Shell Shocked

, | Rehoboth Beach, DE, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It is late at night, in the middle of summer. I’m working at the first window, taking orders as well as working the register. The customer I get sounds drunk, but I don’t think too much of it until he gets to the window. The customer is in the rear seat of the car; thankfully the driver is sober.)

Me: “Good evening. Your total is $[total].”

Customer: “Okay… so that’s… uh…”

(The customer stares at the money in his wallet for a moment before handing me a wad of bills.)

Me: “Alright. Here’s your change and your recei—”

(I turn to hand him his change, to see that he now has a large brown paper bag on his lap. He looks at me, then reaches in the bag and pulls out a crab covered in Old Bay seasoning.)

Customer: “D’you want a crab?”

Me: “Er… no thanks.”

Customer: “You sure? They’re really good!”

(The customer tries to hand me the crab anyways.)

Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not allowed to take… tips?”

Customer: “Aww… that sucks. Well, you have a nice night.”

Me: “Here’s your change. You have a good night, too!”

(My colleagues and I were all left wondering what he was doing getting fast food when he had something better!)

Poorly Perceived

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Money, Top

(I work at a restaurant in a very rich town, in which I also live. I am getting my hair done at a ‘posh’ salon when I see one of my regulars from the restaurant sitting in the first chair.)

Me: “Hello Mrs. [Name]. Good to see you.”

Customer: “Oh hel— aren’t you my waitress from the place down the road?”

Me: “Yes, I am. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I didn’t know people like you were allowed in a place like this.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(At this point my stylist comes over to bring me to her station.)

Customer: *to stylist* “Honey, did you know this girl is a waitress? Are you sure she has enough money to pay? You may want to check before you start serving her.”

Stylist: “Ma’am, [My Name] has been a client here for two years. She’s very reliable.”

Customer: “Oh my. What a waste of money. Poor girls like you should not be wasting their money on things like this. Don’t you have a child to care for or something of the like?”

(At this point everyone in the salon is quite uncomfortable and is staring at the three of us.)

Me: “I’m so sorry Mrs. [Name]. I actually only work at the restaurant because I don’t like to spend my time being unproductive. You see, I am a college student at [very prestigious college]. I am currently studying to be a biomedical engineer, which I’ll have you know is the second top grossing career currently. And since it seems to matter to you so much, I’m quite financially comfortable! And even if I were a poor waitress, as you so kindly suggested, people are free to do whatever they like with the money they work so hard for! Your husband comes in twice a week to get coffee and sit at our counter and complain about you! So really, Mrs. [Name], I’m very, very sorry for you.”

Nothing But Air Between His Bun

, | Hertfordshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a burger restaurant. We’ve just started a new promotion with two new burgers.)

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, umm… Can I try your new burger?”

Me: “Sure. Is that the cheddar burger or the Mediterranean chicken burger?”

Customer: “Uh… what’s the difference?”

Me: “The cheddar burger is a beef burger with cheddar cheese, while the Mediterranean is a chicken burger with peppers and salsa.”

Customer: “I… I don’t know?”

Me: “This one…” *points to picture* “…is our new beef burger, and this one…” *points to another picture* “…is our new chicken burger.”

Customer: “Oh right! So, can I get the new one?”

Me: “Chicken or beef, sir?”

Customer: “Uh… chicken? I guess?

Me: “So, just to check you want the Mediterranean chicken burger? This burger here?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “Okay. Anything else for you?”

Customer: “So, what have I ordered?”

Me: “This burger here, sir.” *points to picture again* “The Mediterranean chicken burger.”

Customer: “Wait, what’s in it?”

Me: “Crispy chicken, peppers, lettuce, salsa and mayo. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, sounds good!”

(I hand the customer his meal and he walks off. He’s back about 10 minutes later, with half of the burger.)

Customer: “Erm, this isn’t what I ordered.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I thought you wanted the Mediterranean chicken?”

Customer: “No. I wanted the new burger. That one!” *points at cheddar burger picture*

Me: “Oh, right… Okay. I’ll just get that for you. Have you already eaten half of the chicken burger?”

Customer: “Yeah, sorry! I didn’t realise until now that it wasn’t the beef one.”

And The Children Shall Lead, Part 2

| USA | Uncategorized

(I am a 33-year-old woman managing a local fast food restaurant. I love what I do, and take pride in my job and my restaurant. I also happen to be only five feet tall.)

Customer: “Hi. I want to order catering for a party I am having tomorrow.”

Me: “Well, we typically need more notice to do a catering order. How many people are you expecting?”

Customer: “Something like 120.”

Me: “We usually can’t do something that large on such short notice, but let me see—”

Customer: “You know what? Let me talk to the manager so I don’t have to be here all day!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager. I’m not saying we can’t do it for sure. I just want to see if we have the staff scheduled, to see if I can pull this off for you.”

Customer:You are the manager? What are you, like 16? How young can you be to be a manager at [Restaurant]? They really need to start caring about their restaurants and hire some adults to run this place! I mean, it’s just kids around here! How are you supposed to run a business without any adults around?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m in my 30s, married, and have children old enough to almost work here themselves.”

Customer: “OH! You are SO LYING! How old are you REALLY?”

(I pull out my driver’s license, covering my info with my thumb, all but my birthdate.)

Customer: “Um.. uh… Sorry. You.. uh.. you… you don’t LOOK your age.”

Me: “I’ll take your shock as a compliment. Now, let me look to see if we have the staff to make your party happen.”

(I check. We did. We pulled off her party the next day.)

Related:
And The Children Shall Lead

Tree-ting The Request With Respect

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Two customers come in for lunch and want to eat outside on the deck. I take their order, bring it to them, and periodically check on them to make sure everything is going well. I come back again at the end of their meal.)

Me: “So, how was everything? Would you like dessert, or would this be all for you ladies today?”

Customer #1: “Everything was great, thank you.”

Customer #2: “It was great, and I don’t want to sound rude, but I’m going to criticize.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer #2: “You’re on the river. You should be a fine dining establishment. You shouldn’t have the trees dropping pine cones and other stuff on the deck. And you should get rid of the spider webs.”

(Customer #1 is looking at Customer #2 indicating that she would like her to shut up.)

Me: “We clean the deck off a few times a week, but the wind has been picking up lately, and stuff keeps falling from the trees. Would you like me to ask the spiders if they would kindly stop building their webs on the deck every night also?”

Customer #2: “If you would do that, that would be great!”

Customer #1: “And I suppose you want her to ask the trees to stop dropping things on the deck too?”

Customer #2: “Yes! Please do it!”

(Fortunatel, Customer #1 apologized to me as soon as they were walking out the door.)

Page 108/297First...106107108109110...Last