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Stepping Up To The Regular-Sized Plate

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(The place I work at features an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dish. It’s one of our most popular pasta items but is a pretty generous serving, so not too many people order extra plates. Our spaghetti also comes in two portions, a standard portion, as well as a half portion. Often times, if people order an extra plate of spaghetti, the waitress will actually ask the kitchen staff for a half portion, since few people finish a second portion and we don’t like to see too much food wasted.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “I thought your spaghetti was all you can eat.”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “Well, I ordered a second plate but it’s a lot smaller than the first…”

Me: “Oh, we sometimes do that just in case people aren’t as hungry as they think they are. It happens more than you’d think.”

Customer: “But I thought it was all you can eat!”

Me: “It is.”

Customer: “But I want more than this!”

Me: “Well, when you finish that, we can bring you another plate if you’d like.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yup. It’s all you can eat so we’ll keep bringing you plates until you’re full.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Great!” *goes back to eating happily*

(I made sure his waitress brought him a full portion the next time he asked for a refill. In the end he ended up eating almost four plates of spaghetti, plus a side salad and a generous portion of bread!)

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Got Everything Wrong

, | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “I want three tacos with everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What did you mean by ‘everything’?”

Customer: “You know, everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know what you mean. We have a lot of different ingredients that we can put on your tacos. Which ones would you like?”

Customer: *getting agitated* “You know, everything!”

Me: “We have ‘supreme’ tacos which come with sour cream, lettuce, cheese and tomatoes. Would you like three Supreme Tacos?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s it! With onions and everything!”

Me: “So, three Supreme Tacos with onions and what else would you like on them?”

Customer: “You know, everything!”

Me: *reading off our list of ingredients in order* “So you want three tacos with beef, chicken, steak, red sauce, chili, beans…”

Customer: *interrupts* “No, no, no! I didn’t say I wanted all that! I didn’t say to get all ludicrous about it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m just trying to figure out what you want on your tacos.”

Customer: “Everything!” *she then leaves the drive-thru without saying another word*

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I Love The Smell Of BS In The Morning…

| VA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Military, Popular

(The high-end restaurant I work at offers a hefty discount to serving military or military veterans. A couple come in, the man in an army uniform. I notice something off about the man’s ribbons and notify the restaurant owner (who is a veteran). He goes over to the couple’s table.)

Owner: “Good evening. Welcome to [Restaurant]. I’m the owner, [Owner]. I just wanted to come over and thank you for your service. Would you two like a glass of wine on the house?”

Man: *obviously pleased at the recognition* “Sure, thanks.”

Owner: “Or would you prefer a soft drink? I know alcohol doesn’t stand up to the super-soldier serum very well.”

Man: “What?”

Owner: “Well, by your ribbons there, I see you served in Vietnam. You don’t look a day older than 30, so my guess would be super-soldier serum, right?”

Man: *now bright red* “Uh…”

Owner: “Only explanation for it, considering that impersonating a military officer is worth three years in prison and no one would be f***-witted enough to do that for a discounted meal, right?”

Woman: *absolutely enraged* “You lying f***ing sack of a**-holes!”

(The man bolted out without his date. The owner gave the woman a free meal and a couple of desserts to take home, and one of the wait staff gave her a ride home.)

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