From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 5

| Champaign, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(A man and his four children are in the booth next to my family. I am four years old and am sitting next to my younger brothers. We are all quietly coloring at the table. The children at the next booth are climbing on top of the booth and playing with my father’s hat, throwing food, and running around the entire restaurant.)

Waiter: “Sir, your children are bothering other customers. They need to calm down, or you will have to leave.”

Other Dad: “They’re fine. They’re just running off some energy.”

(The waiter is called away to another table. The kids begin raising another ruckus. They are just getting to an unbearable level when a carrot lands on our table.)

Me: *sets crayon down* “Daddy, may I get up?”

My Dad: “Um, okay…”

(I march to the next table and assume an assertive stance with fists on hips.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. You really need to learn how to control your children.”

(I get back in my seat and resume coloring. The other dad turns bright red. He gathers his kids and hurries out of the restaurant just as their food arrives. Later, my parents ask for the check.)

Waiter: “Actually, sir, even if this meal wasn’t on the house, almost every other customer asked to cover your check for you.”

(20 years later, my mom still calls this her proudest parenting moment. We even got a $50 gift certificate out of it!)

Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
From The Mouth Of Babes

What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 2

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion

(I decide to visit my old work on the off-hours for a quick bite to eat. I am served by a new cashier.)

Cashier: “Okay. That will be $11.89. Press the confirm button to make sure your order is correct.”

(I go to press confirm when this occurs at the same time.)

Cashier: “Do yo—”

Me: “Do you want any sauce with that?”

Cashier: “Uh…”

Me: “Did I just ask you if you wanted sauce?”

Cashier: “Yup. You sound like you’d be fit for this place.”

Me: “I worked the day shift.”

Cashier: “Uh, well. Okay.”

Me: “I need to get out of the food service industry.”

Cashier: “Hey, at least you didn’t scream ‘THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!'”

(A few minutes pass. Another customer goes to order. She proceeds to yell at the cashier seconds after she finished placing her order. Having several years of bad customers under my belt I was pretty sure I could handle this one, even though I didn’t work there anymore.)

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “THIS CASHIER OF YOURS SCREWED UP MY ORDER! I WANT MY FOOD FOR FREE, AS IT’S THE CHRISTIAN THING TO DO!”

(I see that this customer has ordered the food via a self-service order screen. The employee just reads the screen and then hands out the order.)

Me: “Ma’am, I find it hard to believe that this cashier managed to screw up an order that is entirely dependent on the customer’s order screen.”

Customer: “Don’t you dare talk back to me! It isn’t the Christian thing to do! God will ha—”

Me: “Pardon me for a second, but I don’t understand you. While I might not be Christian, you claim talking back to you is not Christian. I’m not sure at what point you manage to assume a role higher than God to be able to dictate what is and isn’t ‘Christian.’ In fact just by doing that you are breaking two of the seven deadly sins! I’m sure that isn’t the CHRISTIAN thing to do.”

Customer: “You’ll burn in Hell for this! I’ll make sure of it!”

Me: “But isn’t that conspiring with the D—”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer proceeds to run out of the building.)

Cashier: “Wow…”

Me: “The sad part is, she is a regular here and has been pulling that for months. Well, you had your weird customer, and your first ‘Not Always Right.’ I guess its time for your first tip.”

Cashier: “This has been a long night…”

(The cashier and I have been best friends ever since. That was her first day working there. Thankfully, she never saw the lady again.)

Related:
What Would Jesus Discount?

Starting A New Year Revolution

, | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is New Year’s Day. The restaurant that I work in closes its dining room at 10 pm because of this. The manager has informed me that she’ll close it sooner if no one arrives. At 8:30 pm, a customer comes into the store, orders, then takes a seat. I go to clean a nearby table, since it is quiet.)

Customer: “Ma’am, what time do you close?”

Me: “We’re closing at 10 tonight. Maybe a bit sooner if it’s quiet enough.”

(The customer gets a shocked look on her face. She starts packing up.)

Me: “Ma’am, what’s wrong?”

Customer: “I don’t want to hold you up! You have to go celebrate the New Year with your family!”

(I convince her to relax and stay, since it is over an hour until we would close. However, since then, the customer comes at nights through the drive-thru, not wanting to hold up the dining room!)