Open-Minded About Being Closed

, , , , | Right | September 15, 2017

(I work at a store that stays open until 10 pm each night. On this day, it’s around 9:58 pm, my manager and I are the only ones still in the store, we’ve cleaned up, and we are walking to lock the front door, keys in hand, when a car pulls into a space outside and an entire family gets out and runs up to the door.)

Father: “Wait! Wait! Are you still open?”

(I look at my manager who, to my annoyance, just shrugs.)

Manager: “Technically, yes, we are.”

Father: “Great! We only need a few things!”

(Unable to do anything now, we let them in and watch as their kids begin destroying the aisles we have just organized while the parents take their time grabbing things and tossing them into a hand basket. Some time later, they come up to the register, which my manager has reopened for them. I’m bagging.)

Father: “So, when do you guys normally close?”

Manager: “We actually are closed now.”

Father: “What!? That’s impossible! You said you weren’t closed when we came in!”

Manager: “That’s because you came in just before 10 pm, when we do close.”

(The father gives us both a blank look.)

Manager: “You’ve been in here for almost 30 minutes.”

(More blank looks.)

Mother: “Honey, time doesn’t stop while you’re in here.”

(Another moment passes as the father looks at his wife, the clock on his phone, then at the manager in shocked silence.)

Father: “Well… why didn’t you say that before we came in? If I’d known that, we’d have gone to a different store!”

(He grumbles as we ring up his purchases and his wife corrals their kids, getting in a final jab as they leave.)

Father: “Next time just tell us to go elsewhere!”

Manager: “…but I was trying to AVOID that very argument!”

You’ve Been Brandied A Problem Customer

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work at a small local store that specializes in multiple types of gourmet booze [which basically translates to any brand and type you wouldn’t find in a normal grocery store]. One day I get that customer we all know and love: a barely 20-something-year-old with no ID, who can’t understand why we won’t sell any booze to him. He gets verbal, but after my manager steps in and basically tells him to either produce ID or talk to the police, the guy leaves. Fast forward to my shift the next day.)

Customer: “Bottle of [Expensive Brandy] please.”

(I look up and am taken aback to see it’s the same guy again.)

Me: “Do you have your ID this time?”

Customer: “It’s in my car. What do you mean ‘this time’?”

Me: “Sir, we went over this yesterday. If we think you’re underage, we need to see your ID.”

Customer: “…D*** it, I didn’t think you were smart enough to remember me!”

(He storms out and my shift continues without further drama. Fast forward to next weekend and…)

Customer: “Hey, you got any [Same Expensive Brandy] in?”

(Yep, same guy, except this time he’s wearing a hat that’s pulled down low to shadow his face.)

Me: “That depends; do you have your ID with you this time?”

Customer: “I’ve never been in here before!”

Me: “Sir, you spoke to me less than seven days ago.”

Customer: “…you still remember that?”

Me: “It’s hard to forget you when you keep coming in here and trying the same thing, over and over again. Not to mention that, even if I didn’t, the rules aren’t going to change. You want your brandy, you need ID.”

(More cursing and swearing as the guy stormed out again. Later on the store owner got a complaint letter saying he needed to fire the “smart-a**es who keep ruining everyone’s weekend.”)