You Can’t Have Their Cake And Eat It Too

| USA | Food & Drink

(A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)

Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)

Customer: “You missed the cake.”

Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”

Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”

Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”

Customer: “So, can I have one too?”

Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”

Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”

Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

(This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)

Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

Rude As Sin In Sin City

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Wow, you’re ugly as sin.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This is Vegas! You girls are supposed to be hot. I can’t believe they’d hire an ugly girl in Vegas!”

Me: “Would you like me to get you a more attractive waitress?”

Customer: “Yes, definitely!”

An Empty Compliment Deserves An Empty Stomach

| Brisbane, Australia | Food & Drink

(I am working one day I am serving a man in his late 60’s.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, hello! I like your hair!”

Me: *taken aback* “Oh, thank you!”

Customer: *beaming* “Just kidding!”

Carpal Cola, Please

, | Parkersburg, WV, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m working the register at a college cafeteria when a girl about my age walks up. She has a cast wrapped around her hand and wrist.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I broke my hand. Can I get a free bottle of pop?”

Me: “Um, I can ask my manager.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I go to the back office and tell my manager what just happened. He’s a really nice guy, but in this situation he just looks at me in disbelief and says no. I go back out to the register.)

Me: “Sorry, my manager says no.”

Customer: “Okay.” *laughs* “It was worth a try!”

The Freudian Drive-thru

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(This is an ice cream shop with a drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, two burgers with bacon.”

Me: “Sir, we actually don’t have burgers…just ice cream.”

(Upon hearing this, the customer looks up to see the burger chain next door.)

Customer: “How did I end up in this line?!”