Well, the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. The light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad: “You just listed all of the same ingredients twice.”

Cashier: “No. I didn’t. I said the deluxe burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce. Then I said the light burrito has sour cream, lettuce, cheese, beans, beef, and hot sauce.”

Dad:“…:

Cashier: “…”

Dad: “Can I speak to your manager?”

Cashier: “No.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Cashier: “No.”

(We left at this point. The conversation had gone on for more than five minutes. We ended up eating at the place across the street, which was much cleaner and nicer. The staff could also explain the differences between all of the burritos on their menu.)

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