A Whirlwind Romance

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance

(I am talking to a guest who walked out of the dining room and came into the gift shop to look around.)

Me: “If you need anything or have any questions let me know.”

Guest: “Well I do have a question: are you single?”

Me: *hesitant* “Yes… Why?”

Guest: “Well, I have as son who just got a promotion and needs a girlfriend. I was wondering if you would marry him for his money, power, or love?”

Me: “I’d marry someone for love.”

Guest: “Good. I don’t want to introduce him to someone who is just after his money and power.”

Me: “Well, that’s good. Where does he work and what is his new position since he got his promotion?”

Guest: “He’s the head operator of the ’tilt-a-whirl’ at the fair!”

Me: *trying hard not to laugh* “Oh, well then, I’d marry him for his crazy amount of power!”

Has Beef With Their Non Beef Menu

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a fast food restaurant that only sells chicken sandwiches. People often jokingly ask for burgers, so I usually try to joke back with them.)

Customer: “So, I know you guys are a chicken place but can I just get a burger?”

Me: “Haha! Yeah, sure… Now, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “A burger.”

Me: “Sir, we really only have chicken. There is a [Competitor’s store] down the street if you want a burger.”

Customer: “Seriously, though. You don’t have any burgers back there?”

Me: “I promise. It’s all chicken.”

Customer: “Fine. Can I get a fish sandwich then?”

Me: “…”

Accentuating The Problem

, | Paris, France | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(My family is on vacation in Europe with a large tour group, consisting of about 40 people from Canada and the US. My sister and I are trying to order at a Parisian McDonald’s, while a middle-aged Texan woman from the same tour is waiting in the next queue over.)

Me: *in bad French* “Uh, could I have a… McChicken?”

Employee: *in French* “Sorry, what did you want?”

Me: *in French, more clearly* “Um, McChicken.”

Employee: *in French* “Ah! Of course. That’ll be [amount].”

Sister: *to me* “I think you were trying too hard to get the accent right. You sounded ridiculous.”

Me: “I didn’t think it sounded that bad… At least I tried.”

(While waiting for our food, we can’t help but overhear what’s going on in the next queue…)

Texan Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a combo number four–”

Employee: *in French* “Sorry, what?”

(The woman gives the flustered employee a death stare, then speaks loudly and slowly.)

Texan Customer: “COMBO. COOOOOMBO.”

(We left then, so I don’t know if the customer ever got her food. To this day, no one in my family ever says the word ‘combo’ without putting on an exaggerated drawl!)