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Giving You A Big Pizza Crazy

| Valencia, Spain | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A woman in her fifties enters the restaurant from the employees-only door.)

Customer: *shouting* “I want twenty pizzas!”

Me: “Miss, I can’t get your order from here. Please, use the entrance for customers.”

Customer: “I want twenty pizzas!”

Me: “I heard you, but I can’t take your order like this. Please, come to the bar from the other side and I’ll get your order.”

(She goes around the corner to the customer entrance and gets to the bar.)

Customer: “I want twenty pizzas! And I want them now!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. What size?”

Customer: “The biggest one. And I need them in five minutes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but the oven takes that long only baking one pizza, and I need to make them myself, cut them, and put them in boxes. That’ll probably take at least 50 minutes.”

Customer: “But I want them now!”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s physically impossible. I’ll gladly make them as fast as possible, but not in five minutes.”

Customer: *turns back and starts walking out while mumbling* “Ha! Why would I want that much pizza? Who am I going to feed, the whole city? You’re crazy.”

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They’re Winging It

, | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m not ready yet!”

(We’re trained to greet the customer, ask for his or her name, then proceed through the order, so I wait for twenty seconds or so.)

Me: “Could I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Don’t rush me!”

(A minute later.)

Customer: “I’d like wings.”

Me: “All right, could I have your name for the order, please?”

Customer: “I’m not done yet!”

Me: “We ask for the name at the beginning of the order.”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “All right, [Name], do you want a combo or just the wings?”

Customer: “Just wings.”

Me: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Customer: “Ten.”

Me: “All right, [Name], and will those be boneless or regular wings?”

Customer: “I want the wings.”

Me: “Yes, boneless or regular?”

Customer: “Yeah, hot.”

Me: *louder* “Boneless or regular?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Regular wings are the… regular… wings, like drumsticks and flats. Boneless wings are… without bone.”

Customer: “Yeah, the regular wings. That’s what I said!”

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A Paper-Thin Reason To Be Angry

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am bartending and the only front-of-house staff member on a slow Friday lunch. A notoriously very picky customer comes in, and her mother joins her later. They both order a Greek salad, without telling me they mean to share it. I drop off the food when it is up in the kitchen, and when I check back on them this happens.)

Customer: “I can’t eat this; there is PAPER in this salad!”

Me: “Oh! Oh, wow, I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. Can I replace that for you?”

Customer: “No, no, just take it away. This is terrible.”

(Then I notice — her mother had scraped half the salad onto the bottom plate. At the restaurant I work at, specialty salads are served in a dish with a flat plate underneath, and we put a cocktail napkin on the flat plate to keep it from shifting. I immediately realize what has happened.)

Me: “Ma’am, I will replace this immediately but I can explain what happened…” *and do*

Mother: “Oooh… well, then, [Customer], we’ll just wait for another. I must’ve just—“

Customer: *in extremely condescending tone* “No, just take it away. I don’t want to discuss this any more.”

(I explain to my boss, the owner, what had happened and she tells me to take the salad off their bill so I do. Later when I drop the bill off…)

Me: “And I’ve taken that salad off your check, ladies. So sorry for the mix up. I hope everything else tasted all right.”

Customer: “UGH! That really wasn’t necessary!”

(I guess some people are never satisfied…)