What’s Cold Is So Hot Right Now

, | Monroe, WI, USA | Right | January 15, 2016

(I work at a very well known fast food place and am almost always the order taker and cashier during night shifts. One of my regular customers always gets the same thing: large coffee, seven creams and seven sugars. One time she said she wanted to try the iced coffee we have and wanted her usual.)

Me: “So you have hot coffee and cold coffee in on order. Makes me think of Katy Perry.”

Customer: *laughs* “You’re right; I didn’t think of that.”

Me: *jokingly* “Next time you want to order this you should ask for a ‘Katy Perry Order.’”

Customer: “I might just do that!”

(A couple nights later:)

Me: “Thank you for stopping at [Restaurant]. Order when you’re ready!”

Customer: “Yeah. I’d like one Katy Perry order, please!”

(I smile at it to this day and she still comes through with that order.)

Going Nuts Over A Berry

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Right | January 14, 2016

(I work at a restaurant that gives complimentary chocolate strawberries and baguette roll with a combo. A customer comes up to pay.)

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, due to a shortage in Texas we do not have any strawberries.”

Customer: *visual anger rises* “What you mean you don’t have strawberries?!”

Me: “Strawberries are out of season in Texas where we order produce from, so we do not have any in the store. Actually all of the [Restaurant]s in Arizona do not have strawberries. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I AM APPALLED! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! I want a discount on my entire meal!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately I can’t do that because we do not charge you for the bread or strawberries. They come complimentary with the meal.”

Customer: “Where the h*** does it say that?!” *she grabs a menu* “Show me!”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points to and reads the exact line that says “Combo comes complimentary with a chocolate dipped strawberry and baguette roll.”*

Customer: “Well, then I want a free slice of cheesecake!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. I unfortunately can’t do that. Again, I’m sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.”

Customer: “I’m calling MY attorney general and you will see me in court for false advertising! Nowhere does it say that it comes with the meal!”

Me: “Would you like me to read the menu to you, ma’am?”

Customer: “NO! YOU’LL SEE ME IN COURT!”

Me: *with a big smile* “Okay, ma’am! Have a nice night!”

Customer: *looks at me and yells* “OKAY!” *smugly walks away*

Me: *turns to the next customer* “Unfortunately we are out of dipped strawberries at the moment. Is that okay, ma’am?”

Next Customer: “Of course it’s okay! It’s only a strawberry!”

Making Drinking An Art Form

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Romantic | January 12, 2016

(This takes place in a hotel bar. A husband and wife have entered from the hotel side before seeing the sights. We were all very jealous of their plans for the day.)

Husband: “How ’bout a glass of wine before we head to the art institute?”

Wife: “Only one?”

Husband: “Well… one… each… to start.”

Wife: “That’s better.”

Not Behaving Like A Ladies

| VA, USA | Right | January 12, 2016

(We’ve just been alerted by a customer that the ladies’ restroom is out of toilet paper, so we’ve sent one of the cashiers to replace the rolls. Another customer approaches the pickup counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, there’s no toilet paper in the ladies’ room.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. [Other Coworker] is bringing it out right now and she’ll replace it in a moment.”

Coworker: *angrily* “Well, if it takes too long, she’ll have a puddle to clean up on the floor instead!”

(The cashier refilled the paper just a few seconds after that, but the customer still left our corporate office a profanity-laden voicemail about our rudeness.)

Target Acquired

| Hyderabad, India | Friendly | January 11, 2016

(During a trip to India we were having dinner in a restaurant. Anytime we tried to serve ourselves from the dishes on the table, a waiter would hurry over and stop us, telling us it was their job to do that. Not wanting to offend them, we would wait for a waiter to come every time. However it was a busy night. At one point, my friend wanted more butter chicken.)

Me: “Okay. I’ll keep watch and you just take some.”

(My friend just started to scoop some butter chicken when I saw the waiter coming our way.)

Me: “The waiter’s coming! Abort! Abort!”

(Everyone else at the table collapsed in laughter.)

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