Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a southwestern-themed restaurant, and many of our recipes include similar spices, just in different amounts. Onion is one of the most prominent ingredients in our recipes, and we sometimes get a request for ‘no onion’ in certain items. We can make some things, but it’d be pretty much just lettuce, cheese, and any number of fresh chopped vegetables that aren’t onion or mixed with anything that has onion in it. As such, I get this man in line.)

Customer: “I’d like a burrito.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that with or without guacamole today?”

Customer: “With.”

(The guacamole has onion in it.)

Me: “What kind of meat on your burrito?”

Customer: “Chicken.”

(The chicken has onion in the seasoning.)

Me: “Any rice or beans?”

Customer: “Sure, I’ll take [rice with onion in it], and [beans with onion in them].”

Me: “Any grilled vegetables?”

Customer: “Ooh, no, thank you. I’m allergic to onion.”

Me: “Sir… if you’re allergic to onions then I highly suggest you don’t eat this burrito. There is a load of onion in it already.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m only allergic to onion that I can see.”

(Eight years of culinary experience, and this is the first time I’ve heard that excuse. I made him his burrito – leaving off anything with visible onion – and he went on his way. No complaints yet.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8

A Wrong Order And Out Of Order

, | Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work at a popular fast food chain. There are a few problem customers that come through regularly and try to scam us to get free food. This one couple comes in a lot and tries to say that one of the managers said that they can have free food because their order was messed up. Fortunately, one of my managers knows who they are, so when they order my manager goes out of their way to make sure that their order is correct. Keep in mind that there is another manager in the grill making their sandwiches, plus another manager that runs their food out to them and stands at their car and watches them check their food to make sure that it is correct. Sure enough, not 10 minutes after they leave, we get a phone call.)

Customer: “Hi. I just came through the drive-thru, and my order was wrong. There was no ham on my sandwich!”

Manager #1: “I’m sorry to hear about that. Did you just come through and we had to park you?”

Customer: “Yeah. Every time I come through you guys mess up my order! I demand you guys compensate me!”

Manager #1: “I’m sorry. But I’ve been told from my boss that I cannot give you guys any more free food. We know who you are and that you try to scam us. I had three managers check to make sure that your order was correct, and I stood out there to make sure that you guys checked your food. There is nothing more I can do for you.”

Customer: “Now listen here, b****! I—“

(At this point my manager is at the end of her line, so she hangs up the phone. Sure enough, we get another call back from the same number, so another manager, the one who was in the grill, answers the phone instead.)

Manager #2: “[Restaurant], this is [Manager #2]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! I was rudely hung up on by another manager when I was complaining! I was trying to say that my order was wrong AGAIN. There was no ham on my sandwich, and now my food is cold!”

Manager #2: “I am sorry to hear that, but unfortunately we cannot do anything to help you. We have been told by our general manager that we cannot help you anymore.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You guys always mess up my food! I can bring this sandwich up and show you that there is no ham on it!”

Manager #2: “Well, you can do that, but be assured that I know that that sandwich had ham on it when it left the store. Whether you took it off is none of my concern.”

Customer: “And how do you know that?”

Manager #2: “Because I am the one that made your food.”

Customer: “Are you f****** calling me a liar? I know when my food is messed up.”

Manager #2: “Well, unfortunately there is nothing more we can do. You have a fabulous day.”

(Manager #2 proceeded to hang up the phone. I don’t get why people think that they can continuously scam a restaurant into getting free food even when we had three managers check it! Fortunately, we haven’t seen them since. Hopefully they learned their lesson.)

H2-Slowly Getting There

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a restaurant that primarily serves FRIED chicken and I’m running the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Uh, yeah, how do you make your chicken?”

Me: “We bread and deep-fry it, sir.”

Customer: “So you mean in grease?”

Me: “Yes, sir, in grease.”

Customer: “Do you have any chicken sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes the numbers 2, 3, and 4.”

Customer: “Oh. How much for a glass of water?”

Me: “That’s free, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that.”

(This conversation took four minutes. All he wanted was water.)

Setting Of A Smoker Gun

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work in a very touristy area and we are constantly busy with many families with children due to the attractions there. In the state of California, it is illegal to smoke 20 feet within most buildings, especially restaurants, and my company has a strict rule on that…)

Guest: *standing just right outside smoking a cigarette with smoke coming into the restaurant*

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to move just beyond those green trashcans over there to smoke.”

Guest: *smiles at me and instead of moving forward towards the trashcans, he just takes a step to the side*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s that way. Please.”

Guest: *smiles and suddenly takes off*

(I think the guest was gone but next thing I know he comes storming back up to me, no cigarette.)

Guest: “You cannot make up your own rules you know.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “That was rude! You cannot tell me where to smoke and not smoke.”

Me: “Sir, it’s actually California State Law that prohibits smoking within 20 feet of most establishments.”

Guest: “Law? LAW?! WELL THEN, STROLLERS SHOULD BE BANNED!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “YOU HEARD ME! Strollers should be banned! They’re illegal! As I was standing over there, I got ran over by them, not once, not twice, but multiple times! They should be banned.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “IT’S ASSAULT AND BATTERY! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

Me: “Uh…”

Guest: “YOU ARE A VERY RUDE PERSON! Can’t just make up s***! YOU ARE VERY RUDE!”

(And he stormed off yelling a few other things about me and soon just disappeared.)

Tapas On Tap

, | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We’re a tapas bar, so lots of small portions. We usually recommend two-three per person. Tonight, we’ve got a lot of bookings but can sometimes fit people in for limited slots of time. Two customers come in without a reservation, and it’s around 6:30 pm.)

Me: “Well, I can fit you in now, but I’m afraid we’ll need the table back by 7:30.”

Customer #1: “That’s loooads of time. We’re only getting something light.”

Me: “Okay, here you go!” *hands over tapas menu*

(A few minutes later, I approach for drinks.)

Customer #1: “A bottle of [Wine], please.”

Me: “A bottle… Okay!”

(A few more minutes later.)

Me: “And can I take a food order?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, so I’m like really hungry so I’m going to have like everything.” *laughs maniacally and lists almost everything, about seven items*

Customer #1: “Oh, he is hungry! Okay I’ll just have [five more items].”

Me: “…no problem.”

(Their “something light” turned into me having to squeeze extra chairs onto a tiny table for an actual booking because, of course, these two hadn’t left in time.)

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