Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

, | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

(I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

(The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

Customer: “It’s still cold!”

Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Irredeemable Ignorance

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Chile.”

Customer #1:  “Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

Me: *smiling*

Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”

Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

Me: “Can I get your last name?”

Customer: “Aslan.”

Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

(Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

Customer: “Like the lion!?”

Hostess: “… Right.”

A Culling Of A Cullen

| WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

(I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

(I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

Their Service’s Days Are Numbered

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(The restaurant I work at has a rewards program that is linked to the customer’s phone number. Occasionally, they receive text messages about various promotions.)

Customer: “I haven’t received any text messages lately for the rewards program. I used to get them all the time.”

Me: “That’s weird! I wonder what happened? Would you like us to double check that you’re still in the system?”

Customer: “I guess I should give you my new number.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

Customer: “It’s just weird. I got the texts just fine on my old number, but then I got a new phone number and now I don’t get any.”

Me: “Wait. You created a rewards program membership under your old phone number, you didn’t let us know you got a new phone number until now, and you’re upset because you can’t figure out why you weren’t receiving the promos?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: ” … I imagine updating your phone number will help.”

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