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One Should Learn From Mistakes So That They Are Not Receipted

, , , | Right | September 16, 2009

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer.)

Customer: “Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”

Me: “Alright, here you go. Have a nice day!”

(About twenty minutes later, the customer comes back.)

Customer: “I bought the wrong figure! I need to make an exchange!”

Me: “All refunds and exchanges are done at Customer Service. Good thing I held on to your receipt!”

(I hand him his receipt and he went to Customer Service. He gets his refund, then comes back to my register with a different toy.)

Customer: “Alright, this was what I wanted to buy! Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”

(This time, I put his receipt in the bag without saying a word.)

Slippery Christmas Ice

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2009

(This occurs two days after Christmas Day at the refunds desk.)

Customer: “These slippers don’t fit! I’ve been the same shoe size for years. It must be these new European sizes; I can’t even get my foot in!”

Me: “That’s no problem, sir. I’ll just refund these and give you a credit note, and then you can go and choose some slippers that fit.”

Customer: “This ruined my Christmas, you know!”

(I take the slippers and examine them for any faults or damage, while the customer continues to rant.)

Me: “Sir, did you remove the tissue paper from the toes before you tried these on?”

Customer: “Oh.”

(Needless to say, the slippers did, in fact, fit. Christmas was saved.)


This story is part of the Christmas Day roundup!

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Do Not Get Hitched, Go Directly To Jail

, , , | Right Romantic | August 25, 2009

Customer: “I’d like to order a cake.”

Me: “All right, what size cake did you want?”

(We go through the details of the cake.)

Me: “And what did you want the cake to say?”

Customer: “Welcome home from jail. Will you marry me?”

Me: “Okay…”

(The next week, the same customer comes back in with the cake.)

Customer: “I’d like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. What is wrong with it?”

Customer: “He said no!”


This story is part of our Proposals roundup!

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Literally Dog Eared

, , , , | Right | August 19, 2009

(A customer hands me really tattered and torn CD.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this CD for another copy. It doesn’t play.

Me: “What on earth have you done with it?”

Customer: “Well, since there obviously was something wrong with the CD, I gave it to my dog to play with. You’re just going to return it, right? So who cares about what condition it’s in?”

Honoring The Memory Of Purchases Gone By

, , , , , | Right | July 31, 2009

(It is the end of my shift, and an elderly woman comes over with two lampshades. They ring in at $3.50, and she pays and takes her bag.)

Customer: “Can I return these if they don’t fit my lamps?”

Me: “Of course. Just hold on to your receipt.”

Customer: “What if I lose them?”

Me: “We can give you store credit.”

Customer: “Oh, no, that won’t do…”

Me: “Well… just hold onto your receipt.”

Customer: “Can I have five receipts? I’ll put one in my wallet, one in my purse, one in my fridge, one in my underwear drawer, and one with my husband’s ashes.”

Me: “…”

(The woman leaves with her five receipts.)

Co-worker: “That was a really important $3.50.”