Pot Calling The Kettle Everything

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work in a South American restaurant that tends to get a lot of Asian customers. Since I’m fluent in Mandarin Chinese, Korean, Khmer [Cambodian], and Tagalog [Philippines], I’m often called on to serve customers who don’t speak English. A group of seven customers come in.)

Customer #1: *obviously struggling* “Can… I… has this?”

Me: *taking a guess* *Mandarin* “Would you be more comfortable in Mandarin?”

Customer #2: *Korean* “Stupid Mexicans. Can’t even tell the difference between a Korean and a Chinese man.”

Me: *Korean* “I apologize, ma’am. I guessed based on [Customer #1]’s accent and it seems I was wrong. Can I take your order now?”

Customer #3: *English* “No. I want to talk to your manager.”

(I go back to get the manager, who is Peruvian.)

Manager: “Can I help you?

Customer #3: “Yes. I want to complain about your Mexican waiter’s horribly racist demeanor.”

Manager: “How was he being racist? He’s usually very culturally sensitive.”

Customer #4: “You Mexicans are all the same, never bothering to think that maybe there are more types of Asians than just Chinese people.”

Manager: “First of all, your waiter is from Puerto Rico. I’m from Peru. So maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to complain about being unable to differentiate ethnicity.”

Customer #3: “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

(Sighing, my manager assigns a Chinese-American waiter to them. He can only speak English and ends up having to have customers 3 and 4 translate for the rest of their table in order to get their order. Amazingly, they never complained about the difficulty in ordering.)

This Argument Is Short And Sweet

| Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

Customer: “…touché.”

Enough To Split Your Sides

| WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)

Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”

Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”

Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”

Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”

Waitress: “And which side?”

Father-In-Law: “Both.”