Race And Relations

| Nashville, TN, USA | Right | June 24, 2015

(I’m working as a server in my family’s restaurant. It’s important to note that I’m half-black, but can pass for being a tan white. A group I’m serving flag me down.)

Customer: “Hey, I got a complaint about you.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “My wife and I’ve been finished for ten minutes and those white people over at the other table got their checks and their table cleaned and we still haven’t even gotten ours.”

(I look down at their table, I checked up on them not five minutes ago to ask for the check and they said they weren’t done, and they haven’t eaten much more. Meanwhile the customers they’re talking about had cleaned their plates.)

Customer: “You think we’re gonna pay at all, much less tip, for such a discriminatory business? Forget it. We want to talk to your manager and get your racist a** fired.”

Me: “Sir… I’ll do you one better. Want me to get the owner?”

(The customer grins smugly and nods.)

Me: “Hey, Dad!”

(My dad, who is unmistakably black, came up to the table. Upon seeing him, the customer looked at me and registered that I’m not just really tan, and just kind of sank into his bench while his wife, who had just looked embarrassed at this ordeal, burst out laughing. My dad at least got a good laugh out of it – immediately before he banned the guy from the restaurant for trying to use the race card to snag a free meal.)

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A Rush Of Blood On A First Date

| Stockholm, Sweden | Romantic | June 23, 2015

(I am on a date with a soon-to-be boyfriend. This is one of the first times we have been out, but it still isn’t awkward since we’ve been friends for a while. For some reason, I am admiring the steak knives on the table. They seem unusually big and sharp for a place like this.)

Me: “Wow, these steak knives are really big!”

Him: “Nah, they’re totally normal sized knives!”

Me: “Oh, come on! You could totally kill someone with this knife!”

Him: *facial expression suddenly turns really creepy* “Oh, babe, you know I wouldn’t kill you with a knife. There would be way too much blood…”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 10

| USA | Right | June 22, 2015

(I work in a small-to-medium size restaurant, where the owner is usually in and works alongside us. He and I are standing by the counter when the phone rings and I’m close enough to overhear the call:)

Owner: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I-”

Caller: “This is an OUTRAGE!!”

Owner: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “You got my food order all wrong! I demand to speak with the manager!”

Owner: “I happen to be the owner, ma’am.”

Caller: “…”

Owner: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Oh. I, uh… I didn’t know the owner would actually be in.”

Owner: “Well, yes, I happen to be in today so—”

Caller: “No, I mean… I never actually ordered anything.”

Owner: *confused* “I don’t—”

Caller: “You see, I was gonna yell at the manager and hope to get a free meal by saying that I knew the owner, but…”

Owner: “… Do I know you?”

Caller: “No…”

Owner: “…”

Caller: “This is awkward.”

Owner: “Yeah, it is. Please never call back. I don’t particularly do well with customers who try to harass me or my employees, or lie in order for you to get a free meal. Have a nice day.”

(I was still somewhat surprised by her honesty, even if it was due to her total realization that it wouldn’t have worked!)

Related:
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 9
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 8
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7

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Don’t Make Her Dairy, You Won’t Like Her When She’s Dairy

| USA | Working | June 22, 2015

(At the cafe where I work we make burgers and garden burgers. A customer comes in and asks us many questions about the garden burger, even going so far as to ask for the box so she can check the ingredients and stating multiple times that she is vegan and gluten free. Our cook makes a big show of using clean new utensils and a pan instead of the grill we cook meat on to make her order.)

Me: “Dude… you put butter in the pan with her garden burger.”

Cook: “So? I always put butter in! It helps keep it from sticking and tastes nice!”

Me: “She just spent ten minutes making sure that the patty was vegan.”

Cook: “..So?”

Me: “Butter isn’t vegan! It’s a dairy product, made from milk! She won’t want it!”

Cook: “…”

(After a moment of silence he shrugs, flips the patty and nonchalantly replies.)

Cook: “F*** it. She won’t notice.”

(Five minutes later she got her garden burger, took a bite and threw a fit, throwing the burger back at our cook before storming off. Guess she could taste it, and he had to wear the greasy stain on his shirt from that burger all night long.)

Not So (Do)Nuts About Burgers

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Right | June 19, 2015

(I work at a burger place, next to a coffee and doughnut shop. Occasionally we get people in drive-thru that get the places mixed up, but both drive-thrus are close to each other, A customer walks in, past three big pictures of hamburgers, and the restaurant name is posted several times.)

Customer: *looking at the menu* “Can I get an iced capp, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have those.”

Customer: “Oh. The machine’s broken?”

Me: “No. We’ve never had them.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I had one last week.”

Me: “No. None of the [Restaurant] have ever had them.”

Customer: *looks around* “Oh. This isn’t [Donut Shop]. You should have told me.”

Me: “I assumed with the pictures of hamburgers all over, and lack of donuts you knew where you where.”

Customer: *looks around again, and leaves embarrassed*

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