Driving Through The Line

, | IN, USA | Right | May 26, 2015

(I am working at the drive-thru and our customer traffic is far higher than usual. A vehicle drives up to the pick-up window. It’s a large white fleet van for an HVAC contractor, and the driver is wearing matching overalls. I read his order from the monitor.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount], please.”

Customer: “I haven’t ordered yet.”

Me: “You didn’t order [items]?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you in line?”

Customer: “I cut in line. I want you to take my order now.”

Me: “Sir, that’s not fair to the many vehicles in line behind you. Please get in line and order like everyone else.”

Customer: “I’m f**** here right f**** now, and you’re gonna take my f***** order!”

Me: *pointing at headset* “I can’t take your order unless you use the radio unit by the menu at the start of the line.”

Customer: “I wanna talk to your manager!”

(My manager had been listening in on the other headset, and was already at the window.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This f***** won’t take my order!”

Manager: “I will take and fill your order personally, but only after you personally explain to all the cars in line behind you why they have to wait an extra fifteen minutes because of you.”

(The customer launched into a hysteric stream of profanity and drove away. My manager was already dialing the HVAC contractor’s phone number written on the side of the customer’s van. The HVAC contractor’s boss assured us that a stern reprimand would be in order.)

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In Need Of A Golden Nugget

, | LA, USA | Right | May 25, 2015

(I’m working the drive-thru window when a customer orders two meals, plus two extra 12-nugget boxes. I don’t think anything of it, as this is fairly normal, but then they drive up. There are two large dogs in the back, where the seats are folded down, and the customer and her husband in the front seats.)

Me: “That will be [price].” *sees the dogs* “Oh, I love dogs! Yours are gorgeous! Are they Huskies?”

Customer: “Aw, thank you, honey! Well, one is, and one’s a Malamute.”

(I have quickly processed the transaction as we chat, and I hand her card back, then her drinks, and then the bags.)

Me: “They look really well-behaved, too.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. They were so good at the dog park, we had to come get them a treat. They just love [Restaurant].”

(As she’s saying this, she hands one nugget box to her husband, they both open them as if on cue, and put them in the back where the dogs gobble them down.)

Me: *blinks* “Have a good day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, we will. Bye!”

(They drive off, and my coworker and I look at each other.)

Coworker: “She just spent ten bucks on those dogs… I need that kind of money.”

The Medium Suddenly Felt Very Small

, | Daytona Beach, FL, USA | Right | May 24, 2015

(I am a customer waiting in line at a popular fast food restaurant’s drive thru. I am next to place my order, and behind a large black SUV with a middle-aged blonde soccer mom type in the driver’s seat, another person in the passenger’s seat, and what must be her son in the back seat. She places the order for the son and begins to give her order.)

Mother: “I’d like a #4.”

Cashier: “And what size would you like that?”

Mother: “Medium.”

Cashier: “Okay, and what to drink?”

Mother: “Medium.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, what would you like to drink?”

Mother: “MEDIUM!”

Cashier: “Miss, I’m sorry, I just want to know what you would like your beverage to be today.”

Mother: “MEDI—”

(At this point I have had more than enough, as I detest people who don’t listen when ordering and treat food service employees like they are lesser. I stick my head out the window and shout at the top of my lungs.)

Me: “SHE’S ASKING WHAT YOU WANT TO DRINK, YOU IDIOT!”

(The mother sticks her head out her window as well to glare at me, when she notices my gleaming, freshly shaven bald head, large beard, and scowl barely covered by my sunglasses. She turns back to the speaker and meekly replies…)

Mother: “A Diet Coke, please.”

(After I give my order, actually giving the size and beverage without needed to be prompted, I pull up to pay.)

Cashier: “Oh, my God, thank you. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that!”

Me: “Don’t worry. For a long time I used to work in restaurants. I’ve wanted to do that forever, too!”

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Take Your Hat Off To Their Detective Skills

| UK | Right | May 23, 2015

(A customer has been telling me about all the break-ins recently over Christmas, and how a lot of houses have been robbed in the village.)

Customer: “Yeah, the police told us that a CCTV camera caught some young guy wearing a woolly hat.”

Me: *looks up at customer who is wearing woolly hat*

Customer: *quickly snatches hat off his head* “Oh, my, it’s not me. NOT ME!”

Close(d) To Death

| Newport, KY, USA | Working | May 21, 2015

(I went into work despite having a cold. By the time I’m leaving, I’m feeling my fever come back and my manager gives me some cold medicine.)

Manager: “[My Name], do you work tomorrow?”

Me: “Yeah, I close.”

Manager: “Will you be alive?”

Me: “I hope so. But, if I die, I’ll call and let you know.”

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