A Whole New World

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(I’m spending the summer with my grandmother in a small southern town, but I’m from Connecticut.)

Me: “Hello, I’m [name]. I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

Customer: *in a thick southern drawl* “What an unusual accent! Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from New England.”

Customer: “How lovely! I’ve always wanted to go to Europe!”

Being Extra Extra Extra Polite

, | Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I’m working the drive thru.)

Me: “Hi there, please place your order when you’re ready, thanks.”

Customer: “Hi, could I get a [popular burger combo] with extra extra extra mayo, please?”

Me: “Sure, that was [burger] with add mayo?”

Customer: “Can you add more than that?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sure, I’ll add extra extra mayo. That’s [total], drive on up.”

(When the customer gets to the window, I pack up her order, and laugh. They’d written ‘+mayo +mayo +mayo’ all over the burger wrap.)

Me: “Here you go, miss, with extra extra extra mayo.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *opens up the bag, and laughs* “Or, should I say, thank you, thank you, thank you?”

Chip Quip

, | NM, USA | Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

(I’ve recently moved to the USA from England, and have got myself a job in a fast food place. I keep saying chips instead of fries, which causes confusion.)

Me: *to coworker* “Can I get two medium chips to go please?”

Customer: “No, I wanted fries.”

Me: “Oh yeah, my bad. I’m still not used to talking American.”

Customer: “So where you from? Mexico?”

(I have tanned skin, so this is a common question.)

Me: “No mate, I’m British.”

Customer: “Oh, I see. So you’re not used to speaking English?”

Me: “What? Us Brits speak English too; we invented the language.”

Customer: “Oh sweetie, don’t worry! You’ll learn real English in America.”

Me: “Okay.” *I decide to throw in a British colloquialism* “Here’s your order. Have a pukka day!”

Customer: “See, I knew you British didn’t speak English.”