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I’ve Come As The Mommy

| Lakewood, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I go into a burrito restaurant on Halloween, where they are offering burritos for three dollars if you come in costume. I am not wearing one. When I get up to the register, the following exchange occurs:)

Cashier: “Aww, you aren’t wearing a costume today!”

Me: *looking down at my sweater and old jeans* “Yes, I am.”

Cashier: “What are you supposed to be?”

Me: “A mom with depression who hasn’t eaten anything in two days?”

Cashier: *with a knowing smile* “Your total is three dollars.”

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Their Dine And Dash Hopes Were Dashed

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]!”

Customer: “Hi. I am paying for four, with drinks.”

Me: “Okay. Your total is [total].”

(As the customer pays, her three friends come in, walk past her and sit at a table across from the buffet and whisper among themselves. The woman that paid gets her food, then her friends do, too. After about 20 minutes I look over at their table and see the three friends whispering again and looking at me. Suddenly the three of them get up and run out the exit door laughing. Once they get outside they high-five each other and look back at me and my coworkers, taunting us.)

Customer: *to her friends* “I paid for you already!”

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Tipped Off To Be A Bad Tip

| Stoughton, WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I am 16 and this is my first day at my first waitressing job. The town is small and pretty much just packed with old people. I am feeling pretty good because I get tons of compliments on how nice I am. One older guy took up tons of my time but an older waitress told me it’s fine cause he tips well. After he left I went to clear the table.)

Me: *to older waitress* “Oh, my god! It’s $100! Wait… This is a fake.”

Older Waitress: *laughing* “Yeah! He does that to all the new girls!”

Me: “He didn’t even leave a real tip. How is that funny? I make $2 an hour and need to get tips to make a normal wage!”

(I quit shortly after that because the owners and older staff were nuts. 15 years later I moved back to town to be by my parents and saw that man in a restaurant. He was about to pull the same thing on a young girl.)

Me: “Don’t you dare! You did the same thing to me 15 years ago! Hasn’t anyone told you how freaking rude that is!”

Man: “It’s a joke!” *he got up and left*

Me: “Well, it’s not funny!”

(I got up and cleared the table myself and tossed out the fake tip. The poor girl came up confused. I handed her a real tip and suggested she never waste her time on that guy again.)

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Her Attitude Is In Need Of “Help”

| Nashville, TN, USA | Bad Behavior

(I am a bartender at a large event venue. Our restaurant often hosts high profile parties for very wealthy clients (musicians, actors, etc.). I’m carrying a tray loaded with hors d’oeuvres trying to navigate a room packed with 300 country music stars, their families, and production staff. One of the celebrities swings her arm back and hits me in the face. I hear her say something which I interpreted as “Oh, I’m sorry!” and I reply by turning around and saying in my charming southern accent:)

Me: “You’re fine, honey. Accidents happen.”

Celebrity: “I didn’t apologize. I said, get out of my picture. I don’t want the help in my pictures.”

Me: “I didn’t realize I was ‘the help.’ My sincerest apologies. I won’t come anywhere near your pictures, ma’am.”

Celebrity: “And your hors d’oeuvres suck.”

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So-Duh

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(I work as a waitress at a low-end diner. Recently, we switched from selling Pepsi to Coke products. I have had some trouble explaining this to dedicated patrons in the past, but this one incident takes the cake.)

Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name], and I will be your waitress this evening. Can I get you started off with something to drink; maybe some lemonade, iced tea, or a Cok—”

Customer: “I’ll take a Pepsi, diet.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we have Coke products. Perhaps you’d like a Dr. Pepper or Root—”

Customer:” Oh, I guess Mountain Dew is fine, then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Mountain Dew is a Pepsi product. We have Co—”

Customer: *louder than before* “I’ll take a SIERRA MIST.”

Me: *desperately* “Is Sprite okay?”

Customer: *practically shouting* “No, I don’t LIKE Sprite! Jesus Christ, what do you guys sell here?!”

Me: “We sell Coke products, ma’am…”

(I then recite a comprehensive list of all Coke products we have.)

Customer: *thinking* “You know what? I’ll just have a water. I shouldn’t be drinking soda anyway.”

Me: “I’ll get that for you right away…”

(She was cheerful for the rest of the meal but left no tip. My manager told me that she does this every week and every week she complains to corporate.)

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