Anti-Bigotry Bigotry

| Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids

(I am a male host at my father’s restaurant. My very flamboyant boyfriend has come to pick me up at the end of my shift.  I need to seat the customers first, so I asked him to step out of line.)

Customer: “How dare you!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “That boy wants to eat in this restaurant, and you’re refusing him service because he’s gay?! Let me speak to your boss!”

(I go and fetch my dad, who’s having a hard time keeping the smile off his face.)

Dad: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “That host is a homophobe! He asked that gay boy to move so he could seat the rest of us! I demand that you fire him!”

Dad: “First of all, that’s my son, and—”

Customer: “I guess you’re homophobic, too, then.  Huh? Did you teach him that homosexuality is wrong and disgusting?”

(She continues shouting abuse for a few minutes. My dad patiently waits until she was done talking.)

Dad: “Second of all, the gay boy he supposedly refused service to is his boyfriend, who is here to pick my son up for their date.”

Customer: “Oh, uh…”

(She politely apologized to all three of us, and told my boyfriend and me to have fun on our date. Moral of the story: Don’t assume that everything you see is a hate crime!)

Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

, | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

(I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

(The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

Customer: “It’s still cold!”

Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

Not The Cream Of The Crop

Irredeemable Ignorance

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Chile.”

Customer #1:  “Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

Me: *smiling*

Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”

Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

Me: “Can I get your last name?”

Customer: “Aslan.”

Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

(Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

Customer: “Like the lion!?”

Hostess: “… Right.”

A Culling Of A Cullen

| WI, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Love/Romance

(I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

(I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

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