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If You Don’t Like The Story, Blame The Author, Not The Bookstore!

, , , , | Right | July 5, 2023

Customer: “I want to return this book.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this book has very clearly been read, and probably more than once by the look of things!”

The book has a broken spine, some folded pages, etc.

Customer: “It’s okay to read something once and then return it if you didn’t like it! It’s like keeping the tags on a nice dress!”

Me: “Well… you probably shouldn’t do that with a dress, either, but even if you did you wouldn’t be able to return the dress if you’d worn it enough times for it to have some wear and tear.”

In an example of “that escalated quickly” she immediately throws the book on the floor and storms off — but weirdly pauses to check out the new releases before she leaves.

If You’re Going To Scam A Return, At Least Return It To The Correct Store

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2023

Customer: “I need to return this set of cordless phones. They stopped working for some reason.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “It’s just that your item is in a Walmart bag, and the phone has a Best Buy sticker on it.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “This is neither Best Buy nor Walmart.”

Customer: “I got it here!”

After not being able to find his receipt under his phone number, our bonus card, or his credit card, I ask:

Me: “Are you sure you bought it here?”

Customer: *Offended* “Stop trying to get out of the return! Of course I did; I’m not an idiot.”

Then, I point out the Best Buy sticker again in the nicest way I can.

Me: “I can’t return this without a receipt, but maybe Best Buy will take it?”

Customer: “I didn’t put that sticker on there! Why did you guys put it on?”

I honestly had no response; my brain stopped for a second as I tried to understand his point of view.

With Refunds, Some Customers Are Clearly Wingin’ It

, , , | Right | June 24, 2023

I was working at the supermarket and a man came in with a complaint about a mixed 1-kg pack with a random assortment of wings, drumsticks, etc.

Customer: “I bought a pack of chicken, and I wasn’t happy with it. It tasted good and all, but it didn’t have enough wings.”

I thought that was one of the dumbest complaints I had ever heard, but I don’t get paid enough to care.

Me: “Oh, no. Were you after a refund?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

Me: “Okay. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you pay with a card? We might be able to look up the receipt in our system.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you remember the date and time you came in roughly?”

Customer: “No, it was sometime last week.”

Me: “Well, do you even have the chicken here?”

Customer: “No, I ate it.”

Me: “Do you have the empty packet?”

Customer: “No, I took a photo of it, though.”

He showed me a photo of the chicken on his phone. I had to call my manager for backup because the man wanted a refund for an item that he DID NOT BRING INTO THE STORE, HAD ALREADY EATEN, AND DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE RECEIPT FOR. The food wasn’t even BAD; he just thought it should have more wings!

My manager offered him a different packet of chicken for free as compensation, and he was happy with that.

I couldn’t believe it, but oh, well. At least he wasn’t angry about it!

Not Worth Getting Shirty Over It

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: gluttonara | June 20, 2023

Things are really picking up during seasonal time, and there’s just a cashier, my manager on duty, and me working. Since our store needs to always have a worker on the sales floor, I am left to deal with a steady line by myself. This is not too bad. I just apologize, explain that we’re unstaffed, and thank them for waiting.

That is until this lady comes up with a long receipt.

Customer: “I bought all these T-shirts, and I want to return them and apply my teacher’s discount to them.”

Our store has special discounts, and a discount for teachers is one of them. I look to see if she has a bag or anything.

Me: “Do you have the shirts with you, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, they’re all at my house.”

I can still do a return since she has the receipt and all she is doing is applying her discount on it, but since she doesn’t have the shirts, the way our system works, I’ll have to key in each UPC code for each shirt. Luckily, I can make it go faster by grouping the same codes for shirts together, but it is still a long receipt with twenty to thirty shirts, and the line is piling up, so I radio [Manager] and ask her if there is an easier way I can do this, and she says that, sadly, this is the only way to do it.

I warn the customer that I have to key in all these UPC codes to do a return on the shirts and then they will have to be repurchased, and she says that’s okay. The line is getting so long that [Manager] decides to just screw it and jump on a register because this return and repurchase will take forever.

I start to key in UPCs, using my quantity code to make it faster for the same size and colour of shirts she bought.

Customer: “So, how long is this going to take? I’m in a rush. Do you really have to key all those in?”

Me: “Yes. Since you don’t have the shirts here for me to actually scan, sadly, I have to type in all the codes for them.”

Customer: “And how do I repurchase them? Do you have to do all that again?”

Me: “Yes, I do, unfortunately.”

She is getting very irritable, and it is actually time for me to go since the closing crew had arrived, but they are jumping on other registers to get the line taken care of so [Manager] can get off the register. I ask if someone can take over, but all the closers are new seasonal hires and they had no clue how to do a return like this, so I have to truck on.

Customer: *Getting frustrated* “I don’t have all day to stand here waiting for you to put in all these codes! When I go to [Other Store], they can do returns without having to have the product physically there! I’m not dragging all these shirts around with me!”

I get on my radio and ask for [Manager] to come over.

Manager: “What’s up?”

Customer: “I don’t have all day for her to be putting in all these codes just so I can get my discount applied on them. I don’t drag my shirts around with me; I have them at home! I’m in a hurry! I can’t stand here all day wasting my time with this.”

Manager: “Since you don’t have the shirts here for her to scan, this is the only way she can do it. Also, she has to go home.” *Turns to me* “What did you get keyed in?”

Me: “Anything I have highlighted here I have keyed in.”

I handed [Manager] the customer’s receipt and quickly left to clock out.

I felt bad that [Manager] had to deal with this return, but I was fighting back the urge to say, “Well, we’re not [Other Store]”. Also, I don’t know why you would make yourself pressed for time when you’re returning a crap ton of product and don’t bother bringing the product in to make it easier. Even just bringing one of each shirt she’d bought would have been easier!

Never Was There A Tale Of More Woe…

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 20, 2023

It is 1996, and our movie theater is showing “Romeo + Juliet”, which is a big hit, especially among teenage girls. I am cleaning the box office when two teens come out of the screening.

Teen #1: “We need a refund.”

Me: “Is there something wrong with the movie?”

Teen #2: “We just don’t get it.”

Me: “What don’t you get?”

Teen #1: “All of it! They’re speaking English and stuff, but none of it makes any sense!”

Me: “Oh, I see. They’re speaking Shakespearean English, so it might be a little hard to follow.”

Teen #2: “What’s Shakespearean English?”

Me: “It’s the style of English that Shakespeare wrote it in.”

Blank looks.

Me: “Like… old English. From England a long time ago.”

Teen #1: *Turning to her friend* “Ugh! You took us to go see an English movie!”

Teen #2: “I didn’t know! It’s got Leonardo DiCaprio in it! I didn’t know he was English!

Me: “Let me get you that refund, ladies.”