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Cooking Up Some Trouble

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Time

(Five minutes to closing, a woman and her grand-daughter come to the door. What kind of person takes their five-year-old grand-daughter to dinner at nearly 11 at night?)

Customer: “I demand you serve me. It’s not closing time.”

(It is10:55. We close at 11:00.)

Me: *hiding a mental sigh* “Certainly. This way, ma’am.”

(Everything has been cleaned by then: the grill, the counters, the tables, everything. This woman orders things that causes us to re-clean everything. All of us, especially the cook, are livid. They spend about an hour eating.)

Customer: “I need to complain about my steak. I demand that the cook remake it.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(They finally left at about 12:30. When I was cleaning her table, I noticed she had left her car keys. Right after she walked out, we had locked the door. When she came back to the door yelling that she had forgotten her car keys, we all acted like we could not hear her. She had to take a taxi home. I suppose she never was taught about the cardinal rule of not pissing off the wait-staff or cooks.)

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The Dining Table Is Where Food Goes In, Not Out

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular

(I have a large group, 20 or so people. They are regulars and pleasant customers, so I am happy to be serving them throughout the evening. They stay for two hours in our dining room, no big deal; they are spending money, having a good time, and they are the only people in the dining hall. Everyone else is in the bar dining room. Most of the group has left, except a woman, her husband, and their probably one-year-old child, being breast-fed. I have no problems with her breast-feeding, no one is offended, no one is there to be offended and she has a blanket over herself, but then the woman proceeds to change her child in the dining room on the table.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, and it has been a real pleasure serving you all tonight, but do you mind if I ask that you change your baby in the restroom where we provide a baby changing station. If you’re uncomfortable, we do have sanitation wipes for the station?”

Customer: “Excuse me?! I do mind! My child needs to be changed now. No one else is in this room. Am I disturbing other customers?”

Me: “Again, not to be rude, and I understand that you’re just trying to take care of your child. I’m not personally offended, and no one has complained, but keep in mind we serve food to people on these tables, and it’s just not sanitary.”

Customer: “You’re being very judgmental about this. It’s just a baby. No one else has complained, and I have a mat down. I don’t see why you’re having such a problem with this.”

Me: “I understand where you’re coming from, but again, this isn’t about complaints. It’s about sanitation. If you could please, from now on, make use of the changing station in the women’s restroom, I and management would be grateful.”

(At this point she has almost finished changing her baby, and management supports me in my request for a sanitary dining table.)

Customer: “I’ve done this countless times here. We’re regulars, and no one ever complains. I don’t appreciate you causing a scene.”

(There are no other customers in the dining room. They are all in the bar room. No scene was caused. No one even looked.)

Me: “I’m not trying to cause problems. I’m just making a request that, to help keep this place clean, you use the resources we provide to change diapers.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. We’re leaving. I don’t even want to leave you a tip. You’re just a mean girl who hates children. You probably don’t have any children at home.”

(The guest paid and leaves. There was no tip, which I understood. It didn’t bother me that much because there was a disagreement and sometimes that happens. What bothered me is that she left the dirty diaper on the table, not even wrapped up.)

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Double The Trouble

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “What’s the difference between the single fajita and the double fajita?”

Me: “The single one is for one person, where the double is usually shared as it is double the meat.”

Customer: “So you get two fajitas with the double?”

Me: “Well, no. It’s just double the meat on the skillet, which two or more people usually share.”

Customer: “So, it’s two skillets.”

Me: “No, it’s one skillet but it has double the meat.”

Customer: “So it’s meant for one person?”

Me: “No, it’s usually shared. You can have one for yourself, but it’s traditionally split.”

Customer: “So it comes on two skillets?”

Me: “No. One skillet. Double meat.”

Customer: “Okay, we want a double chicken fajita, but on separate skillets.”

Me: “So… two single chicken fajitas?”

Customer: “Yes, that sounds perfect!”

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Just You Wait(ress)

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Popular, School

(I work in a popular chain restaurant waiting tables. It is in a pretty affluent area. A mother and her daughter come and sit in my section. The little girl has a pad of paper and a pen with her.)

Me: “Hi, ladies, how are you today?”

Mother: “We’re great! Thanks for asking.”

Daughter: “Are you a waitress?”

Me: “Yes, I am. Can I get you guys something to drink?”

Daughter: “I want to be a waitress when I get older!”

Mother: *laughing* “Yes, she wants to be a waitress when she gets older. But I know that won’t happen. She’s going to go to college and get a real job. She’s too smart to wait tables.”

Me: *staring at her incredulously* “Umm, can I get you something to drink?”

(Little did the woman know, I wait tables in order to put myself through college.)

icon_moviestv

Customers Are A Bunch Of Slave-Drivers

| Onamia, MN, USA | Movies & TV

(Someone orders some mozzarella sticks under the name Spartacus. I go to bring them out and call the name. As I did, a man stood up and announces:)

Customer #1: “I AM SPARTACUS!”

(Then another guy in the back yells.)

Customer #2: “No, I AM SPARTACUS!”

(I was smirking as I handed out the food, but once I got back to the counter, my coworkers and I were crying with laughter.)

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