Feeling Entitled To Be Untitled

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(One man, probably in his mid-twenties, is sitting with two similarly-aged attractive women.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ladies and gentle sir. My name is [Name] and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menus?”

Female #1: “I’ll take a Coke.”

Female #2: “Me, too.”

Me: “Okay. Two Cokes, and… for you, sir?”

Guy: “Don’t call me ‘sir’! I’m too young to be a ‘sir.'”

Me: “Yeah, I know how you feel. Can I get you anything to drink though, s- uh, mister?”

Guy: “Don’t call me mister, either! And I’ll have an iced tea.”

Me: “Okay, okay. Sorry. Two cokes and an iced tea, coming right up.”

(I get the drinks quickly and come back to their table.)

Me: “Right, here we go. Two cokes for the lovely young ladies, and an iced tea for… ah, young master.”

Guy: *buries his face in his arms in shame as the women burst out laughing*

It’s Off Season

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”

Closed To All Reason

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

(It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

(I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

(At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

(The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

(Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)