Crunchy Convergent Evolution

| Dayton, OH, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: *frantically* “Ma’am? Ma’am! My noodles are extremely dry!”

Me: “Those are not noodles. They are tortilla strips.”

Please Placebo Me

| Ocala, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need some help over here!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “This salt is too salty!”

Me: “But it’s salt, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t care! It’s too salty! You need to bring me a different shaker!”

(I proceed to bring her another shaker, which is no different than the first.)

Customer: “That’s better! Thank you!”

Fresh From The Ocean, Into Your Mouth

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Food & Drink

(I am a waiter in a sushi bar in Iowa.)

Customer: “Do you guys catch your own fish?”

It Blows Hard

| Bismarck, ND, USA | Rude & Risque

(I am working at the counter of a slushie shop in our mall.)

Me: “What’s all the hustle about out there?”

Customer: “Oh, they brought in the coolest thing this morning. It’s a hurricane stimulator!”

Me: “A stimulator?”

Customer: “Yes, it stimulates hurricanes! You have to try it out.”

Me: “I’ll be sure to do that. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “Oh, I will! That hurricane stimulated me to the max!”

Water You, Stupid, Part 5

| California, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like a kid’s bean and cheese burrito.”

Me: “Alright, would you like a fountain drink, juice, or milk?”

Customer: *turns to her child* “Okay, do you want soda or juice?”

Customer’s daughter: “I just want water.”

Customer: “But soda’s better for you!”

Related:
Water You, Stupid, Part 4
Water You, Stupid, Part 3
Water You, Stupid, Part 2
Water You, Stupid