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Imagine Being Responsible For Your Bills

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: jhofsho1 | February 24, 2022

I work for a retailer that provides mobile service. A customer comes in angry and upset.

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

She begins to give me a very lengthy explanation about how she signed up for our mobile services with my coworker, and someone racked up over $600 in charges for a shared plan on her mother’s account.

Customer: “My mother is on a fixed income, and she can’t afford this. She’s going through a lot in life right now.”

I express my sympathy and attempt to help her out, just walking into the situation.

This is where it gets interesting.

Every time I try to read off what is on my computer system or billing ledger for her, she interrupts me and goes on a tirade about how that’s not what she signed up for or how the billing is incorrect.

As it turns out, the person berating me is the one who racked up all the charges. I tell her that.

Customer: “My son has autism, and he uses the phone nonstop.”

That’s not a problem, but it still doesn’t resolve the fact that she is the one who went over.

Customer: “All of the phones on that plan should be unlimited.”

I call up my coworker who helped them, and he confirm that they signed up for a shared plan. The woman denies this and tells me it was supposed to be unlimited when, in fact, my coworker says they insisted on the shared plan.

At this point, the customer switches to unlimited, but the charges remain because they are from a past billing statement.

Customer: “I want a refund for those charges!”

I have no authority to do so, especially for a $600-plus credit, so I email my supervisors and regional managers about what I should do.

All I can do at this point is send an email and provide her with some phone numbers to get her pointed in the right direction.

By this point, the woman is calmer and apologetic and thanks me for helping her.

Not thirty minutes later, she comes back in and interrupts me while I’m helping other customers. She starts berating me in front of them and shouts at me that no one will refund her. She forcefully puts her phone into my hands and has me speak to the phone representative.

Representative: “Since the charges were legitimate, we cannot refund her.”

The customer keeps shouting at me while I’m talking to this representative, and before I can get more information from them, she snatches her phone out of my hands.

Customer: “F*** this. F*** all of you! We’re going to the bank and cancelling the charges and switching carriers!”

And she abruptly left.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 49

, , , , , , , | Right | February 17, 2022

A woman and her children come in five minutes before we close — we close at midnight, and I am beyond exhausted — to return a bunch of pants that didn’t fit her kids. Apparently, I miss a pair of jeans, so I have to go through and rescan the pile to see which one I missed.

Customer: “Just hand me the jeans and I’ll match up the barcodes from the receipt to see which pair you missed.”

Me: “That won’t work; it will just be easier if I go through and scan them all to see which pair pops up that wasn’t previously returned.”

Customer: “No, no. Let me do it so you won’t accidentally miss the pair again.”

Me: “Ma’am, that won’t work. The UPC numbers on the receipt for whatever reason are different from the ones on the actual tag. You will be here for years, and the numbers will never match up. I’ve worked returns here for two years now and I know this, so please, just let me scan.”

She purses her lips and finally just lets me scan through the jeans once more. I toss the various jeans into different piles once I’m sure they are not the missing pair.

Customer: “Honey, let’s all keep the jeans in one pile in case you mess up again. Being tidy and organized would have saved you some trouble in the first place.”

Me: “The jeans are in different piles because they need to be. Some can be put directly on the floor. Some can be marked down and sold as clearance because they are online-only items. The rest are to be sent back to the warehouse. I need to keep them separate so they don’t get all mixed together and things end up where they are not supposed to. Please just let me finish as I only have a few pairs left.”

I finally scanned the missing pair and returned them. We were probably a few minutes past close by then and I was eager to get them to leave. The woman called her daughters to come to join her, and I saw in horror that they had decided to go clothes shopping and not just wander the store, and they each had a huge pile. Because all the other registers had been closed, I had to check her out. Also, because she paid cash, I had to recount my drawer because it had to have the exact number of bills and change in there noted for the cash office.

I was one of the last people to leave the store that night.

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 47
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 47
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 46
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 45
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 44

Brain Is Out Of Business

, , , | Right | February 10, 2022

Customer: “My wife ordered a refrigerator and I want to cancel it and get a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re going out of business. All sales are final.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?!”

We have signs on the door, every register, each aisle end, and every third appliance, as well as the banner he walked under to enter the store, saying, “Going out of business sale — all sales final.”

No One Wants To Be Trapped On A Boat With You, Anyway

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Sivartius | February 4, 2022

I work for a customer service center, and I take calls for cruise and travel insurance. The company I work for is in no way affiliated with any cruise line; we just contract labor with the insurance company and have no control over the insurance policy or the decision of the claim

It’s been a rough day, as I listen and sympathize with people’s tragedies that are causing them to have to cancel their cruises. Then, just a couple of minutes before my lunch, I get this customer.

I give my greeting in an upbeat and cheerful manner, because I’m good at my job, and part of my job is to be friendly to people even if I’m feeling lousy. I get the info to pull up the customer’s account.

Customer: “Yeah. Finally. I had to cancel my cruise, so I need to get a refund.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that you had to cancel your cruise, but I would be happy to help you. What was the reason that you had to cancel?”

Customer: “The state cancelled my unemployment, so I need to get the money back.”

I should mention that the insurance policies that the people sign say that they can get a full cash refund if they have to cancel for one of the reasons listed in the policy, or if they don’t qualify or don’t want to provide documentation, as long as they paid for the plan in time, they can get a Cancel For Any Reason Cruise Credit equal to 75% of what they paid for the cruise, not including what was paid for the insurance. The most common reason is for a medical emergency, and there are things like terrorist attacks and such. Needless to say, just wanting your money back doesn’t qualify for a cash refund.

I’m thinking I must have misheard her or something, I pause for a second to gather my wits.

Me: “What did you say was the reason you had to cancel?”

Customer: *Sigh* “I paid for this cruise with the money I got from unemployment, but I just got a letter from them saying I won’t be getting any more unemployment money after the end of this month, so I need that money back to pay bills.”

Me: *Baffled* “Ma’am, I do apologize for the inconvenience. The policy that you purchased has two sections. The first one is the Trip Cancellation benefit, which offers a full cash refund in the event—”

Customer: “Yes! That’s the one I need!”

Me: “The first one is the Trip Cancellation benefit, which offers a full cash refund in the event that you have to cancel your trip after you pay for the insurance—”

Customer: “Yes. I told you that is what I need. How soon do I get my money?”

Me: “The first one is the Trip Cancellation benefit, which offers a full cash refund in the event that you have to cancel your trip after you pay for the insurance for one of the reasons listed in the policy. Unfortunately, having your unemployment insurance run out is not one of the reasons listed in—”

Customer:What?! I was told that I could cancel for any reason and get my money back!”

Me: “There is a Cancel For Any Reason Cruise Credit equal to 75% of— ”

Customer:No! I need it all back!

Me: “Ma’am, I do apologize for the inconvenience. Per the policy, the full cash refund, minus what was paid for the insurance, is only available if we can document that the reason you cancelled for is one of the eight specified reasons. Otherwise, there is the Cancel For Any Reason Cruise Credit.”

Customer: “A Cruise Credit?! I don’t need me no Cruise Credit! I need my money back.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the confusion, but the policy says that we only offer a cash refund if you have to cancel for one of the specified reasons. Those reasons are—”

Customer: “So, what are those so-called ‘reasons’?”

Me: “The first reason is for sickness, injury, or death, for yourself, a travelling companion, or members of either of your immediate families, that is diagnosed and—”

Customer: “So, what if I say I’m sick?”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. As part of the claims process, we will need documentation of your sickness from your doctor so we—”

Customer:What?! Those are my private medical records. No way are you getting my private medical records. You have no right to see them.”

Me: “That is, of course, your choice, but the policy does say, ‘Diagnosed and treated by a licensed physician,’ so if we aren’t able to get the medical documentation, we would not be able to offer a cash refund. There is, however, the Cancel For—”

Customer: “Well, if I say that I’m sick, that’s all the ‘documentation’ you’ll receive or have any right to.”

Me: “Well, you’re welcome to submit a claim, but if we can’t receive the medical documentation, we will be unable to provide a cash refund.”

Customer: “But I need that money to pay rent and buy groceries for my kids. Are you saying you want my kids to be starving and homeless?”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. Perhaps you can speak with the Unemployment Office to see what they need to—”

Customer: “I already tried that, and they said they wouldn’t. I need that money.”

Me: “Then perhaps you could see if there are any kind of state or local assistance programs? Or perhaps a local church or charity would be willing to help you?”

Customer: “So, what you’re saying is that you want my kids to be homeless and starving! I didn’t know they were gonna end my unemployment when I paid for this cruise. It’s not my fault!”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear about your financial difficulties. Unfortunately, I can’t change the contract. Perhaps—”

Customer: “No one told me I had to give no reason to get my money back! I shouldn’t have to give no reason why to get my money back. That’s why you buy insurance.”

Me: “I am very sorry for the inconvenience. I am unable to alter the contract or change the reasons listed in—”

Customer: “And what are these ‘reasons’?”

I go through all the reasons listed in the policy, and, surprise, surprise, none of them apply to her. She gets even more upset, screaming even louder.

Customer: “I want to speak with a supervisor since you want my children to starve to death!”

Me: “I’d be happy to get a manager on the line as soon as possible, but they can’t change the policy, either.”

Customer: “Then connect me with someone who can!”

Me: “Any changes in the insurance contract would require the sign-off of the entire legal department, and even then, it would apply to new policies, not ones already signed.”

This is a guess on my part.

Customer: “Fine! Then let me talk to the CEO!”

She says that like I have the CEO on speed dial or something.

Me: “I can submit an escalation to our Executive Team.”

Customer: *Still screeching* “I don’t need no ‘Executive Team’! I didn’t ask you for no ‘Executive Team’. I told you to let me speak with the CEO!”

Me: “The Executive Team is the highest level I have access to, and even there I don’t get to talk to them, just submit escalation requests.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough! I want the CEO’s private cell phone number! I know you have it!”

I don’t.

She kept threatening to call the cruise line and tell them to fire me, but I kept trying to tell her that I don’t work for the cruise line. Eventually, she said she was “gonna sue yo a** and send you to prison,” and hung up.

Being the friendly and helpful person I am, I submitted the escalation, and I made sure to put in the exact details so that if she called in again, people would know what she was up to. And then, I went to lunch, secure in the knowledge that I was most likely never going to hear from her again.

Pet (Store) Peeves

, , , | Right | January 31, 2022

I was working the close shift alone at a pet supply store, and two women came in about a minute before closing. There was nothing I could say; I just had to wait for them to leave so I could close the store.

Me: “Do you ladies need any help?”

Women: “No, thanks.”

They looked at every collar, leash, and harness possible before finally choosing one of each about thirty minutes later. I worked the open shift the next day, and the women were waiting for me already, demanding to return everything they had just purchased — without a receipt or tags, of course.