A Tour Of The Mind Of An Angry Customer

, , , , , , | Right | April 7, 2020

(A customer is upset because her child isn’t able to participate in a program because of an age restriction. She is mad and feels that she was given incorrect information, and she is yelling at me about it as I try to figure out the situation.)

Me: “Okay, we can go ahead and issue a refund since it sounds like there was some confusion when you purchased your tickets.”

Customer: *yelling* “And I suppose it will take several days for the refund to go through? How long will it be until I get my money?”

Me: “It can take three to five business days for the refund to process.”

Customer: *still yelling* “So, they can’t go on the tour and now I can’t get my money for three to five days. So, I’m just out that money for the next three days?!”

Me: *in my head* “Weren’t you going to be out that money forever if they went on the tour?”

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Watch How You Are Tree-ted

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2020

(A woman came in yesterday telling us that she had a tree that died that she wanted to return. Our head cashier and acting manager said that we would accept a return and give her 50% back so long as she had the receipt and the tree, and that it was within one year of the purchase, because it’s our policy.

I am called to the register today because the lady has come in and is causing a scene, and the management in that day is different from yesterday’s.)

Manager: “[My Name], what did [Other Manager] say about this nice woman’s return?”

Me: “One year, 50% back if you have the tree and receipt. Why?”

(The customer has her daughter with her, who has named and taken care of the tree.)

Customer: “That is not what she said! She said I would get 100% back!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sure she didn’t; she’s our head cashier and she’s been working here since I made our policy.”

(He points to the placard on the wall with said policy on it.)

Manager: “It’s even right here.”

Customer: “I know what she said! You guys are trying to rip me off.”

Manager: “Okay, give me a second.”

(He calls our head cashier — even though it’s her day off — and hands the phone to the woman, who only gets even more disgruntled and then turns to me.)

Me: “She may have said we’d take care of things 100%. She says things like that.”

Manager: “That’s true. Ma’am, how can we help you out with this?”

Customer: “Well, I want 100% back! I’ve been attacked since I walked up here!”

(She turns to her daughter who is staring intently at the ground.)

Customer: “Hasn’t he been attacking me?”

(The daughter shrugs and my manager, who has been amazingly calm the whole time, stands aghast and excuses himself. Another cashier takes over.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you at least like me to dispose of the dead tree for you?”

Customer: No! I don’t know if I want to do business with you yet!”

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Unable To Iron Out The Problems With That Thinking

, , , , , | Right | April 2, 2020

(I work for a multinational clothing chain. The customer’s daughter purchased a jacket in the UK and went back home to Tenerife where she lives. She discovered that the security tag was still on it.

The annoyed daughter demands some kind of compensation for the hassle as she needs to take the jacket to the store in Tenerife to remove the tag and is really unhappy about the whole situation. Her mother has called to complain and was asked to send the receipt in.)

Me: “Good morning, and welcome to [Chain]. How can we help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I need to speak to [Manager]; she’s a manager there. I’m supposed to send her a copy of my receipt but I’ve done a very stupid thing… I’ve ironed it and now it’s black and burnt!”

Me: “You’ve ironed it?!”

Customer: “It was all crinkled up! I wanted it to be smooth when I took a picture of it!”

Me: “Well… uh… okay, let me speak to [Manager]. What’s your name?”

Customer: “[Customer].”

(I give the manager a quick call.)

Me: “Hi, [Manager], I have a customer who was meant to send a receipt in to you. She’s called [Customer].”

Manager: “Oh, yes, she said that her daughter bought a jacket, but the tag was still on it; she says her daughter is unable to take the jacket back to the store in Tenerife as she is not close to the store and her daughter does not have the receipt with her to prove she has bought it, but [Customer] does. She was really, really unhappy about it, so I advised that she scan us a copy of the receipt and we would look into it further and maybe get a gift card for the value of the coat to be sent out. I said that we would only do this if she provided us with proof of purchase though, as it’s a goodwill gesture.”

Me: “Oh, well, funnily enough… She wanted to let you know that she is so dumb, she has… ahem… ironed her receipt you asked her to send in and it’s now all black and burnt.”

Manager: “Ha! What an idiot! I was being nice offering her that, anyway; I normally wouldn’t have! What a fool. Okay, well, we can’t help her without a receipt. It was a goodwill gesture but on the condition that she sends that in. Nothing we can do without it!”

Me: *laughs* “Okay, well, I shall enjoy telling her!”

(I take a deep breath and try to control my laughter and feign sympathy.)

Me: “Hi. [Customer], I’ve just spoken to [Manager] and I’m really sorry, but she says that without the receipt, we’re not able to take this further, I’m afraid.”

Customer: What?! But that jacket is £80! It’s not our fault your store left the tag on!”

Me: “I know and I’m really sorry about that, but unfortunately, we’re now unable to help any further, as we cannot see on our records how much the jacket was or when it was purchased.”

Customer: “Well, I’m very disappointed; you’ve just lost a customer!” *click*

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Action Disfigures

, , , , , | Right | March 30, 2020

A few years ago, I got a temp job in customer services for a large toy retailer. This company has pretty strict return policies and it’s standard procedure to ask for photos if a customer claims an item is damaged. 

I’ve only been there a few days when I get a customer email claiming some action figures broke into small pieces. I send our script response apologising and asking for photos. When I get a reply, I open the photo but something seems off and I call my colleague to take a look. The more we look, the more obvious it is; the photo is very clearly faked! It wasn’t even done well. 

In the end, my supervisor tells me to just follow our script and tell him to return it for a refund as we can’t accuse him outright of lying. The customer tries to claim that he has thrown away the figures as they were a choking hazard to his kid. He gives up once I say there is nothing we can do without returning the item. 

Out of curiosity, I look up how much the figures are worth. He went to all the trouble of faking the photos for the sake of £15 worth of action figures.

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Should Ink Before You Speak

, , , | Right | March 27, 2020

I used to work for an office supply store a few years ago. This has always been one of the most amusing and confusing things that happened to me there.

I was working the register when a man came in with his young daughter. He was carrying a decently large box full of printer ink and wanted to return it all. Now, printer ink is expensive enough that we are extra cautious with returns — it can’t be open, etc. — but for any kind of returns at this store, we need a receipt. I asked him for one and he said he didn’t have one.

After some back and forth and attempting to explain that I couldn’t make the return without a receipt, I expected the next step to be him angrily demanding to see my manager, who also would have refused to return multiple hundreds of dollars’ worth of ink with no proof of purchase. Instead, he picked up the box and told his daughter they were leaving. 

Over his shoulder, as he went out the door, he told me, “If you won’t let me return this here, I’ll just go return it to [Competitor Store]!”

I’m still confused as to why he thought that was a good final word to have in this.

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