This Argument Is Short And Sweet

| Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

Customer: “…touché.”

Enough To Split Your Sides

| WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)

Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”

Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”

Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”

Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”

Waitress: “And which side?”

Father-In-Law: “Both.”

Party Crashed And Burned

, | Fairborn, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(For the past couple of days we’ve had signs on our doors indicating the dining room would be closed for a Christmas party. The night of the party, I come up to the door carrying a dish in a stone pan. The manager opens the door to let me in when a customer runs past me, inside the dining room.)

Me: “What was—”

Manager: “Hold on.” *closes the door behind me* “Now we shouldn’t have customers trying to come in.”

(I set the dish down and go to get my second load from my car. When I get back, a family of customers is seated in a booth next to the food my coworkers and I have brought in.)

Customer: “Hey, you! What is with that food?”

Me: “We’re having a Christmas party.”

Customer: “You are?”

(I look at my coworkers, and then at the decorations and the games we have set up.)

Coworker: “Yes! We closed at nine.”

Customer: “You did?”

Manager: “We have signs up saying that we did.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t see those.”

Manager: “Because you ran past my employee, who was carrying stuff in for it.”

(The customer blushes and helps his family pack up to leave.)