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Not Very Closed Minded, Part 21

, | NY, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at a well-known coffee chain and we are moving from our current store down the road to a larger building. We have been advertising the move for months and told all our customers that we will be closing for one day to move all of our machines, etc. The front door is locked and has multiple signs on it staying that we are closed. In order for us to move machines out easily the side entrance is held open by a garbage can. All the machines and merchandise left in the store are scattered all over the dining area and counters.)

Customer: *approaches front door and pulls on it vigorously multiple times before realizing it is locked and walking around to the side entrance* “Can I have a medium iced coffee with extra cream?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, we are closed today. We are in the middle of moving.” *waves arms around pointing to all the machines and merchandise*

Customer: “So I can’t have my coffee?”

Manager: “No, sir, we are closed and we do not have any coffee made or any machines to brew it.”

Customer: “Well, why doesn’t it say that you are closed anywhere?”

Manager: “With all due respect, sir, there are signs all over the front door and the machines and merchandise are scattered throughout the store.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought that meant only the front door was closed. Have a nice day!”

(We all stood there baffled and still laugh about it to this day! Unfortunately he wasn’t the only customer to come in asking for coffee!)

Related:

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 20

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 19

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 18

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You Don’t Know Jack About Jackelopes

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(The restaurant where I work is western themed and a popular stop for tourists. I’m ringing a couple out at the on-site gift shop when the lady spots our stuffed Jackelope head mounted above the door.)

Lady: “Is that real?”

Man: “Of course it’s real. Look at it.” *he catches my eye and winks*

Me: *playing along* “Yeah, actually, [Founder] caught this guy out in the south field in the sixties.”

Lady: “Wow! You know I’m from [State] and we don’t have them there. I thought they were a myth!”

Man: “Probably because they look like regular rabbits from a distance, right?”

Me: “Yep. Right up until fall when the Jacks’ horns really come in. The doe’s are harder to spot pretty much year round. Last year, I think, we had a four prong Jack spotted on the property.”

Lady: “I guess you learn something new every day!” *she snaps a picture with her phone and begins to walk away* “I’m going to have to tell [Friend] that she was wrong…”

Me: *quietly to the man as he turns to follow her* “She’s going to kill you.”

Man: “Worth it.”

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Common Sense On A Diet

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A few friends and I are in the car driving home from the city. We pull into Fast Food Restaurant. I pull up far enough for my friend in the back seat to order.)

Friend: “I’d like a number five with no pickles and a [Soda #1], a number seven with a [Soda #2], two large fries, and a diet water.”

Person Taking Order:  “What was that last part?”

Friend: “Two large fries and a diet water.”

Person Taking Order:  “One moment, please.”

(The person taking the order forgets to mute his headset. We hear him asking another coworker if they carry diet water. His coworker starts laughing hysterically.)

Person Taking Order:  “Please pull up to the window”

(I pulled up to the window to see that the person that took the order was bright red and highly embarrassed for not realizing what he asked his coworker for. His coworker was still laughing hysterically and struggling to stand back up in the background. I tried my best not to laugh even though everyone in the car was in tears from laughing so much.)

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The Gift Of Giving Was Lost On Them

| Greenwood, IN, USA | Money, Non-Dialogue

I worked my way through college waiting tables at an Applebee’s in a mall just south of Indianapolis. The money wasn’t great but it was enough and I needed a job with really flexible hours.

One evening, I’m given a five-top that’s a couple of parents and their three boys. I come by to introduce myself and the father introduces himself as a local minister there with his family. He mentions they’ve been given a $500 gift card from his congregation. I set about taking care of them and they go for a good sized meal; drinks, a few shared appetizers, main course and even desserts.

All things considered they aren’t a terrible table, but I did have to push two tables together which made my section smaller.

At the end the minister asks about using the gift card and I tell him it works just like a credit card. I run it through and return the slip. I hand it to him and he shakes my hand and tells me what an excellent job I did for him and his family and then they’re all out the door. I go back to help bus the table and pick up the credit card slip.

When I find it I see it’s been signed with a big zero for the tip. I turn and watch them walk to their car out the window in total amazement. I got a hand shake for how well I’d done serving them their free meal and they didn’t give me a cent.

I know it’s not the worst burn — I’d seen people get worse — but it was the first time I was dumbstruck by getting stiffed.

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In The Days Before The Phantom Was A Menace

| OH, USA | Geeks Rule

(This takes place before the newer Star Wars movies came out (Episodes One, Two, and Three). I am cashing out customers at the front register. A man and woman come up.)

Me: “Hello. How was everything?”

Man: “It was great, young Jedi!”

Me: *dumbfounded*

Man & Woman: *chuckle*

Me: “All right… here is your change. Oh, and I’m not going to tell you to have a nice day… instead, I’m going to say…”

Me & The Man: “May the Force be with you.”

All Three: *chuckles*

Man: “Have a good day!”

(That made me smile.)

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