Not The Day Of The Tentacle

| Centennial, CO, USA | Related | April 11, 2015

(I am about 12 years old. My family and I are out at a Chinese restaurant. My dad orders some kind of soup with octopus in it. I decide to try it.)

Me: “It tastes like testicles going down my throat!”

(Most embarrassing moment ever.)

Always Have To Go When You Have To Go

| UK | Right | April 9, 2015

Me: *speaking over screeching fire alarms* “We’re evacuating the building immediately… Let me show you to the fire exit.”

Customer: “Do I have time to use the toilet?”

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

| AB, USA | Right | April 9, 2015

(A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

(Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
Allergic To Common Sense

Eating On The Fry

, | Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Working | April 9, 2015

(I work at a fast food chain. One night, I am on the register when Coworker #1 is sent on break and Coworker #2 has clocked out to go home. Coworker #2 orders some food to take home, and then heads into the bathroom to change, while Coworker #1 hangs around the counter. A customer then comes in.)

Customer: *makes typical order, but also orders a large French fry*

(I ring up their order, and then proceed to bag Coworker #2’s order and place it on the counter.)

Customer: “Hey, are the fries fresh? I don’t want them to be too old.”

(Coworker #1 takes this as a cue to open the bag with Coworker #2’s order, grab some fries out of it, and eat them.)

Coworker #1: “These seem to be fine to me.”

Me: *stares, shocked*

(Needless to say I gave the customer fresh fries, and also changed out the fries for Coworker #2.)

Avoid A Shake With The Snake

| WA, USA | Right | April 8, 2015

(It’s Valentine’s day and my boyfriend and I are at a restaurant. While we are waiting for a table, we go to a pet store next door where we hold a ball python. After we get seated, he gets up to go the bathroom to wash his hands. On his way, he passes a waiter that we know well.)

Waiter: “Hey, man, how’s it going?” *sticks out his hand to shake*

Boyfriend: “Sorry, man, I’d shake but I was just playing with a python.”

(It didn’t the hit him until he was in the bathroom how dirty it sounded.)

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