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Won’t Be Long Before You Break Again

, , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I am the author of this story of a previous associate that, after making a big deal of legal breaks and scheduling, claimed to my store manager that I had fired her. I became involved in a minor HR case that was tossed out the window due to no evidence that such a thing had occurred. I haven’t thought about this associate in years, but I definitely remember her.

One night, I get called to customer service to help dispute a customer’s problem with our return policy. Lo and behold, it is the former employee that is berating my cashier. We lock eyes and she immediately shuts up. Feelings of irritation bloom, but I push them aside and put on the best, overly-sugary customer service voice that we all have.

Me: “All righty, what can I help out with?”

Cashier: “She would like to return this belt. It’s broken, but there are no tags and no receipt.”

Customer: *Curtly* “Yeah, and you didn’t have any more belts, so I just want a refund.”

I take a look at the belt to see if there is anything we can do. The belt is completely destroyed; the buckle is torn off and there are tears connecting the holes. Our last-ditch option would be to find a belt on the sales floor, but since she said she didn’t find any in stock, she’s sealed the fact that she won’t be getting a refund.

Me: “Why, I’m surprised at you, [Customer]. You know our policies. You know we can’t return anything without the tags and receipt.”

Customer: *Glaring at me* “[Location] lets me return things without the tag or receipt all the time.”

Me: “Oh, will they? Well, I’ll have to give them a call and fix that problem. However, we won’t be returning this for you today. There is no way to get it back into our system without a receipt or a tag. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “You can’t look it up in the system or whatever?”

Me: “We’re not supposed to, but I could humor you. Which store did you purchase it at? What method of payment?”

Customer: “At [Location] with cash.”

Me: “Ah, I’m afraid we’re hitting a brick wall again. We don’t have access to [Location]’s purchases, and a cash tender won’t be enough to identify your previous purchases.”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** BULLS***!”

Me: “Please watch your language, [Customer]; this is a family-friendly store. I’m sorry we couldn’t resolve your issue today. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

She grabs her destroyed belt and stomps out of the store.

Cashier: “What just happened? She was cussing me out before you got here, and then she went silent.”

Me: “She used to work here a couple of years ago and accused me of firing her. She was mad because I wouldn’t let her go to lunch on a three-hour shift.”

Cashier: *Pauses* “I’m glad I never got to work with her.”

Won’t Be Long Before You (Lunch) Break

That’s Not What Rules Are For

, , , | Right | CREDIT: kellyblubook | August 31, 2021

I work at a store that has a return policy of ninety days. If you bring the item in, undamaged, with the receipt, within that timeframe, we will happily and easily complete the return and send you on your merry way.

One day, a woman comes in with an item to return. I scan her receipt as this is the easiest way to complete a return, and the system won’t scan it in, just comes up with an error. Then, I manually input the receipt and I see what’s wrong with it.

Me: “Ma’am, this receipt is from ninety-three days ago, just outside of our ninety-day return period.”

There’s nothing I can do to give her the full price of whatever she wants to return, as I am just a humble worker bee, so I give her two options.

Me: “I can run this as a return without a receipt, but that will give you the lowest price the item has been in the past sixty days or so, and the money will be put on a gift card. Your other option is for me to call a manager up to see what they can do.”

This store constantly has very large sales, so I’d guess she’d be getting 60% of the full price she paid. She goes with option two. Okay, no problem. That means the problem is out of my hands; I’m just here for the ride now as there aren’t any other people in line.

The manager comes up and explains the ninety-day return policy — which is very clearly stated on the receipt, as well as on the BIG SIGN ABOVE THE COUNTER — saying the same thing I did: we can’t return it unless we do a return without a receipt.

Customer: “But that’s ridiculous! Rules are made to be broken!”

Eventually, the manager told her to take it or leave it. She took the store gift card.

It’s Getting Hot In Here And It’s Not The Worn Out Dehumidifier

, , | Right | August 29, 2021

Our store has a gracious three months return policy, so it’s not too hard to return anything that doesn’t work out for you. A lady comes in.

Customer: “I’m returning this dehumidifier.”

She had bought it back in November, at the start of when you need such an item around this area.

Me: “You’ve had this for three months, did you use this, ma’am?”

Customer: “I didn’t use it. Just give me my money back.”

I go around the counter and I check out the box, but there are few things wrong with it. Now if you’ve worked retail before you know when boxes of product are sent the tape that is used is flimsy, mildly useful at best. This lady made the mistake of using tape that was much much stronger and sturdier than what you get with items shipped to the store.

I take some scissors to open the box because already I’m curious as to why you have that item just laying around your house in a big box for three months.

Customer: “Oh no, you don’t need to, you don’t need to, it’s fine, it’s fine!”

Upon opening the box, the machine that should have been white was nothing but black across the whole entire front. I get my manager over and the customer tries to keep the box shut from him seeing it. My manager made her move and opened it anyway because he wasn’t about to tell me to do it when I had explained what I saw.

Customer: “I’m quite angry at you for not accepting my return!”

Manager: “We’re angry back at you for trying to dupe us and take a back and item that’s clearly gross.”

We made her take it back and we kept the receipt so she couldn’t try to return it anywhere else.

He Got Chewed Out Way More Than The Dog-Bed

, , , , , | Right | August 27, 2021

While working the checkout, I spot and recognize a customer we call “Yelling Guy” behind a couple of other customers in line. He has a big pillow-thing in his hands. When I get to him, I gave him my usual cheery greeting.

Me: “Did you find everything okay?” 

His response is to violently throw what turns out to be a dog bed onto the counter. 

Yelling Guy: “I want a refund on this f****** piece of s***!”

I’m a little taken aback, but I nod. He doesn’t have a receipt, but it’s our store’s policy to either allow an exchange of the same item without a receipt or offer store credit. I notice that the inside of the dog bed is completely ripped to shreds.

Me: “What happened?”

Yelling Guy: “It’s supposed to be made out of f****** chew-resistant material, but my dogs still chewed it up! This is bad advertising! How the h*** are you supposed to make people believe that this s*** is tough like the label says?!”

I notice that, while the sides are made of reinforced, canvas-like material, it’s the center of the bed — the soft, pillow-y part that’s supposed to be comfortable — that has been chewed to shreds.

Me: “Well, as you can see, the edges are chew-resistant. The middle part isn’t, though. It isn’t indestructible.”

Yelling Guy: “I don’t care! If it’s advertised as tough, my dogs shouldn’t be able to chew it to s***!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since there was nothing wrong with the bed before your dogs chewed it up, I can’t refund it.”

He opens his gaping maw and howls about how horrible the customer service in this store is, which is enough to bring my manager running.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Me: “He wants a refund on this bed.”

Manager: “What was wrong with it?”

Me: “His dogs chewed it up.”

Yelling Guy: “It’s supposed to be chew-resistant! Does this look chew-resistant to you?!”

Manager: “Sir, you have two choices: store credit or a straight exchange. And since you’ve been abusing my staff, this will only happen this one time. If you come back with the bed destroyed a second time, you will be turned away.”

Yelling Guy: “I’m a f****** customer!”

Manager: “At this point, you’re a hair’s breadth from getting banned. Accept what you’re getting or the police will be involved.”

Since my manager is busy with other hectic, demanding customers, he has to go off to put out another fire — something about a lady shrieking just as loudly but at the other end of the store. Today is a day for yelling, it seems.

Me: “Very well, we can give you store credit.”

Yelling Guy: “I don’t want store credit. I want the cold hard cash I spent on this d*** bed!”

Me: “Since you don’t have a receipt, I can’t give you a cash refund.”

Yelling Guy: “This is the worst f****** customer service I’ve ever received!”

By now, he has scared away all the little old ladies — a huge part of our primary demographic — in line behind him. They’ve probably run to cower in the canned cat food aisle, the aisle furthest away from the registers. I’m trying my best to be civil.

Me: “Look, if it were my decision, you wouldn’t be getting anything at all, so I suggest that you take your store credit before they decide to kick you out.”

Yelling Guy: “I don’t want anything in this store! I want my f****** cash back!”

Me: “And as the manager just told you, you can either have store credit or a straight exchange. Those are your only choices.”

He can tell he isn’t going to get anywhere, so the miserable jerk takes his shredded bed and stalks away to the back of the store. After a few of the sweet little old ladies return to have their birdseed and cat treats rung up, he returns to the end of the line with a brand-new version of the exact same bed in tow. By the time he gets to the front of the line, my sanity has partially returned.

Me: “All right, you want an exchange, then.”

He says nothing, just stands there looking like a child who threw a temper tantrum but didn’t end up getting the candy he wanted. After I exchange the bed and hand him the receipt, I remind him:

Me: “This is a one-time exchange. If your dogs chew this one to shreds, we will not be exchanging it or offering you store credit. It’s chew-resistant, not indestructible.”

He looked at me creepily and says:

Yelling Guy: “We’ll see about that.”

The manager had a meeting a few days later with the rest of the supervisors and managerial crew. The next time “Yelling Guy” showed up, he got the surprise of his life when a pair of uniformed cops showed up during his bellowing tirade and politely asked him to come outside for a little talk. I don’t know what was said, but he hasn’t shown up at our store since.

Refunder Blunder: The Epic

, , , , , , | Right | August 24, 2021

Over the weekend, a customer purchased over a hundred items, paying in part with a gift card and the other part with her credit card. She comes back later to return a pair of jeans for $13 and purchase a $10 sweater.

When returning items, the refund goes back to the form it was paid in; this makes it very difficult to deal with customers who want cash back when they paid with their debit card, but those are stories for another time. When two forms of payment are used, the POS automatically decides between the two forms used to process the refund. For this transaction, it decides to refund her $3 to her card, and she goes on her merry way.

On Monday, she comes in to return the sweater. This time, the system decides to refund her $10 back on a store gift card. The customer then begins to argue with my cashier that she is being shorted $3 from the first return she made. 

The store manager is called up to take care of the situation, and then she asks the customer to step to the side to allow the cashier to take care of other customers. The customer then proceeds to give the store manager a list of demands at the top of her lungs.

Her first demand: reprimand both cashiers involved in both of her returns, as they were rude as h*** when working with her and shouldn’t be working in public. The first cashier that handled her exchange of the jeans and sweater should have just returned the jeans, then rung up the sweater, instead of doing it all in one, she said. The second cashier was shorting her money for the sweater because she wasn’t wearing a mask. The store manager refused to reprimand them in front of the customer, as they had done nothing wrong, and if such a reprimand were needed, it would be done in the office. The cashiers had done their job.

Her second demand: the customer wanted the $3 owed to her from the $13 pair of jeans. She could not find her original receipt and threw whatever receipt she had at the store manager. Out of the wad of paper, she found the original exchange receipt and the most recent return receipt. The store manager showed the customer where the $3 had been returned to her card, and the rest of the refund was used to purchase the sweater. By returning her sweater, she was refunded all $13. The customer wouldn’t listen to a word, insisting we were crooks and shorting her money. The store manager explained it every way she could other than shoving it straight up the customer’s nose. It went in one ear and out the other.

Her third demand: to prove that we weren’t taking her money, the customer wanted us to return the one hundred items she had originally purchased back to her card and then ring up all one hundred items again. Then, she wanted to return the $13 jeans, purchase the $10 sweater, and then return the $10 sweater. In that order. Right in front of her. We can’t refund any items that were not currently in the store, obviously. The store manager says we will not be able to accommodate her request, as she has none of the items with her, and she’s had all of her money refunded to her, so there is no need to redo every transaction.

Eventually, the customer gives in to fits of screaming at the store manager and the cashier, calling everyone idiots and thieves before threatening to call corporate. She leaves the store, only to stay in her car and call us three times to continue to scream at us. On the third call, she demands to speak to the manager and is given to the store manager. She screams, “I DON’T WANT YOU! YOU’RE AN IDIOT! YOU’RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE WORLD! I’LL HAVE YOUR JOB!” and hangs up.

She did call corporate, but I never heard anything back from it.

Refunder Blunder, Part 55
Refunder Blunder, Part 54
Refunder Blunder, Part 53
Refunder Blunder, Part 52
Refunder Blunder, Part 51