Tipped In Your Favor

| FL, USA | Right | June 15, 2015

(I’m in a restaurant when a 20-something girl comes up to the waitress taking my order.)

Patron: “Excuse me.”

Waitress: “Is there a problem?”

Patron: “No, I just wanted to forewarn you that my grandmother is going to give you a hard time and probably complain about everything. I know that it’s frustrating dealing with those kinds of customers but she’s old and set in her ways which I know is no excuse, but please just take it with a grain of salt. And here:” *the girl hands the waitress two 20s* “because I know she probably won’t tip very well and you’ll need some incentive not to bludgeon her with a hot poker.”

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A Jerk Response

| IA, USA | Romantic | June 12, 2015

(My girlfriend of a year-and-a-half just got back from vacation a day before, and I refused to see her because I had plans to propose to her the next day. She’s pretty pissed off at me, but I convince her to come out with me under the guise of taking my mother out for Mother’s Day. She walks into the restaurant to see me holding flowers.)

Girlfriend: “Ooooh! They’re so pretty!”

(She takes them from me, and I get down on one knee and pull out the ring.)

Girlfriend: *surprised* “NO!”

(I smile and look back up at her.)

Girlfriend: “I mean, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

(I put the ring on her finger and lean in to kiss her.)

Girlfriend: “Is this the reason you wouldn’t see me yesterday when I got home?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Girlfriend: “What a jerk.”

(Both our whole families were there, and my dad caught it on video camera. We’ve watched it a couple of times, and she still blushes when it comes to her having called me a jerk immediately after proposing!)

Food For Thought-less

, | NSW, Australia | Romantic | June 12, 2015

(My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over three months. We’re on a late-night date at the fast food store where I work. I have ordered our food and am sitting down opposite the cafe area, where my best friend is working. Though it’s half-an hour till closing, a large group of guys walk in. The kitchen gets busy so I help out before returning to my girlfriend. They sit near us and are being loud and rude. They pay no attention to us until I kiss my girlfriend.)

Customer: “Hey, lesbos! Take it somewhere else. We’re trying to f****** eat here!”

(We ignore them, but two of his friends egg him on, with him throwing constant homophobic abuse at us, with two of his mates agreeing.)

Me: “Can you keep it down? We’re trying to eat here.”

Customer: “F***! Go suck a d**k, b****!”

Best Friend: *yelling over the cafe counter* “Hey, leave her and her girlfriend alone or you’re going to have to leave!”

(The three customers abusing us stop suddenly before heading over to the counter, where they proceed to attempt to intimidate and make a complaint with my very short female manager.)

Customer: “They were abusing us! Spreading their lesbian-ness all over us while we’re trying to eat! Kick them out! We’re right!”

Girlfriend: “Hey, d***-heads, the lesbian made your food.”

(The men left angry and shocked, but not before the last man to leave apologies for his friends’ behavior. I later found out he rang up the store as well and apologised to my manager for their rudeness.)

Lay It All Out On A Plate For You

| London, England, UK | Working | June 11, 2015

(I was born and raised in Warsaw but I move to London when I am 22 so I can support my mother after she recently became a widow. I take the first job that’s offered to me, and whilst the pay rate is awesome the hours are sometimes unforgiving. On this particular night, there’s no exception. Almost all night we have been busy, and I end up staying until the very early hours of the next morning, hungry and tired. I decide to stop off at a 24/7 cafe to pick up some food on the way home. I’m eating my food when the waitress walks over. It’s clear that English isn’t her first language.)

Waitress: “I take plate for you, sir?”

Me: *nods as I don’t want to be rude and talk with my mouthful*

Waitress: “…sir? I take, yes?”

(I get the idea that she hasn’t noticed I’m still eating, so I decide to raise a finger, motioning to her that when I finish eating I can speak. However, she pulls a face, grabs the empty plate and walks off without a word. I think nothing of it and finish eating before walking up to the counter to pay. It’s only when I approach the counter I hear this from the same waitress.)

Waitress: *In Polish* “Stupid fat p***k! Why couldn’t he of just said something! There was no need for him to be an a** about it!”

(I am shocked at this point. Not because of her comments about my weight because I’m pretty skinny, but because of how foul mouthed she is. I’m behind two other guests, before I come forward to pay. By amazing coincidence, the same waitress is taking my pay for my food.)

Waitress: *In the nicest English accent* “Did you enjoy everything, sir?”

Me: “Oh, the food was nice, believe me. But there was one really bad thing about my experience.”

Waitress: “Oh yeah? What happened, sir?”

Me: *in Polish* “You. I cannot believe someone with such a bad mouth would dare speak about their patrons like that. There was no need for you to get upset about me not responding verbally to your earlier question, as you could plainly see I was eating, and I didn’t want to spit food all over you. Now, I do believe I need to pay my bill before I leave. And you’re not getting a tip.”

(The waitress went white in the face and processed my bill in record time. As soon as she received my money and completed the sale, she pretty much bolted from the counter!)

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Should Hose Down That Thought

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Romantic | June 8, 2015

(My wife, another couple, and I are eating dinner while watching high school students enter their prom across the street. We see a girl walk across the street carrying her shoes, while wearing pantyhose.)

Friend: “That would ruin the stockings pretty quickly.”

Me: “Maybe she doesn’t care that they get damaged. Maybe they’re one night hose.”

Everyone: “…”

Me: “That didn’t sound too good.”

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