CONTENT WARNING: Pet Death

I asked my boss for the afternoon off since I had a sick cat and had to take him to the vet to be put to sleep. I was obviously very upset about this and talked about it all morning.

As I was packing up to leave for the day, I told my boss I was leaving.

Boss: “Oh, okay. Have fun.”

That showed that she had completely ignored everything I had told her earlier because I wasn’t important enough to pay attention to.

Me: “Okay, I will try to have fun putting my cat to sleep.”

She apologized profusely.

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Death (Bird kills bird)

This story reminded me of a time I visited the Renaissance Fair in Georgia. I was watching the birds of prey show, and they were talking about one of the birds. I can’t remember now what type, but perhaps a falcon.

The bird was at the top of the stage backdrop structure and was supposed to fly to a lure held by the handler. Instead, the bird suddenly launched itself behind the structure and out of sight. The handler excused himself and went behind the scenes to find out what was going on. But he accidentally left his microphone on, and the gate to the back was open.

Handler: *Panic in his voice* “Oh, s***! Oh, s***! D*** it! Oh, s***!”

Running ensued back and forth, which we could see through the open gate. We could also hear more exclamations from the handler, similar to his earlier outburst.

A few minutes later, the handler returned to the stage and explained.

Handler: “So, our birds of prey are obviously still wild animals. Instead of coming to the lure, he decided that a passing bird looked like a tasty snack and went after it instead. We don’t want to discourage their natural behaviors, so we’re letting him finish his meal in peace back in his enclosure, and we’ll continue the show with another bird instead.”

Related:
They’re Pretty Good At Following Instructions

One of our managers sadly passed away due to health complications. Many of us in the office are upset at the news, and this is apparent when a colleague comes back from a three-week holiday.

Colleague: “I’m back, and I brought some chocolates from where I stayed! They’re really nice!”

There are a few weak smiles, but no one is in a happy mood.

Colleague: “Gosh, who died and ruined the party?”

Of course, we tell her the news, and she feels awful. She apologises, but we know it wasn’t meant to offend, so we all move on.

A few weeks later, another colleague’s cat passes away. It was old age, and the cat went peacefully, but of course, this saddens the cat lady corner of the office. (They call themselves that and wear the label with pride.) The same colleague is having a chat with them during a tea break and notices that they’re all a bit sad.

Colleague: “Cheer up, ladies! Is someone going to tell me that someone died again?”

Everyone looks at her again.

Colleague: “Oh, wait… Seriously?!”

She never spoke about death again… just in case.

When I was in high school, my grandparents moved to my town. Every Friday, we had dinner at their house.

Over the years, my siblings and I moved out of town, my grandfather passed, and my grandmother moved into a senior care facility. Friday night dinners continued with her and my parents, though now they rotated through the four or so restaurants that she liked. When we grandchildren visited, we knew that Friday night dinners were sacrosanct.

Fast-forward a few more years. My grandmother has died, and we all convene at my parents’ house to support my dad. On Friday night, we all go out for dinner at one of her favorite restaurants.

Waitress: “Good evening, folks! Big party!”

Mom: “Oh, you’ve waited on us before. Do you remember the older woman who’s usually with us?”

Waitress: “Sure!”

Mom: “She died earlier this week. So we’re all gathered here to celebrate.”

The waitress goes silent, and her eyes go huge.

Mom: “Her life! We’re here to celebrate her life. My husband was her son, and these are all her grandchildren. This was one of her favorite places to go, so it only seemed right.”

Waitress: “Well… I’m so sorry for your loss, but this is very sweet. Dessert is on me tonight.”

My grandmother was an incredible person — definitely worth celebrating! We closed out the meal with her favorite: key lime pie. It was a bittersweet evening, but at least I can look back on that gaffe and smile.

CONTENT WARNING: Cancer, Death

My last year in public education was horrendous. I had a narcissistic first-year principal. I had an undiagnosed emotionally disturbed student; the next year, I was told he was diagnosed after he bit a chunk out of another child’s face. I got inundated by an overflowing kindergarten class. I also learned that my mother was declining from stage four colon cancer that had metastasized to her liver and lungs.

I was in the lunchroom on duty when the hospice nurse called me to come immediately. My mom was actively dying. I left the lunchroom to find an administrator.

The front office was empty! I had no idea why. It turned out that every single person in the admin office had left for lunch, leaving absolutely no one there to handle emergencies that might crop up. Not knowing that at the time, I ran into the library, thinking they might be in there. When the librarian saw my face, she asked me what was wrong. I told her. She told me to get going and that she’d tell the principal to ensure my class was covered.

I left and got to the house with just a bit of time to spare, so I was able to say goodbye to my mother and tell her that I loved her.

That evening, I tried to call the principal and the assistant principal. Neither answered. One of my teacher friends told me she would talk to them for me.

Days later, at my mom’s viewing, the narcissistic first-year principal walked into the funeral home and told me she’d come to see if I was telling the truth. She wasn’t even talking quietly or being subtle; she just strolled directly into the service and loudly told me that she was there to see if I had been lying.

My brother was standing next to me, and he was stunned for a moment. Until, at least, she turned to him and — equally loudly — asked what my relationship was to the deceased. That snapped him out of it.

I can’t type what my brother said to her because of the kind of language he used. Let’s just say that much of her ancestry was in question, as were the number of brain cells she had. He also gave her a direct order to do some extremely anatomically difficult things involving intimacy. She looked ready to spit fire when she realized that the whole family had turned and were eyeing her in a way that suggested torches and pitchforks. She left.

Days later, I found out that our school secretary kept me from being fired by calling the Administration Building and explaining what had happened to me from beginning to end — and telling them that all the admin staff had left their post with no coverage. We got a new principal.