Bookstore customer: “Do you have the CD, Lord Lift Our Voices Up On High, Volume 11?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry, we don’t have it. We do have Volumes 9 and 10. I can show you where they are.”
Customer: “No, no, I already have those. I like them. Do you have God Loves America, Volume 12?”
Me: “Let me check… yes! We have that one. I can show you.”
Customer: “Do you have God Loves America, Volume 11?”
Me: “Yes. I can show–”
Customer: “Do you have God Loves America, Volume 10?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Volume 9?”
Me: “Yes.”
(This continues until we get to Volume 3.)
Me: “Would you like to know about Volumes 1 and 2?”
Customer: “No, I have those. I like them. Have you heard them?”
Me: “No… so, let me just get these CDs for you.”
Customer: “No thanks.”
(I’ve been helping her for nearly 20 minutes, and suspect she has mental issues; thankfully, she goes away. Ten minutes later, I hear the same customer speak up loudly behind me.)
Customer: “Well, I don’t want to go to the doctor tomorrow, but they tell me I have to.”
Me: “Oh, uh, ehrm… yeah?”
Customer: “Yeah. Colonoscopy. I don’t want to, but they have to find out where the bleeding’s coming from.”
Me: *whimpers*
(At this point, I leave the music department and hide between the far-right security sensor and a book display just outside it. The store manager walks by and sees me.)
Manager: “What are you doing?”
Me: “Hiding from a customer who was telling me about her upcoming colonoscopy! She says they have to find out where the bleeding’s coming from!”
Manager: “You can stay.”
This story is part of the Crazy Mental Imagery roundup!
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