The Engendered Confusion

, | Miami, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I’m in the back taking money and orders when a customer pulls up to my window.)

Customer: “I heard that your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chicken. I heard they’re actually made of rooster.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your chicken sandwiches aren’t made of chickens, but roosters, right?”

Me: “Roosters are chickens, sir.”

Customer: “No, they’re not!”

Me: “Yes, roosters are male chickens and hens are female chickens.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s like that human thing, too…boy and girl! I see…” *drives off without ordering anything*

Burger Budgeting 101

, | USA | Food & Drink

(I’m eating a hamburger. I see the man next to me carefully picking a slab of cheese out of his burger, wrapping it in a paper napkin, and eating the rest of the burger. It puzzles me, so I ask him about it.)

Me: *point at napkin* “Excuse me, but why did you do that?”

Man: “Oh, every time I eat a burger, I set one ingredient aside. At the end of the week, I have a free burger!”

Mammary Fallacy

| High Falls, NY, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “What desserts do you have?”

Me: *lists bunch of other desserts* “…and Turtle Cheesecake.”

Customer: “Is that made with turtle’s milk? Because I’ve heard of goat’s milk cheesecake.”

Me: “No, sir, it has caramel, chocolate, and nuts, like the candy ‘turtles’. Turtles don’t produce milk.”

Customer: “Oh…”

Weekend Roundup: Caught Red-Handed

, , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Caught Red-Handed! There’s nothing quite as sheisty as customer trying to pull a fast one—and nothing quite as satisfying as catching one red-handed!

  1. Caught Red-Handed:
    A sneaky customer gets called out by another customer—who just happens to be an employee!
  2. Piercing Observation:
    Underaged customers FAIL, basic biology WIN.
  3. Caught Brown Handed:
    Proof that some trails of evidence are self-evident, salty and sticky!
  4. Tripped Up:
    If customers are gonna cry child abuse, they’d better “step” up their game!
  5. A Squeaky Clean Record:
    An employee takes it easy on a young (and very squeaky) scammer.

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Intelligence Doesn’t Quite Measure Up

| Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

(Two coworkers and I are sitting around when a woman who appears to be approaching 60 years of age walks in. My newer coworker takes her order.)

Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi…I was wondering, how long is a footlong?”

(We all think she’s joking.)

Coworker: *holds hands up about a foot apart*

Customer: *still confused* “Hmm…okay…uh, can I see one?”

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