A customer bought some stuff with a check. The next day, he came back and pulled four items off the shelf that were identical to what he’d bought. Then, he tried to return them with his receipt.
Even if he hadn’t tried to scam us, we couldn’t return his money. The check hadn’t even gone to the bank yet, let alone cleared.
This happened in the summer of 2015. Two customers entered the store wishing to return an item that was worth several hundred dollars.
Cashier: “May I see your receipt, please?”
When they handed it to the cashier, she looked at the date.
It was dated several months before, in March, so it was beyond the return window. I don’t know if these customers thought they could somehow beat the system; in the 2015 part of the date, they changed the five to a six with a pen. That would make the purchase date the next year.
Cashier: “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to do this return.”
The customers got rather angry.
Customers: “We’re returning it in time, so we want our money back!”
This cashier had quite the personality, so she pointed at the receipt and said:
Cashier: “Well, according to this receipt, this item hasn’t been purchased yet. The date is 2016.”
The customers angrily snatched their receipt and item back, yelling that they’d make a complaint as they left the store.
Nothing was ever heard from the customers again. They probably took their Time Machine back home.
If one of our customers has a credit on their account due to returning an order or whatever, we don’t use that credit for paying future orders automatically. For every person who’s asked for this, we’ve had ten customers telling us no, they’ll apply it themselves when they want to. Apparently, some folks just want piles of money sitting there doing nothing
This particular customer takes the cake, though. The conversation happens entirely through emails, usually with us having to research various things before answering.
Customer: “I have credit on my account. Use that for this order.”
Me: “Unfortunately, because you didn’t tell us to use your credit, this order was already charged to the card you selected.”
Customer: “I shouldn’t have to. Switch it to my credit.”
Me: “When you placed your order, it gave you the option to use the monies on your account; because you instead selected to use a credit card, and made no notes or indication to use your credit, we used the payment method you selected.”
Customer: “That’s too much work! Just apply this to my invoice.”
Me: “Your invoice is already completed. Your credit card was charged at the time this order shipped, which was two days ago. As this was not our error, if we try to reverse charges now and fees get taken out, you will not get all of your money back.”
Customer: “How dare you take my money from me?! Refund all of it now! I’m calling the cops!”
Me: “While we are sorry for an inconvenience, the only way we can apply your credits is when you indicate for us to do so. If you select ‘Credit Card’ when placing your order, and do not include any notes or fill a Credit Allocation Form, then your card will be charged. This credit will remain on your account until you select it to be used for an order.”
Customer: “I want every dime on my account sent back to me immediately! I want the account closed, and I’m never ordering through your company again!”
The request was sent off and their account was cleared out.
We’re the exclusive distributors of the majority of products they purchased from us. After a month of having to buy from other retailers to fulfill their orders, they came back and reopened the account with us. We very politely included the “new reseller” package of information and highlighted the video tutorial on how to use the website!
Our entire retail chain is sadly closing down, and everyone is losing their jobs. As a result, we’re having liquidation sales, which are by their very nature super cheap and super non-refundable.
Customer: “I need a return on this item.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as [Company] is being liquidated we’re not able to offer any returns on any of our items.”
Customer: “Well maybe if your customer service was better, you wouldn’t all be losing your jobs. Get me your manager!”
I sigh and get my manager, as I am already over it. My manager approaches and explains the same thing several times, before she explodes in anger:
Customer: “I’m going to call the news about the disgusting service here! I’m going to go online and make sure everyone knows what kind of company this is!”
Manager: “Several thousand people are about to lose their jobs and this store won’t even be here in a couple of weeks. What exactly is all that going to accomplish other than making you seem like a b***h?”
Customer: “Right! That’s it; I want your manager now!”
The store manager is now summoned, and the customer immediately relates everything… again.
Customer: “And then he called me a b***h!”
The store manager looks at me, then at the manager, and then at the customer.
Store Manager: “Well, have you tried not being a b***h?”
This story is part of the Highest-Voted-Stories Of-2023 roundup!
Read the next story!
Read the roundup!
Customer: “I want to return this book.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this book has very clearly been read, and probably more than once by the look of things!”
The book has a broken spine, some folded pages, etc.
Customer: “It’s okay to read something once and then return it if you didn’t like it! It’s like keeping the tags on a nice dress!”
Me: “Well… you probably shouldn’t do that with a dress, either, but even if you did you wouldn’t be able to return the dress if you’d worn it enough times for it to have some wear and tear.”
In an example of “that escalated quickly” she immediately throws the book on the floor and storms off — but weirdly pauses to check out the new releases before she leaves.
