Who Blew It The Most

| VA, USA | Related | April 15, 2015

(My father just managed to confuse my stepmother and me by talking about hotel breakfast hours while in a diner that serves breakfast. Once we get the confusion cleared up, this exchange occurs.)

Dad: “I blew it.”

(Pause.)

Dad: “I blew it.”

(He literally blows on his menu.)

Dad: “I. Blew. It.”

(I blow at him.)

Me: “I blew you!… No. Forget I said that.”

Sandwiched Between A Manager And A Hard Place

, | OH, USA | Working | April 15, 2015

(My brother frequents the store that I work at because he enjoys visiting me. Due to this, one manager has come to like him so much that she memorizes his order and has done her best to see to it that everyone else knows it as well. This happens when she is on vacation and another manager is on duty.)

Mom: *drives into the drive-thru*

Manager: “Welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Mom: “I would like [Sandwich] and um, a [Sandwich] the way [Brother] likes it.”

Manager: “And what is that?”

(At this point, I am scrambling to go and tell the manager what it is since I am to assist him with taking orders, however, he shoves me aside.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you are the parent. You should know how to make [Brother]’s sandwich!”

Me: *fed up with being ignored* “EXTRA PICKLE, EXTRA ONION, EXTRA KETCHUP! LARGE WITH TWO CUPS OF NACHO CHEESE! AND UNSWEET TEA!”

Manager: *rings this in* “Your total is [amount].”

(When my mom pulls up to the window, my manager proceeds to chew her out because of her order. After she pulls away.)

Manager: “Is that the only reason why your mom comes here only when you’re working, [My Name]? Pathetic!”

Me: “[Manager], that is not the whole case—”

Manager: “—and what is [Brother] now? Didn’t you say he is 18? He should learn to speak up!”

Me: “That isn’t the problem!”

Manager: “Then what is it?”

Me: “[Brother] is autistic. He has problems speaking up! Especially to his parents! And my mom comes in to keep me company!”

Manager: “He should still learn to speak up!”

(The next day, I learned that my coworker who was on the grill reported this to the General Manager. She came to me and told me that my mom could come in and order just like that again, despite what that last manager said. That manager now refuses to serve my family when they come through the drive-thru.)

A Lack Of Doctor WHO

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Related | April 14, 2015

Dad: “This Ebola virus epidemic is ridiculous. It just shows an astounding lack of competence. They should have declared it an emergency five months ago, not one month ago.”

Me: “Who?”

Dad: “Yes, WHO. Exactly.”

(In case anyone is confused, WHO is the abbreviation for the World Health Organisation.)

Mrs. Potato Head

| Lafayette, LA, USA | Friendly | April 13, 2015

(My husband and I are out with a friend. We’re lingering over the remnants of our meals and discussing cartoons, when my husband stands up to use the restroom.)

Friend: “And we never saw [Husband] again.”

Me: “What!? Nooo! He’s my husband!”

Friend: “Not anymore. Those potatoes are your husband now.”

(He gestures at my plate, which I then slowly pull closer to myself.)

Me: “Well, I’m Irish. They’ll be a good husband.”

Muffins Are Sweeter Than Bagels

, | PA, USA | Right | April 13, 2015

(I’m a manager at a fast food restaurant but I’m currently on register covering a break. An older lady, probably in her 60s or 70s, comes in and sets her purse on the counter. Our egg muffin sandwiches come with ham, egg, and cheese.)

Me: “Good morning! What can I get for ya?”

Customer: “Good morning. I need an egg muffin… on a bagel… with bacon.”

(Since some customers like more than one type of meat on their sandwich I’ve gotten similar request before. Wanting to see if this is the case, I try to clarify:)

Me: “Okay, so you’d like a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel? Do you want ham and bacon on the sandwich or do you want to substitute the bacon for ham?”

Customer: *shaking her head* “No, no, no. I need an egg muffin… with bacon… on a bagel.”

Me: “So you want bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel?”

Customer: *smiling sadly at me* “No that’s not what I want. See, this is why I came inside to order. No one can get my order right in the drive-thru.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just confused. If you just tell me what you want on the sandwich I’ll ring it up for you and make sure you get it exactly how you want.”

Customer: “I just want an egg muffin on a bagel with bacon.”

(At this point I turn toward the giant menu board behind me and find the BEC Bagel on the menu I point to it looking back at the customer.)

Me: “This is a bagel with bacon, egg, and cheese can you tell me what about this sandwich you’d like to change and I will modify it for you.”

(Customer looks at the menu for the first time since entering the restaurant, seeing where I’m pointing she looks a little surprised.)

Customer: “Oh… Oh, I see… I thought you had to… Um, I guess I’ll have that.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. Will there be anything else this morning?”

Customer: “Yes, could I also have a coffee with cream and sugar but can I have the packets?”

Me: “Of course! Your total will be [total].”

(As the lady fishes out her money, I turn to pour her coffee and get her cream and sugar packets. When I turn back around her money is sitting on the counter, she has gotten her food, and is putting the bag of food in her purse. I pay her out and give her her change then proceed to hand her her coffee and packets.)

Customer: *gestures at the packets* “Oh, could you put those in for me?”

Me: “So, you want a coffee with cream and sugar on the side but you want me to put the cream and sugar in for you?”

Customer: *looking confused* “No… No. I meant…”

(She begins looking around for something and her eyes come to rest on the food bag still sticking out for her purse. Realizing she wanted me to put the packets in the bag I begin to ask for her to hand me the bag but before I do she scoops up the packets and haphazardly tries to shove them in the food bag some of them falling out into her purse in the process. She then goes to pick up her coffee and leaves, muttering a thanks.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

(I turn to my boss, the store manager, who was behind me the whole time assembling orders.)

Me: “Hey [Boss], could I have an egg muffin with bacon on a bagel?”

Boss: “Sure! And what about some coffee with some cream and sugar on the side but put in?!”

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