Unfortunate Opening Words

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Right | April 23, 2015

(I am prepping the store for open, and can see [Regular] standing right outside the front door, waiting for nearly 15 minutes.)

Me: *unlocking the door and exactly six am, our open time* “Good morning, [Regular]! I’ve got some coffee already brewed for you.”

Regular: “Boy, you guys sure wait until the laaaast minute to open those doors.”

Me: “Well, we open at six, which it just turned right now.”

Regular: “Yeah, I know. Still. You’ve been here a while already….”

Not Feline This Sub

, | ON, Canada | Right | April 22, 2015

(I work in a popular sandwich shop.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a tuna sub please.”

(I make the sandwich and the customer pays and leaves. Forty minutes later the customer comes back with an oddly mulled sandwich.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to exchange this for a new sub.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Was there something wrong with the tuna?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I brought it home and went to get something done. I came back to the kitchen and my cat was on the table eating it.”

Me: *blinking in shock* “I’m sorry, sir, but we aren’t responsible for your pets eating your food…”


(I can be very sarcastic when annoyed.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t. We can, however, see about getting your cat its own sub card.”

(The customer proceeded to throw the sub, which was filled with cat hair, on the counter and scream at my me, threatening to call corporate on me before storming out. If the cat was rating the sub we’d have gotten two paws up because most of it was gone.)

1 Thumbs

H2-Slow, Part 8

, | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Right | April 21, 2015

(An ‘Iced Cappuccino’ is a popular beverage at a particular fast food chain all across Canada. It’s made with a very sugary syrup and ice.)

Customer #1: “I’d like an iced cappuccino please.”

Me: “Sure thing. Anything else?”

Customer #1: *turns to friend* “Do you want one?”

Customer #2: *looking horrified* “Oh, my goodness, definitely not. I’ll just have a water, please!”

Customer #1: “Oh, I thought you liked those?”

Customer #2: *dead serious, looking appalled* “I will NEVER drink those again, I JUST found out that they have more fat in them then water! Can you believe that!?”

Customer #1: “…Um.”

Customer #2: “Shocking, right? I just found out!” *turns to me* “Can you believe that!?”

Me: “…Um.”

Customer #2: *to me, scolding voice* “You guys should really be advertising that to your customer… Iced cappuccino’s have more fat than water.”

H2Slow, Part 7
H2Slow, Part 6
H2Slow, Part 5

Just Can’t Table This Discussion

| OH, USA | Working | April 21, 2015

(I’m working at a family style restaurant as a server one night when the manager comes up to me looking angry.)

Manager: “Why hasn’t table 32 gotten their drinks?”

Me: “I’m not sure. I think that’s [Coworker]’s table; does she need help?”

Manager: “Oh, I thought it was your table. Sorry.”

(A few minutes later, he comes up to me again, looking frantic.)

Manager: “Table 15 says they haven’t been seen by a server yet! Why haven’t you been taking care of them?”

Me: “Because, that’s not my table. I have the 20s and 35. Not table 15.”

Manager: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Positive.”

(About an hour goes by and we are swamped. Again the same manager comes back into the kitchen screaming for me.)

Manager: “Why haven’t you taken table 54’s food out to them?”

Me: “Because… it’s not my table.”

(Apparently I’m supposed to run the whole restaurant.)

1 Thumbs

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 9

, | USA | Right | April 21, 2015

(I am in high school. I work at a fast food restaurant. Part of the uniform includes a hat or visor. On this day I am taking orders at the front register. I am handing back change to an older male customer who has been normal so far.)

Me: “Okay, sir, here is your change and your order will be ready in a sec.”

(I then go to take the next customer’s order when the older man grabs the brim of my hat and looks me directly in the eyes.)

Older Man: “Oh, I thought you had brown eyes.”

(A coworker then places his food on the tray and the man walks away without another word.)

Next Customer: “I promise I won’t touch you. I just want a burger.”

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6

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