Doesn’t Know Beans About Road Trips

| Related | October 2, 2015

(This happened back in the 1970s. Our family has decided to take a vacation to Chicago, and we’re driving there in our little 1967 Volkswagen Beetle. As we pull up…)

Dad: *gets out* “All right! Everyone out!”

Me: *gets out*

Sister #1: *gets out*

Sister #2: *gets out*

Mom: *gets out*

English Mastiff: *hops out*

Cousin #1: *gets out*

Cousin #2: *gets out*

Cousin #3: *gets out*

(At this point, all eight of us and the not-that-small dog are standing beside our tiny car, staring at my dad.)

Mom: “You are no longer allowed to have beans and wasabi before long trips.”

1 Thumbs

Thank You For Shopping At Wrongway Mart

| Right | May 2, 2012

(I work at a rest stop in Amsterdam, NY, which is about 180 miles north-west of New York City. We are on the west-bound side of I-90. One night, two customers came into my shop to purchase some chips and soda.)

Me: *ringing out the purchase* “That will be $xx.xx. Will there be anything else?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, how long ’til we get to New York City?”

Me: “You’re about three and a half hours away from New York City, but you’re heading the wrong way.”

Customer #1: “Huh? Whaddya mean?”

Me: “Well, New York City is southeast of here. To get there, you need to get on I-90 east, and then take I-87 south. Right now you’re on I-90 headed west toward Utica and Buffalo.”

(Utica and Buffalo are about 240 and 396 miles away from NYC, respectively.)

Customer #2:“Yeah! that’s where we’re going! Utica, Buffalo, New York City! That area!”

Customer #1: *as the two leave* “NEW YORK!!! WHOO!”

1 Thumbs