A customer is trying to get a return.

Coworker: “Can I ask the reason for the return?”

Customer: “The petrol lawnmower won’t start, it isn’t sparking, I’m a gardener by trade I know what I’m talking about, we haven’t even used it or put petrol into it.”

At this point, my coworker goes to get the manager as we aren’t sure about the policy for returning a petrol lawnmower.

Manager: “So it isn’t sparking.”

My manager proceeds to open the sealed box to get said lawnmower out, only for us to smell petrol.

Customer: “I did empty all the petrol out, but I didn’t want to flip it over and cause more damage just in case you blame me for that.”

The customer states again that he is a gardener and that he knows what he is talking about. I step in as my coworker is getting flustered.

Me: “If it isn’t sparking it’s a sparkplug issue.”

Customer: “No it just won’t start at all, I’ve not even used it.”

Manager: “I’m not sure if we can do a return because there is still petrol in the tank.”

Customer: “But I emptied it there should be nothing in there.”

Indeed there was a ton of petrol that me, my manager and two other coworkers had to drain out. It got all over the floor and stank the shop out, the customer got his refund and a brand-new petrol lawnmower

We tried to point out that he may want to watch the instructional video that the box has a QR code for – that way there are no problems. Turns out he had overfilled the petrol tank and flooded it.

I worked in a membership-based store at the customer service desk. We can look up basically anything you’ve ever bought with relative ease. We also have an overly generous return policy. A man approaches my counter, hands me his membership card, and asks if I can find the receipt for a ten-foot rug he purchased two years prior. I start the process and ask what he needs it for.

Customer: “Oh, my basement flooded and the rug got ruined. We can’t get the smell or stains out. I want to return it.”

Me: *Pause* “Sir, we can’t accept that as a return. That’s not a defect with the rug. I can give you the receipt so you can give it to your insurance company but not for a refund here.”

He argues with me for a few minutes and then demands a manager. My store manager happens to be walking by, so I grab him and give him a rundown of the situation. 

Store Manager: “Sir, she’s correct. That’s not a reason to return the rug. You should get your insurance company to reimburse you, not us.”

This sets off more arguing. Finally, the man says he’s going to call corporate. My manager knows they’ll most likely approve it and we’ll both get in trouble for denying the return. He prints the receipt and writes, “Return approved by [Store Manager],” on it.

Store Manager: “We can return this rug for you this one time. When you bring it in, please have it as dry as possible. If you have any issues, have the cashier call me.”

With that, the customer and my store manager walked off. The next day, the customer brought in that stupid rug. It reeked of mildew and was still damp and heavy as can be. We called a supervisor up to scan it and get rid of it immediately because it smelled so bad. The man left with his several-hundred-dollar refund and a smug smile. Between this and a woman returning a thirteen-month-old bag of frozen ham, I left soon after. It was too infuriating.

I work in a call center and I answer a call.

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This is for order [number], the excursion going to [Location].”

Me: *Pulls it up* “Okay… did you have any questions?”

Customer: “[Competitor] sells it for [price].”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, match the price, you idiot! Do I gotta spell everything out for you?”

Me: “We’re not obligated to match prices. We are as transparent as possible on our website about our prices without any hidden costs or obligations. It’s the responsibility of the customer to research which merchant would be a better option.”

Customer: “Then give me my money back!”

Me: “It’s non-refundable. We made that clear on our website before you finalized the purchase.”

Customer: *Click*

Two minutes later, the phone rings again and I answer with my greeting.

Customer: *Click*

My coworker’s phone rings. They answer.

Coworker: “Okay… Well, normally, we are not allowed to refund these types of tickets for any reason, but if you can verify that all three of your children are in the hospital, I can see if I can try to make a special exception.”

When a customer makes a purchase on our site, we in essence buy the ticket for them from a partnering vendor and make the reservation. Any refunds come out of OUR company’s pockets, and we’d better have a darn good reason for authorizing it, especially for amounts well over $1,000, like this person’s purchase was.

I looked over at my coworker’s screen to see the customer ticket pulled up. I wrote on a sticky note, “He’s lying. Do NOT authorize the refund,” and gave it to my coworker.

Coworker: *Reading the note* “Sir, I’m afraid I can’t assist you. You’re going to need to contact the corporate office for a final decision. Their information is— Yeah, hang up on me.”

The phone rings again and I answer.

Customer: “Oh. You again. Look, why can’t you just match the price?”

Me: “We are under no obligation to do that. We state our prices clearly. And the tickets are non-refundable, as is stated clearly.”

Customer: “Look, I at least need the extra money if you can’t do the refund. Our electricity and water are about to be turned off, my two-year-old child barely—”

Me: “Sir, you’re going to need to contact the corporate office. Have a nice day.” *Hangs up*

He finally accepted his purchase and didn’t contact us further.

I have a coworker who is neurodivergent. He essentially takes most spoken phrases literally and has difficulty understanding some societal nuances. Funnily enough, he talks at length about his love for “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and how he relates to the character Data.

Customer: “I need to return this iPhone.”

Coworker: “What is the reason for the return?”

Customer: “It broke.”

The customer presents a phone with a cracked screen. The receipt puts it outside our return window.

Coworker: “Did you purchase a warranty with us or Apple?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to! It shouldn’t break so easily! I need this refunded!”

Coworker: “I’m afraid that if you’ve not purchased a warranty, there is nothing we can do.”

Customer: “Look! The customer is always right! I need—”

Coworker: “That’s not true.”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “You’re not right in this instance. And you’re a customer. Therefore, the customer cannot always be right.”

The customer is dumbfounded for a moment, as calling out the obviousness of the biggest fallacy in retail isn’t expected in our field.

Customer: “No… I mean, you have to do as I say! I need you to—”

Coworker: “That’s not true. I am here to service our customers within the store policies. Outside store policies, there is nothing I can do.”

Customer: “Then I need to speak to a manager!”

A manager is called, and the return is denied. As the customer storms out, she passes my coworker.

Customer: “And you! You… it’s like talking to a robot!”

Coworker: *Beaming* “Thank you!”

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Client: “I am quite disappointed in that print of your photo. I need a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear about your disappointment, but I don’t usually do refunds on prints unless the print was damaged during shipping. Can you tell me what is wrong with yours?”

Client: “Well, when looking closer, it’s all blurry and this big watermark is ugly.”

Me: “Watermark? My prints are signed on a corner, but there are no watermarks.”

Client: “Yes, there is one! It says, ‘[My Name], photographer,’ exactly like the ones on your website!”

It turned out that this “client” downloaded a photo from my website (about 1000 by 670px, with a watermark) and had it printed somewhere online at a far too big scale… and then wanted a refund on it.