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You Have To Behave Like An Adult To Shop Here

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: 420sealions | December 7, 2020

I work in an adult store. The stories I could tell just from my year here could fill a book, particularly because I work in a rather “methy” small town in Canada. I also work late shifts most nights so, it gets interesting.

I’m incredibly upbeat and cheery; that’s just naturally how I am and it works great to deescalate situations. So, imagine me genuinely smiling and being helpful through all this.

One night, I have two fine glossy-eyed specimens enter my store. They set off a few retail red flags immediately, so I keep an eye out but offer my assistance and don’t bother them while they look around. Everything in my store is under a magnet lock so I have to come over and unlock whatever product they want off the hook. They ask me to come and grab a few items off the wall and put them behind the counter while they continue to browse.

As I head back to the counter, I hear a tell-tale cardboard rip noise and see that the lady has ripped a box of lingerie off the hook and is examining it — while swaying drunkenly, mind you. I walk over.

Me: *Gently* “Can I have that, please? That way I can tape the box back up, since the box is all mangled.”

As I’m turning around to do this, she rips off another one.

I turn back around.

Me: *Calmly* “Hey, could you just be careful not to rip the merchandise off? I can grab anything if you want to look at it.”

Woman: *Slurring* “I’m sorry! I was just trying to see the back.”

Me: “It’s not an issue.”

It’s probably just heavy, drunk hands. So, I take both items back behind the counter to fix.

As I do this, the drunk husband walks up to the counter and raises his voice at me as his wife continues to look around.

Husband: “We’re not spending any more f****** money here. We would, but we don’t want to buy anything else from you.”

Me: “Because I asked her very nicely to be careful with the products?”

Husband: “IT’S NOT LIKE SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE! I’m coming back tomorrow to speak to your boss!”

Me: “Okay, for sure, feel free! I’m just doing my job, making sure stuff doesn’t get damaged. Anything else I can help you with?”

My boss will honestly probably tell the guy to f*** off.

Husband: “NO. We’re leaving.”

The woman is looking intently at the wall of vibrators.

Woman: “Wait, hold on. I like this one.”

Husband: “Babe, let’s go. We’re f****** leaving. Now.

Woman: “Wait!”

Husband: *Practically screaming* “NO! NOW!”

Me: “Can I help you choose from any of those?”

Husband: “I SAID WE’RE F****** GOING NOW!”

Woman: “One more minute. Does this one recharge?”

Me: *With a smile* “No, not that one! But I do have this one over here that’s 40% off and is rechargeable.”

Woman: “It comes in pink?”

Me: “Yup, right here!”

Woman: “And it’s waterproof?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Woman: “Yeah, I’ll take that!”

The husband stood with his arms crossed and brows furrowed while I grabbed the products for them, and then he had to fork over $350 for all the stuff they grabbed. I happily bagged it all and asked all the basic questions, followed up by my best wishes for a lovely evening. And I smiled because he didn’t say another word, and I make commission.

My boss messaged me later to let me know that if the dude calls and tries to complain, he’ll be asked kindly not to shop at our stores anymore. My boss doesn’t put up with abuse of his staff and that’s why I love him.

Oh, and I took down the guy’s license plate and gave 911 a little tip that there was a possible drunk guy in a big truck who had just left the shop.

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I Mask Ask You To Leave

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: LoveManta | December 7, 2020

I am the youngest manager and bartender at our whiskey, craft beer, and cigar bar; I’m almost twenty-five. I get surprised looks sometimes when I talk to customers about whiskey, but nearly no one looks down on me, and I take my work with pride. Sometimes, I can even joke that the best whiskey is older than I am.

An older gentleman comes in right when we open one Friday.

Me: “Do you have a mask on you?”

Gentleman: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but due to our policy, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

He seems like a good sport, but when he turn around, he murmurs:

Gentleman: “I’ve been coming in here since before you were born.”

I started as a server right after the restaurant opened. I may be young, but I’m not four years old, sir.

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Some People Really Have Nothing Better To Do

, , , | Right | CREDIT: MsD4nnyHuntress | December 6, 2020

About five years ago, I am visiting a well-known book and stationery store in my local mall. I used to work here, so I am familiar with how their system works.

I am waiting in line to pay for a card and gift wrap. A customer in her forties is in front of me, arguing with the boy at the register — in his late teens or early twenties — because she wants to know if they have a book in stock. The book is in stock but only available when ordered from the online store, as it is old and no longer being sold in-store. So, this lady will need to purchase it herself, online.

When ordering from this company’s online store, it will be shipped to the address of your choice via courier. Of course, this comes with additional shipping costs. This woman, however, seems to think this means he can order the book in and she can pick it up the next day. That is not the case, as the stores, while operating under the same company name, are completely different.

Thus, the argument begins.

Customer: “Well, can’t you just order it in?”

Sales Assistant: “Sorry, our system doesn’t allow us to do that.”

Customer: “Yes, it does. I’ve done it before.”

Sales Assistant: “Sorry, since the company is under new ownership, all stores are separate now, including the online store.”

Customer: “It’s the same company; you’re just being lazy.”

Sales Assistant: “Sorry, you will need to order it yourself online.”

They go back and forth a couple of times before I spoke up.

Me: “He’s right; that’s not how the system works.”

The customer turns and glares at me.

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “No, but I did work here a year ago. That’s how I know how the system works.”

Customer: “But you work in the mall.”

She then proceeds to look over my clothes for a name tag or uniform logo.

Me: “Nope. Nice try, though.”

I unzip my jacket so she can get a better look at my civies.

Customer: “Well, where do you work?”

Me: “That’s literally none of your business.”

Customer: “Yes, it is my business; your employer should know how you behave in public.”

Me: “Actually, that’s not how the world works, lady.”

I can see the rage building inside her as she realizes she has no power over me. I, too, notice that I am in a unique position where I can call this lady out for basically being a butthole and there’s nothing she can do about it… or so I think.

Customer: *Looking smug* “Well, you probably don’t even have a job.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m not falling for that.”

She is obviously trying to bait me into telling her.

Me: “You can think what you want, lady, but at the end of the day, I’m not the pathetic person whose only sense of control in the world is threatening a person’s livelihood to get what they want. You know you’re a s***ty person, right?”

The woman storms off, absolutely fuming.

I then pay for my card and gift wrap while having a laugh with the sales assistant at the register about what just happened.

Now, you would think this is the end of my encounter with this customer, but oh, no. She still thought I worked in the mall. As I left the store, I stopped and got a coffee from the small kiosk cafe just outside. I noticed [Customer] watching me. And I s*** you not, this psycho continued to follow me into every single store I entered and ask the person behind the register if I worked there. At this point, I felt that I couldn’t go back to my car, because she would see my license plate numbers and be able to look up my information, and then Facebook-stalk me or something. I ended up calling a taxi and going to see my dad who lived about ten minutes up the road, and I got him to take me back to my car an hour later.

If that customer hadn’t turned feral the moment that I spoke to her, there was a way the store could have ordered the book for her. They aren’t supposed to do this, but when I worked there, I would often do it for nice older people who weren’t comfortable with online shopping. Keyword: NICE. Her loss.

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Making Hard Times WAY Harder

, , , | Right | CREDIT: texaspoontappa1718 | December 5, 2020

I work at a very popular pizza place. Ever since the health crisis started, we’ve been super busy, as we are the only food place with regular hours in my town. We’ve also been understaffed up until recently, so a big chunk of our staff is new. Right now, we have a deal for 50% off all pizzas. All of these things added together means that our wait times are a little longer than normal, but still in a reasonable thirty-five- to fifty-minute time frame on our bad days.

It’s a Friday night, mid-dinner rush. This lady approaches the front and gives her name.

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my order.”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s not ready yet.”

She’s annoyed but understands and waits. About five minutes later:

Customer: “Is my food ready yet?”

Coworker #1: “I’m so sorry, but no. It’s still being made. We’re very busy right now, and we’re understaffed. I can offer you some coupons to make up for the delay.”

Customer: “I don’t want any coupons. I just want my food.”

She starts complaining to everyone in the lobby.

Customer: “I put my order in an hour and a half ago, and my food is still not ready!”

That’s actually impossible; none of our orders are that old. Most of the other customers don’t pay attention because they understand that we are understaffed and busy.

Not much time passes before she comes back up to the front and starts swearing at my coworker.

Coworker #1: “We just put it in now; it will be ready in less than ten minutes.”

We even put her pizza in before a few other orders, I might add.

The customer continues to swear. My coworker walks away so she can actually help some other customers get their food.

This woman then proceeds to walk BEHIND OUR COUNTER AND GRAB SOME RANDOM PERSON’S PIZZA. She throws a five-dollar bill down at the person who is taking pizzas out of the oven.

Coworker #2: *Not yelling but loudly* “That’s not your pizza.”

Customer: *Screaming* “I need my food!”

Coworker #2: “That’s a combo, not a pepperoni; that’s not your pizza!”

Customer: “Well, where is my food?!”

Coworker #1: “I told you it’s in the oven and will be out in a minute, ma’am.”

The customer then slammed down the pizza and left the store. Some people.

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We’re All Frustrated, Lady

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Alwin_ | December 5, 2020

We’re all dealing with the global health crisis. In my area, the restrictions are thirty people inside, forty outside. The last people can come in at 21:00 and we close at 22:00.

I am the host, which means standing at the entrance, counting people. We have hit max capacity and are full, so a line is forming. I have about fifteen people waiting when a lady on crutches jumps the queue… very slowly. I think she’ll ask to use the bathroom, which would be fine.

Me: “Hello, ma’am, what can I d—”

Customer #1: “I have a broken ankle so I can’t stand. I can skip the line, right?”

I hate it when people think they can decide what they can or cannot do, so I’m not willing to let her in. Besides, I am full.

Me: “Well, ma’am, I may only let seventy people in, total. We’re at seventy now, so we have to wait. That’s why these people are all waiting, too.”

Customer #1: “I JUST WANT COFFEE AND I CAN’T STAND.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot let you in. Besides, if I had a spot open up, there are fifteen people before you. However, if you ask them nicely, they might let you go first, but you’d still need to wait for someone to leave. I can get you a chair so you can sit while you wait?”

Customer #1: “I DON’T NEED A CHAIR!”

Then, she turns to the people around her and sarcastically asks if she could skip the line.

Customer #2: “You’re not asking nicely enough; you can’t go before me.”

Some people snicker. The lady then turns to me and yells.

Customer #1: “Your service sucks and this place sucks!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but these are the rules now.”

Customer #1: “F*** you!”

She starts to hop away.

Customer #2: “No, f*** you, lady! Who do you think you are? We’re all dealing with this; he’s just doing what he’s told by the government. You should really chill!”

And off she went. I gave [Customer #2] a beer on the house when he went inside.

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