Party Crashed And Burned

, | Fairborn, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(For the past couple of days we’ve had signs on our doors indicating the dining room would be closed for a Christmas party. The night of the party, I come up to the door carrying a dish in a stone pan. The manager opens the door to let me in when a customer runs past me, inside the dining room.)

Me: “What was—”

Manager: “Hold on.” *closes the door behind me* “Now we shouldn’t have customers trying to come in.”

(I set the dish down and go to get my second load from my car. When I get back, a family of customers is seated in a booth next to the food my coworkers and I have brought in.)

Customer: “Hey, you! What is with that food?”

Me: “We’re having a Christmas party.”

Customer: “You are?”

(I look at my coworkers, and then at the decorations and the games we have set up.)

Coworker: “Yes! We closed at nine.”

Customer: “You did?”

Manager: “We have signs up saying that we did.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t see those.”

Manager: “Because you ran past my employee, who was carrying stuff in for it.”

(The customer blushes and helps his family pack up to leave.)

These Customers Come But Once A Year

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(The restaurant I work at is closed Thanksgiving and Christmas, and has been doing so for 20 years. Every year, we get at least one call the day after each complaining. It is December 26th.)

Caller: “Hi. I tried coming to your restaurant yesterday but the lights were all out, the doors were locked, and nobody answered your phones!”

Me: “We were closed yesterday.”

Caller: “But you guys are never closed on Christmas!”

Me: “Sir, we’ve been closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving every year since we opened.”

Caller: “Liar! I DEMAND to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Sir, I am currently the only one in right now. I can give you the owner’s number if you like.”

Caller: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER! I WANT A MANAGER!”

Me: “I am the manager on duty. If you call back at about 11, the mid-shift manager will be in and you can speak with him if you don’t want to speak to me.”

Caller: “I want free food because you people locked the doors and wouldn’t let me in yesterday!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t give you free food because you came by on one of the two days of the year we are closed.”

Caller: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Do you work somewhere that closes on certain days?”

Caller: “Yeah! I work for the bank!”

Me: “So, if I called in on a Monday and demanded free services because I had come by the Sunday before and you were closed, what would you do?”

Caller: “I would laugh at you and hang up.”

Me: “Well, then, I guess that’s as good a plan as any.”

(I laugh at him and hang up.)

With A Side Order Of Hypocrisy

| ID, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It’s my first night shift at my new job. Two customers come in at around 9 pm.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Can I have a chicken sandwich?”

Customer #2: “Ugh. Don’t do that! All the food here is crap! It’s CRAP! You’ll get FAT!”

Me: *awkwardly* “So… would you like—”

Customer #2: “It isn’t real food here, anyway. It’s all processed and fake!”

Customer #1: “Are you getting something or not?”

Customer #2: “Yeah.” *to me* “Gimme two double cheeseburgers and a medium fry.”

Order(s) Out Of Disorder, Part 2

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a drive-in style restaurant that also takes call-in orders. It’s store policy to ask for the customer’s name before ending the call, because we sometimes get more than one call-in order at a time.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Pick-up.”

Me: “Okay. Not a problem!”

(I check the register, and I see that we have three call-in orders at the moment.)

Me: “What was the name for that order?”

Customer: “I don’t know! I didn’t call it in!”

Me: “Well, we have several call-in orders right now so I’ll need some information to make sure you get the right one. What food was on the order?”

Customer: “How the h*** should I know what she ordered?!”

Me: “Okay… So, you don’t know the name and you don’t know what the order was for?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever! Now give me my food!”

Me: “Without the name or the order, I have no way of knowing which one is yours. You’ll either have to call and ask or wait for all the other orders to be picked up first because I can’t just guess and risk giving out someone else’s food to the wrong person.”

Customer: “WELL THAT IS JUST STUPID!”

Related:
Order(s) Out Of Disorder

Some Customers Are Just Worth Recording

, | Cupertino, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(I’m working in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [restaurant]; what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Are… are you a recording?”

Me: “Yup. I’m absolutely a prerecorded message to take your order and make your day just a little brighter!”

Customer: “Oh. Well… I’ll have [order].”

(The customers drive up to the window to pay. I look at them amusingly.)

Me: “Am I a recording?”

Customer: *laughs* “Sorry. You were just so chipper that we thought you were a recording!”

Me: *chuckles* “It’s no problem. I’ve been up for three hours already and I’m loaded up on caffeine! Anyway, your order comes out to [total].”

Customer: “Okay. So, if I drive off right now, do you get to keep the change?”

Me: “Umm… That hasn’t happened before, so… maybe?”

Customer: “Okay. Well, have a great day, then!”

(The customers drive up to the next window to pick up their food. They very kindly leave me with a $15 tip!)

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