Order(s) Out Of Disorder, Part 2

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a drive-in style restaurant that also takes call-in orders. It’s store policy to ask for the customer’s name before ending the call, because we sometimes get more than one call-in order at a time.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Pick-up.”

Me: “Okay. Not a problem!”

(I check the register, and I see that we have three call-in orders at the moment.)

Me: “What was the name for that order?”

Customer: “I don’t know! I didn’t call it in!”

Me: “Well, we have several call-in orders right now so I’ll need some information to make sure you get the right one. What food was on the order?”

Customer: “How the h*** should I know what she ordered?!”

Me: “Okay… So, you don’t know the name and you don’t know what the order was for?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever! Now give me my food!”

Me: “Without the name or the order, I have no way of knowing which one is yours. You’ll either have to call and ask or wait for all the other orders to be picked up first because I can’t just guess and risk giving out someone else’s food to the wrong person.”

Customer: “WELL THAT IS JUST STUPID!”

Related:
Order(s) Out Of Disorder

Some Customers Are Just Worth Recording

, | Cupertino, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m working in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [restaurant]; what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Are… are you a recording?”

Me: “Yup. I’m absolutely a prerecorded message to take your order and make your day just a little brighter!”

Customer: “Oh. Well… I’ll have [order].”

(The customers drive up to the window to pay. I look at them amusingly.)

Me: “Am I a recording?”

Customer: *laughs* “Sorry. You were just so chipper that we thought you were a recording!”

Me: *chuckles* “It’s no problem. I’ve been up for three hours already and I’m loaded up on caffeine! Anyway, your order comes out to [total].”

Customer: “Okay. So, if I drive off right now, do you get to keep the change?”

Me: “Umm… That hasn’t happened before, so… maybe?”

Customer: “Okay. Well, have a great day, then!”

(The customers drive up to the next window to pick up their food. They very kindly leave me with a $15 tip!)

Arguing To The Bitter End

, | USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(First thing in the morning we had a mishap which resulted in both our tea urns to be filled with sweet tea. Unfortunately, several customers got sweet tea instead of unsweet before we noticed the mix up.)

Coworker: *over headset* “Look out! This customer got the wrong tea and is really mad!”

(As my coworker speaks, a customer speeds up to my window. As soon as I open the window she throws her tea at me and starts screaming.)

Customer: “I’ll get you b******s for this! How dare you do this to me! I demand compensation for my troubles! You little s***s could have killed me!”

(Although soaked in sticky tea, I make her a new drink. I get an okay from my manager to pacify her with a small dessert item. Meanwhile, she has been screaming through the closed window the whole time.)

Me: “Here is your tea, ma’am. Again, I’m sorry for the mix up.”

Customer: “Don’t you lie to me. I know you don’t give a s*** about me or any of your other customers!”

Me: “In any case, ma’am, my manager has offered you a small dessert item for your troubles. We have chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies. We also have hot apple pies.”

Customer: “I can’t have any of that crap! I can’t have any sugar or I’ll DIE! See, you don’t care at all. Lying little b****! I’ll never eat here again!”

(Later in my shift during lunch, a very familiar woman comes up to the counter and targets me.)

Customer: “You! You need to get me two dozen of each of your cookies. Make it fast!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Four dozen cookies comes to [price].”

Customer: “Oh, h*** no! I was told I’d get them for free! You f*****d up my order this morning. The manager said I could have free cookies! Just ask them.”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you the manager did not agree to give you four dozen cookies for free.”

Customer: “Yes, they did! I hope you’re fired for this. You are just as rude as that little b**** that sabotaged my order!”

Me: “Ma’am, I did not sabotage your order. While I did offer you a small bag of cookies or an apple pie this morning, you turned it down. At no point was there ever an agreement that you could come in at your discretion and demand cookies from us. I’m sorry, ma’am. I must ask you to leave if you are not going to place an order.”

(A look of slow realization passes her face when she recognizes me as the employee she harassed earlier.)

Customer: “Well, fine! I didn’t want your crummy cookies anyway!”

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 5

| Champaign, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(A man and his four children are in the booth next to my family. I am four years old and am sitting next to my younger brothers. We are all quietly coloring at the table. The children at the next booth are climbing on top of the booth and playing with my father’s hat, throwing food, and running around the entire restaurant.)

Waiter: “Sir, your children are bothering other customers. They need to calm down, or you will have to leave.”

Other Dad: “They’re fine. They’re just running off some energy.”

(The waiter is called away to another table. The kids begin raising another ruckus. They are just getting to an unbearable level when a carrot lands on our table.)

Me: *sets crayon down* “Daddy, may I get up?”

My Dad: “Um, okay…”

(I march to the next table and assume an assertive stance with fists on hips.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. You really need to learn how to control your children.”

(I get back in my seat and resume coloring. The other dad turns bright red. He gathers his kids and hurries out of the restaurant just as their food arrives. Later, my parents ask for the check.)

Waiter: “Actually, sir, even if this meal wasn’t on the house, almost every other customer asked to cover your check for you.”

(20 years later, my mom still calls this her proudest parenting moment. We even got a $50 gift certificate out of it!)

Related:
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
From The Mouth Of Babes

What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 2

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion

(I decide to visit my old work on the off-hours for a quick bite to eat. I am served by a new cashier.)

Cashier: “Okay. That will be $11.89. Press the confirm button to make sure your order is correct.”

(I go to press confirm when this occurs at the same time.)

Cashier: “Do yo—”

Me: “Do you want any sauce with that?”

Cashier: “Uh…”

Me: “Did I just ask you if you wanted sauce?”

Cashier: “Yup. You sound like you’d be fit for this place.”

Me: “I worked the day shift.”

Cashier: “Uh, well. Okay.”

Me: “I need to get out of the food service industry.”

Cashier: “Hey, at least you didn’t scream ‘THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!'”

(A few minutes pass. Another customer goes to order. She proceeds to yell at the cashier seconds after she finished placing her order. Having several years of bad customers under my belt I was pretty sure I could handle this one, even though I didn’t work there anymore.)

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “THIS CASHIER OF YOURS SCREWED UP MY ORDER! I WANT MY FOOD FOR FREE, AS IT’S THE CHRISTIAN THING TO DO!”

(I see that this customer has ordered the food via a self-service order screen. The employee just reads the screen and then hands out the order.)

Me: “Ma’am, I find it hard to believe that this cashier managed to screw up an order that is entirely dependent on the customer’s order screen.”

Customer: “Don’t you dare talk back to me! It isn’t the Christian thing to do! God will ha—”

Me: “Pardon me for a second, but I don’t understand you. While I might not be Christian, you claim talking back to you is not Christian. I’m not sure at what point you manage to assume a role higher than God to be able to dictate what is and isn’t ‘Christian.’ In fact just by doing that you are breaking two of the seven deadly sins! I’m sure that isn’t the CHRISTIAN thing to do.”

Customer: “You’ll burn in Hell for this! I’ll make sure of it!”

Me: “But isn’t that conspiring with the D—”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer proceeds to run out of the building.)

Cashier: “Wow…”

Me: “The sad part is, she is a regular here and has been pulling that for months. Well, you had your weird customer, and your first ‘Not Always Right.’ I guess its time for your first tip.”

Cashier: “This has been a long night…”

(The cashier and I have been best friends ever since. That was her first day working there. Thankfully, she never saw the lady again.)

Related:
What Would Jesus Discount?

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