Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2

| Fresno, CA, USA | Food & Drink

(I am working as the host at a family restaurant. It’s particularly busy night, so I am taking down names on the wait list.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Customer: “It’s going to be 6 with 2 kids.”

Me: “So, a total of 6 people?”

Customer: “No, 8!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Okay, a total of 8. I got you down.”

(Their party has to wait for around 30 minutes to be seated. Right after we seat them, the woman comes back up to the front.)

Customer: “Um, excuse me! How do you expect us to fit at this table?!”

Me: “Well, that table can usually hold 8 people. It seats four on one side, and four on the other.”

Customer: “But we have 13 people!”

Me: “Ma’am, when I asked you the total amount of people, you told me 8.”

Customer: “No, I told you 8 adults and 3 children!”

Me: “But that only adds up to 11–”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter! We can’t fit!”

Related:
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

Can’t Spell Without Without With, Part 2

, | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

(This takes place while the customer is ordering at the drive-through speaker.)

Customer: “I want a [popular combo].”

Me: “What kind of drink?”

Customer: “No drink.”

Me: “Is that all?”

Customer: “No, I also want a Dr. Pepper on the side.”

Related:
Can’t Spell Without Without With

No Sudden Gender Changes, Please

, | Washington, USA | Food & Drink

(Another employee and I are working the drive-thru and we both are able to talk to customers at the speaker box.)

Male coworker: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, I’ll take a number two and a number seven.”

(At this point, my coworker has to talk to another customer, so I finish talking to the customer. I am a woman.)

Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

Customer: “Wh-What happened to the MAN I was talking to?”

Me: “I’m sorry… he was helping another customer for a moment. Did you not want to talk to me?”

Customer: “That’s just rude and confusing for the customer!”

Practice What You Preach (Please)

| Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(I’m serving a mother and her two children.)

Me: “Are you ready to order?”

Mother: “Tell the lady what you would like.”

Son: “I’ll have the chicken fingers.”

Mother: “Say please!”

Son: *sheepishly* “Please.”

Mother: “And what would you like?”

Daughter: “A hot dog!”

Mother: “Say please!”

Daughter: “Please.”

Mother: “And I’ll have the fried clams.”

(She never did say “please”.)

Involuntarily Voluntary Or Voluntarily Involuntary

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(This happens to me while I am working as a cashier at a popular fast food place. A big, stereotypical jock teen in a football sweater comes up to my till.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’d like two apple pies, please.”

Me: “Sure, hang on a second.”

(I ring up the order and gives him the pies.)

Customer: “There’s something wrong…”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I s*** my pants.”

Me: *shocked* “Wait, what?”

Customer: “I S*** MY PANTS!” *continues screaming and walks out of the store*