A lady buys some batteries and comes back to return them because they don’t work. She seems genuine.

Customer: “I bought them yesterday, and the guy helped me put them in my device.”

Me: “Can I have your receipt to do the exchange?”

There’s a barcode at the bottom of the receipt we scan, so we have to put it through the system for stock count and other things. I looked at her receipt and she had bought the batteries seven months prior.

I refused to do the exchange because she had clearly drained the batteries and demanded new ones.

She complained and spent half an hour with our manager. I was surprised how far people would go for a $3 battery.

A customer places a completely burned candle on the counter.

Customer: *Sheepish* “I… uh… need to return this.”

Me: “This candle is used up. Was it defective?”

Customer: “My wife said it didn’t smell.”

Me: “I can smell the residual lavender even now.”

Customer: “She’s pregnant.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t return a non-defective used-up product.”

Customer: “I’m begging you, please it take it back or I can’t go home!”

Related:
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

I was in a shoe shop recently. Browsing the sales, I saw a pair of boots I rather liked, half-price at £35. I tried them on, they seemed fine, and I brought them home.

I wore them out that evening, and one felt a bit strange. When I unzipped them to take them off, I found that they were different sizes: one a thirty-nine and one a thirty-eight.

The next day, I took them back to the shop. The manager refused to exchange them.

Manager: “They were stamped wrongly. They’re actually the same size.”

He tried to prove it by lining up the heels and soles and saying they matched.

Me: “So, why does one feel tight and the other doesn’t?”

Manager: “Well, your feet must be different sizes.”

Me: “Then every other pair of shoes I’ve had in my life has been wrong and yours are right?”

Manager: “Yes. I’m not going to exchange them; there’s nothing wrong with them.”

I told a few customers in the shop what was going on and they started to leave. To shut me up, the manager gave me the number of his head office, which I went home and called. The owner said he would ring the shop and tell the manager to give me new boots, an exchange, or a refund, whichever I wanted.

I went back and told the manager I didn’t want the boots anymore; I wanted a refund. He gave me a refund — of £70, the original price.

I didn’t tell him; he should not have argued with me.

Customer: “I bought these from you and I need to return them.”

She places some bras on my counter. They seem very… used.

Me: “When did you buy them?”

Customer: “2009.”

Blink.

Me: “Why do you want to return them?”

Customer: “Because I noticed I wasn’t wearing them that often anymore.”

No s***!

She ended up calling corporate (using our phone) because we would not let her return her items or exchange them for full-priced ones.

Customer: “This scooter I got from you guys is broken!”

Me: “How is it broken, ma’am?”

Customer: “No matter how hard I try, the handlebars always turn. This is a safety risk because my kid could ride into the curb or something!”

Me: “The handlebars are supposed to turn. That’s how the scooter… well… turns.”

Customer: “Not acceptable! I’m returning it!”

She returned the scooter and then went looking for another scooter that wasn’t “broken.” I’m assuming that she was very disappointed.