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A Baseless Request

, , , | Right | March 4, 2022

A customer calls me up and begins shouting down the phone.

Customer: “I bought a kettle from your store and it’s missing the base!”

Me: “I can help you with that.”

Customer: “How are you going to help me? I’m not coming back to the store!”

Me: “Just give me a second to—”

Customer: “I want a full refund.”

Me: “Please, just open the top of the kettle.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Is the base inside the kettle?”

The customer hung up.

This actually happened a lot! I loved their reactions. The [Store] smart price kettle never fails to disappoint.

The Thin Tighty-Whitey Line

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: KAAYALL | March 3, 2022

At the store where I work, we don’t offer returns on makeup and cosmetics, and most certainly we don’t offer returns or exchanges/swaps on underwear. It’s unhygienic, and even if it has been packaged back up and/or washed, we can’t just trust the customer’s word that it hasn’t been worn or that it is clean.

A middle-aged guy with his two kids approaches my coworker’s till and tries to return his briefs and a T-shirt. Naturally, my coworker explains the return policy.

Customer: “HOW IS IT UNHYGIENIC TO RETURN UNDERWEAR?!”

Naturally, of course, my coworker tries to explain, and even my supervisor gets involved to explain to the man that it is unhygienic and why it is.

Customer: “HOW’S IT HYGIENIC TO RETURN A T-SHIRT AND NOT UNDERWEAR?”

My coworker and I were all sort of at a loss for words.

Even his kids got involved telling him to shut up, and they even mentioned that he does this a lot, so I’m sure other retail staff have had the absolute pleasure of dealing with this customer before.

I doubt anybody would be happy to know they had purchased used underwear.

Kindness Opens Doors And Generates Refunds

, , , , , , , , | Right | March 1, 2022

I work customer service for a small sales website that sells gifts, graphic T-shirts, and stuff like that. 

One of my favorite things is that, having been there for a couple of years, they trust my judgment; they know that I know a lot of loopholes and how to get the system to do what I want, even if it’s not supposed to be able to, and they allow me to do so at my own discretion. I had actually been forcing refunds unknowingly because I just happened upon how to do it a few months into my employment. I thought it was a normal part of the always-convoluted system until a coworker was complaining about not being able to do refunds himself and having to put tickets through to billing, instead. Thankfully, when I showed my manager how it worked and what I’d been doing, he just took notes on how for himself and told me to use the power wisely.

The point is that I can make a lot of exceptions, but only if I want to do so.

We’ve started working from home, so my partner and I are sharing an office. One day, I get a call from an irate customer. She failed to use the prepaid return label we gave her because she went to the wrong delivery company and got mad that they wouldn’t take the label. Instead of going to the correct company to ship it on us, she spent $8 to return it and demanded we refund her.

From most people’s knowledge and the company handbook, there is no physical way in the system to do this; we can only refund the item and shipping we took and cannot refund anything beyond what they paid. This is why we provide the labels and it’s made clear in multiple places, including the return form they get with their packing slip. The only exception is a code for a $5 courtesy refund that the system will accept.

However, it’s an old system, and there’s a way around most things, this included; it involves about ten extra steps and opening two instances of our system at once side by side, so it’s a bit of a pain, but I can get it done. But since it’s not supposed to work like that, and technically it’s against policy, I don’t do it often, mostly because I know it runs the risk of a customer demanding it later with a “But they did it for me before!” attitude.

That is exactly the sort of vibe this lady gives me. She is snippy from the get-go.

Lady: “I don’t see why they didn’t just take the label!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as it’s a [Delivery Company] label, it can only be scanned by [Delivery Company]’s system.”

Lady: “Well, you should have made it more obvious where the label was for!”

Me: “The labels do have the logo in the upper right, ma’am. I’m sorry if it was a little hard to notice.”

This is bull: the logo is about three inches wide and two inches tall, oversized specifically so that it’s easy to see.

It goes on for a while. I end up Googling her town out of curiosity while she rants, and I find that there’s only one location for the delivery company she tried to drop it at, and it’s less than a mile from one of the correct ones! I ask her if they made her aware of that when she dropped it off, but that just sends her into a spiel about how the workers for [Wrong Company] should have just accepted the label and taken it over to [Correct Company] for her. 

I offer her the $5 courtesy refund, but she keeps going over the remaining three dollars and change. By the time my call timer hits three minutes, she is swearing in general at the situation; I swear when frustrated, too, so I don’t mind it. When she turns it on me, though, I shut it down.

Me: “Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but as I’ve explained, there is nothing we can do. We gave you a prepaid label but you chose not to use it. I will not tolerate being cussed at and insulted. I’ve applied the $5 coupon to your account. Have a good day.”

And I hang up. 

My partner doesn’t work with people, so they are pretty shocked; the second half of the conversation was loud enough for them to overhear both sides. I roll my eyes and tell them it’s normal.

A couple of weeks later, we’re both working again, and I get a call from another person. She sounds younger than the first, who was probably in her fifties; this woman sounds twenty-five to thirty at best guess.

Young Lady: “Hi. I’m calling because I returned an item from my order via [Different Company from label]. I didn’t realize it was the wrong place until I was already there, and I ended up just paying for it. Is there anything you can do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the reason we send the prepaid labels is that we cannot refund outside shipping charges; the system won’t allow it.”

My partner catches my eye and gives me a sort of, “Oh, s***, again?” look as we both brace for anger.

Young Lady: “Okay, I kind of figured as much. Thanks, anyway!”

After a breath of surprise, I say: 

Me: “Oh, you know what, one moment. Can you tell me how much it was for?”

Young Lady: “Oh, uh… It was just ten dollars and seventeen cents. It’s fine.”

Me: “Do you mind holding while I talk to my supervisor? I’d like to see if I can do something for you.”

Young Lady: “Oh, yeah, sure!”

I put her on hold and, instead of calling my supervisor, take that moment to open a second system and work the loophole. I manage to refund her money.

Me: “Thank you for holding! I got permission to override the system; your refund has been issued! If you can, please take a photo or copy of your receipt and send it to [my email] for our records.”

Young Lady: “Really?! Thank you! I’ll take care of that now!”

She thanks me a few more times and we hang up.

Partner: “Wait, I thought you couldn’t refund external shipping?”

Me: “We’re not supposed to be able to, but I can.”

I explain the loopholes to him.

Partner: “So, wait, why didn’t you just do it for that lady last week? Wouldn’t it have been easier than being cussed out?”

Me: “Probably, but I don’t reward that kind of behavior. I only use loopholes for nice people; otherwise, it’s by the book, sorry, nothing I can do!”

If only more companies would let their employees do the same.

Be True To Your School (Team Store)

, , , , | Right | March 1, 2022

I work in a team store for a major university. This is THE official store for apparel and everything related to the school. Of course, other big box retailers in town carry much of the same stuff, which annoys us because it isn’t business coming to our store, but what are you going to do about it?

One day, an older guy comes in with a jacket — an expensive one.

Customer: “I bought this jacket here and I want to return it.”

That’s all well and good; it still has the tags on it.

Me: “Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t.”

That’s not a big deal really; we can still work something out. I go to look at the tag to scan it and see what the system says. I don’t get as far as scanning it because the tag that is on this jacket is NOT one of ours. It is for one of the big box retailers in town, and the tag still has the name of that store on it.

Me: “This tag is from [Retailer]. I can’t take this jacket or give you a refund because you didn’t buy it from us.”

Customer: “What?! That’s ridiculous! I’m going to have you fired! In fact, I’m reporting you to the cops and the Better Business Bureau!”

He just kept yelling at me and threatening me. Eventually, he stormed out.

I still think about that very obvious attempt at getting extra money out of something.

Lettuce See How This Turns Out

, , , | Right | February 27, 2022

A man came in with a head of lettuce.

Man: “I want to return this; it’s all moldy!”

Me: “Okay, when did you buy it?”

Man: “[Date three weeks ago].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t return this. It’s been three weeks.”

The guy started to scream at me. He threw the lettuce at me and then screamed in my manager’s face until my manager kicked him out. We watched him get in his car, and as he was starting it, the engine died. It simply would not start, so he ended up coming back in.

Man: “Can someone jump my car?”

We all said no, and he ended up having to sit in the parking lot and wait for a tow truck. Karma is a b****.