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Let’s Hope He’s Better At Videogames Than He Is At Trying To Intimidate Employees

, , , | Right | December 11, 2021

Customer: “I need to return this.”

Me: “Can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have one, but it was $300.”

After checking his item (a home arcade cabinet) I can say that we’ve never had it in stock.

Customer: *Intimidating.* “You will be refunding me!”

I’m 5’3 and 21 years old so he thinks he can intimidate me, but…

Me: “Unlucky for you, sir, I am the assistant manager and I have worked all the way through [Health Crisis]. Nothing can faze me anymore.”

He did not expect that… or get his refund!

The Sale Is Final But The Calls Are Not

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2021

I get a call and look up the customer’s purchase.

Customer: “Hello, I have a problem. My young son has, like, a mental problem, something wrong with him, but anyway, he made that purchase playing around on the computer because he didn’t realize what he was doing. Can you cancel it?”

Our system has a two-step verification system; when you make a purchase, we send a code to your mobile phone number that you will need to enter that verifies it is indeed you. I’m already detecting the BS.

Me: “One moment, please.”

I place the customer on hold. I read through the previous notes from different agents.

Note: “Called and said he found the same product with another company and asked us to match the price. Was told that we could not do this. Customer asked to cancel the purchase, was told that this particular sale was final, as was clearly stated on the website during the purchase.”

Note: *Timestamp, thirty minutes later* “Called and said he would not be able to attend the event; all three of his children were seriously sick. Asked for a refund. No refund possible in consideration of the previous contact that occurred only thirty minutes earlier.”

Note: *Timestamp, two hours later* “Called and said his mother had passed away, would not be able to attend event. Asked for a refund. Refund denied.”

Note: *Timestamp, one hour later* “Called and said someone had been using his credit card without permission and made the purchase. He was told that since this was a complaint involving credit card fraud that he would most likely need to do a chargeback with his credit card company, who would need for him to make a police report. He was further told that we would provide relevant information to assist in the criminal investigation. Customer hung up.”

We were already understaffed as it was, and customers who are kept on hold too long or hang up while on hold because of bozos like this are marked negatively on our team score sheet. This needed to be stopped.

Me: “Thank you for holding, [Customer]. Sir, we cannot refund this purchase or match the price of any competitor. THIS SALE IS FINAL. I’m sorry, but this is not anything that can be negotiated.”

Customer: “I told you, my son is mentally handicapped—”

Me: “This sale is final, [Customer].”

Customer: “I want the manager!”

Me: “This sale is final.”

Customer: “I can make a big deal out of this, you know! I’ll personally write the CEO and the board of directors!”

Me: “You’re welcome to approach this however you see fit. But this sale is final. Do you have any other questions that do not involve the cancellation of this purchase?”

Customer: “I’ve been recording this call, just to let you know—”

Me: *Immediately hangs up*

The following day, I checked the customer profile just to make sure he didn’t cause the team any further stress. He hadn’t called back, but I noticed after reviewing his purchase history that his family seemed to be “cursed”; his mother died three times, his children have either had cancer treatment or been in serious car accidents, his wife died twice, he was hospitalized after a serious accident…

A Cereal Killer Of Returns

, , , , | Right | December 7, 2021

I work for a local family-owned grocery store, working at the service desk, the only place where returns can be processed. A man comes in the door and approaches me carrying a box of raisin cereal. He holds the box up.

Customer: “Can I return this?”

For health reasons, we currently have a no-return policy once something goes out the door, so I advise him as such, apologetically.

Customer: “Then, can I exchange it?”

Me: “Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Well, no. I bought it a week ago.”

Me: “Sir, what was unsatisfactory about it that you want to exchange it?”

Customer: “There weren’t enough raisins. There were only like five in the whole box!”

Me: “Sir, how did you determine how many raisins were in the box?”

Customer: “My wife and kids poured it out into bowls and found out when we ate it.”

The customer tips the box over and shakes it out in front of me to show it’s empty. The bag isn’t even in it.

Me: “Soooo, you already ate it?”

He responds completely matter-of-factly and in a slightly irritated tone.

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Wait, so you want us to dispose of your empty box, and then you want a box of cereal for free?”

He looks at me puzzled.

Customer: “Well, yeah. There were barely any raisins in it.”

Me: “Sir, this would be a manufacturer complaint, but my manager is right here. Let me just double-check.”

She heard everything and shakes her head and mouths “noooo” to me.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we aren’t in the practice of giving away free product except when donating to local events or charities, but you can contact the manufacturer and see if you have better luck. I hope you have a good day.”

He walked away grumbling and shaking his head, realizing his attempt at getting free stuff had failed miserably.

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 13

, , , , | Right | December 6, 2021

My mom and I are next in line to order bagel sandwiches at a popular bagel shop for lunch. A lady walks in with a bag from the shop and goes straight to the counter.

Customer: “I have a complaint.”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “You guys messed up on our order from this morning.”

Manager: “I’m sorry about that. Do you mind letting me know what was wrong?”

Customer: “You put the lox on the wrong bagels and gave us bagels we didn’t even order.”

Manager: “I’m really sorry. It looks like you brought the food back. We can remake it for you.”

Customer: “The one thing in here is a bagel we didn’t order that no one wanted. We ate everything else, and I didn’t have time to come back. I don’t want the food remade.”

Manager: “I can offer you a refund for the bagels we messed up on.”

Customer: “What about the ones you gave us that we didn’t order?”

Manager: “Consider them on the house.”

Customer: “So you won’t give me a refund for those?”

Manager: “Well, since you did eat them and didn’t pay for those ones, no.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. You messed up on our order and won’t do anything about it?”

Manager: “We can remake the bagels we messed up on or we can give you a refund for those ones.”

Customer: “Forget it. You gave us bagels that we didn’t even ask for and now you’re not going to do anything about it.”

She storms out of the shop.

Me: “Did she really just complain about free food?”

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 12
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 11
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 10
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 9
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 8

The Husband And Wife Do Not Make A Good Crossfit

, , , , , | Right | December 3, 2021

A woman comes in with a return. At first glance, it’s no big deal, just coming in to return a shirt. She hands me the receipt to start processing and we exchange a pleasant greeting.

I take the shirt out of the bag to examine it and it is beyond disgusting. There are brown sweat stains all over it, from the pits to the stomach to the shoulder. It looks like whoever wore it rolled in mud or some nonsense.

Me: “I cannot return the product because it has clearly been used, and only unused and re-sellable items can be returned.”

Customer: “That’s a lie!”

I hold up the shirt and point to the brown pit stains.

Me: “Can’t you see these stains?”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

I am the manager and I’m not budging! After several minutes of complaining, she finally leaves.

Customer: “I’ll be complaining to corporate and getting you fired!”

Fast forward a few days. A guy walked into the store, found the first store associate he could, and immediately asked for me by name. Uh-oh, here we go again. My associate brought the guy over to where I was standing, and I politely greeted him.

The guy spent the next ten minutes apologizing for his crazy wife verbally abusing my staff and me a few days prior. Apparently, the guy went to the beach and did some type of CrossFit training class IN THE SAND. His wife knew all of this; she was at the class with him! The guy ended up not liking the shirt for some reason and his wife thought she could pull a fast one on us by making a scene.