I am a keyholder and manager at a retail craft store and we have a lot of sales and coupons that constantly change. Essentially, nothing is the same price from week to week.

Guest: “Can I return these candles that I got for Christmas?”

They were from our fall collection; they had already been discontinued. We require a receipt for most returns and exchanges, especially if it’s an item not in our system anymore. Official policy says not past ninety days, but you KNOW corporate makes us break their own policies to keep the customer happy.

I asked the customer for a receipt, and she got very offended.

Customer: “Do you ever give out receipts with Christmas gifts? It’s very tacky to do so!”

Me: “Have you heard of a gift receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t think my seventy-four-year-old aunt is going to give out gift receipts.”

Me: “I can try to give you store credit for the lowest price they have been sold for within ninety days.”

She looked at me like I was crazy.

Customer: “No, I want an exchange!”

She just kept repeating that the candles weren’t discontinued and that they should be at the same price point as our other candles. That was completely untrue, but okay.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m just following store policy.”

Customer: “I assume you’re the manager?”

Me: “Yes, I am one, but I can grab another manager if you want.”

Customer: “No, but I want you to exchange them; it’s the same price.”

She just got more and more belligerent with every sentence — and she was pretty angry when I said no initially. I honestly started getting kind of shaky and angry, but I tried to keep calm and offered her our corporate phone number.

Customer: “I don’t want that! I want you to exchange these for me right now! What if I just stand here all day and tell customers as they walk in that you won’t exchange these?!”

I gave her a weirded-out look.

Me: “Uh… okay? If that’s how you want to look.”

Customer: “No, that’s how you’ll look!”

I just kind of stared at her, at a literal loss for words.

Customer: “Are you just going to stare me down now?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know what else you want me to say. Are you sure you don’t want our corporate phone number?”

She got even angrier and slammed the candle she took out back in her box and stormed off.

Customer: “F*** you!”

I chirped back as she walked away:

Me: “All right, thank you! Have a wonderful day!”

She was already halfway out the door, but she doubled back to say:

Customer: “I hope you have a terrible day!”

And she FINALLY left.

A lady comes in with an air conditioner.

Customer: “I bought this three years ago, and now I want to return it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our return period is only ninety days.”

She starts fake crying.

Customer: “But I’ve been in the hospital!”

Me: “For three years?”

The poor, sad old lady disappears and Mega Entitlement Queen emerges.

Customer: “MANAGER! NOW!

Me: “Well, that was a short pity party. Sorry, not sorry.”

I’m the assistant manager at a big store. My store has a policy that air mattresses can only be returned if they are unopened and accompanied by the receipt. This is clearly outlined on the shelf beside the product and on the receipt.

While I am standing behind the returns desk covering a bathroom break, a girl of maybe nineteen or twenty wearing a shirt for our local college comes up with a twin-size air mattress. It almost fit back in the box, but I can see it has been opened and resealed with packing tape.

Customer: “I’ll take a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, our policy states—”

Customer: “Look. I don’t care what the policy says. I’m not leaving until I get a refund.”

We stare at each other for a few seconds.

Customer: “I have all day.”

Me: *Smiling* “Okay. Could you step to the side?”

I pick up the box and move it to the other side of the register.

Customer: “Finally, you f****** idiot.”

Me: “I can help the next customer.”

Customer: “Excuse me? We are not done! I said—”

Me: “—you’re not leaving, I know. You’re free to stay all day, but there will be no refund.”

Customer: “Get your boss.”

Me: “I’m the highest-ranking manager in this store.”

Customer: “YOU B****! I don’t need this!”

Me: “I cannot return it.”

She screams in my face. I don’t move, so she takes her air mattress and storms out.

Next Customer: “What are the odds she bought that for a visitor this weekend?”

Me: “Very good, I would say.”

She left a one-star review on our Facebook page, but it was quickly removed.

I work in a toy store. A woman comes in shortly after the release of a very notorious and much-beloved game.

Customer: “I want to buy a video game for my son.”

Her son, an adorable kid but really young, peeks out at me from behind her.

Me: “Absolutely, miss. What game would you like to buy?”

She looks down at the kid and he nods to her as she looks at me.

Customer: “We would like to buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.”

I look down at the kid and figure he can’t be over ten.

I stammer:

Me: “Vice… Vice City… are you sure?”

Customer: *Miffed* “You heard me, GTA: Vice City.”

Me: *Still half-stunned* “Ma’am, I must warn you that this is an M-rated game. Your son may be too young for the—”

The woman completely interrupts my warning, sounding angry.

Customer: “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is the game my child wants, and that is the game he will get!”

Me: “I absolutely understand, but you see, the game contains material that wouldn’t be appropriate for someone his age. There’s a ton of violence… cop-killing… hook—”

Customer: *Cutting me off AGAIN* “I DON’T CARE! JUST GIVE ME THE D*** GAME!”

I open up the glass door, grab a copy of “Vice City,” blinking hard as I look at it, and set it down on the counter to scan it.

Me: “All right, ma’am, that will be [price].”

She hands me the cash while she huffs.

Customer: “Why do these things cost so d*** much?”

I just give her my usual speech at the end of the transaction, thanking her for shopping at our store.

I turn to my manager after the customer walks out with her son.

Me: “This will not end well…”

Beside me, my manager just gives a stoic nod.

Cut to the VERY NEXT DAY.

The woman comes back, absolutely storming in and FUMING. She walks right up to my manager, casting a death-side-glare at me.

Customer: “I need to speak to a manager right now!”

Manager: “I’m the manager. What can I do to help you today?”

Customer: *Slamming the game on the counter* “Your idiot employee sold this game to my eight-year-old son! It has violence and language, and you can kill cops! There are hookers you can have sex with! I WANT MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!”

Manager: *Without missing a beat* “Ma’am, I don’t know if you observed yesterday, but I was standing right next to [My Name], and he was trying to explain all of this to you, but you insisted—”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE! I WANT A REFUND NOW!”

Manager: “If you observe, in the corner, there is a label that states the game rating as M, and if you flip the box over, it states quite clearly in the black and white box at the bottom what objectionable content may be in the game.”

Customer: *Absolutely LIVID* “How the f*** could you sell this game to children?!”

My manager replies more firmly and, let’s face it, a lot less sarcastically than I would have ever been at this point.

Manager: “I’m sorry, but as you have opened the package, the DMCA states — and it is store policy — that we cannot issue a refund for any opened video games at this time. Also, [My Name] did not sell your child this game; he sold the game to you as you were adamant that this was the game you wanted to purchase. I am sorry that you did not enjoy the game, but as the game is obviously not damaged or defective, there is no refund.”

Customer: “YOU KNOW WHAT?! F*** BOTH OF YOU!”

And with that, she finally picks up the game and storms out.

[Manager] and I exchange glances, and at the same time, we say:

Manager & Me: “What… the… f***?”

There would have been a way for her to return it, and we could have told her about it even if corporate would not have liked it one bit. We didn’t take back the receipts or issue new ones on games, just replaced defective product with another product. She could have taken that game to a different [Store] or just come in at a different time and said she discovered that it was inappropriate when she saw the rating. But not for her; she had to pay the a**hole tax.

It was after the holiday rush had ended at my [American Clothing Store], and I was working the opening shift on the register. A middle-aged woman came in and told me she wanted to return a coat.

I discovered that it was a different label. To be fair, the coat she was trying to return looked very similar to the coats we sold, but it wasn’t one of ours.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t return this because it wasn’t purchased here.”

Customer: “No, I bought it here. I need my money back.”

Me: “See this label?” *Shows her the label* “It says [Brand]. It’s a [Brand] coat. We only sell [American Clothing Store] stuff here.”

Customer: “I’m sure I bought it here, and you need to give me my money back now!“

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “All right, but she’s just going to tell you the same thing.”

My occasionally cool manager came over and I explained the situation. The manager took the coat, confirmed the label wasn’t ours, told the woman exactly what I had, and attempted to hand the coat back to the woman.

Customer: “No! I’m not taking that! Give me my money back! I bought that here!”

She refused to take the coat and argued with the manager for a solid hour in what was basically a kindergarten, “Yes, I did,” “No, you didn’t,” argument. Finally:

Customer: “Fine! I’m never shopping here again!“

She snatched the coat and stomped out the door.

Manager: “She didn’t shop here in the first place.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 59
Refunder Blunder, Part 58
Refunder Blunder, Part 57
Refunder Blunder, Part 56
Refunder Blunder, Part 55