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The *Click* At The End Of A Story Was Never So Sweet

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: applesaurus772 | October 9, 2021

At my call center, we handle a specific benefit where members can purchase over-the-counter items with a credit that the plan gives. Mostly, we handle Medicare and Medicaid recipients.

My day is going all right and then this screaming banshee comes through the line.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Insurance Company]. My name is [My Name]. Who do I have the pleasure of assisting today?”

Caller: “My name is Mrs. [Caller], spelled—

She lists out the spelling of her easily spelled first name but doesn’t spell out her last name.

Caller: “—and I’m calling for my mother. Did you get that?!”

I roll my eyes to check on my few remaining brain cells.

Me: “Yes, Mrs. [Caller]. Is your mother available to give me permission to speak with you?”

It’s always easier for us to get permission from the member; otherwise, we have to call over to member services and see who’s on file simply because we don’t have access to it. That’s the plan’s choice, which we have no control over.

Usually, this is when important information comes up, like if the member has a physical disability or anything like that.

Caller: “Oh, fine. Here, talk to her.”

The caller hands the phone to her mother, and I hear garbled mumbling and a very choked, barely formulated yes. I start to give my recording script when the phone is snatched back.

Caller: “Did you hear her? She said yes!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I have to actually speak with the member in order to verify their identity.”

Caller: “Ugh. I’ve never had to do this before, but fine.”

She hands the phone back to her mother. I hear a garbled yes and indecipherable words and start to go into the recording script.

Me: “For security purposes, can you please verify your name?”

I hear mumbling and another yes before the phone is snatched back again.

Caller: “She had a stroke; all she can answer is yes or no questions! God, you have to make everything difficult. I just want to place an order!”

Me: *Rolling my eyes* “Yes, I’m sorry. I did not know your mother had a stroke. Let me go ahead and confirm with member services that you can speak on the member’s behalf. Can I get the spelling of your last name?”

She begrudgingly gives me the spelling while complaining. I put her on hold and call over to member services. Guess what? No power of attorney under her name is on file. Great.

Me: “I’m very sorry, Mrs. [Caller], but we do not have anyone by your name listed that can speak for the member.”

She starts cussing and screaming.

Caller: “I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE! I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER! JUST TAKE THE D*** ORDER!”

She then goes off somewhere with the phone. In the distance, I hear the mother saying yes again.

Caller: “She’s saying yes! Can you hear her? Now take my f****** order!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since you’re not on file, I cannot take the order as the member, as you stated, cannot confirm their identity. In the meantime, you can use our website to place an order.”

Caller: “I DON’T WANT TO USE THE WEBSITE! I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER NOW!”

Me: “Due to HIPAA laws, I cannot access her account. You will have to use the website.”

Caller: “What’s HIPAA? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS BEFORE!”

More screaming and cursing follow.

Me: “Ma’am, HIPAA has been around for decades. No one in my department would have given you access if you were not listed on the account or if the member could not verify their identity. You will have to use the website until you can send in your power of attorney documentation.”

Caller: “NO! I’M GOING TO PLACE AN ORDER!”

Then, the phone changes hands.

Caller’s Husband: “Hi. What is the problem here? This is Mr. [Caller’s Husband].”

His name also is not on the power attorney form we have on file.

Me: “You’re not listed on the account and the member cannot verify their information. To protect the member’s health information, due to HIPAA, you are not allowed access to this account.”

Caller’s Husband: “This is ridiculous. Do we have to switch companies? Because we will cancel the insurance policy if you don’t place this order.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but no insurance company will allow you access to an account you’re not listed as authorized on. Due to HIPAA laws, if I granted you access, I would be jeopardizing my job, and there are criminal charges associated. No company is going to give you access. Now, again, you have to use the website. That is your only option at this time until we have a power of attorney form on file with Mrs. [Caller]’s name attached to it.”

Caller’s Husband: “I want to speak to your supervisor! This is the worst customer service I’ve ever seen! You just don’t want to do your job. Get me a supervisor.”

Me: “Unfortunately, without an account and without you authorized to speak on behalf of the member, you cannot speak with a supervisor.”

The caller takes the phone back.

Caller: “I WANT TO FILE A GRIEVANCE!”

Me: “Because you’re not listed on the account, you also cannot file a grievance. Now, as I’ve stated before, you can use the website to place an order until your power of attorney paperwork is filed. Otherwise, I cannot assist you.”

Caller: “Well, I’m NOT HANGING UP AND YOU CAN’T DISCONNECT THE CALL!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, but I’ve given you your options. And you can stay on the call if you would like; however, I will not be able to assist you with this account.”

Caller: “Well, you’re f****** useless. I don’t have time for your bulls***! I want your name and your employee ID and your supervisor.”

Me: “For security reasons, we do not give out last names or employee IDs. My first name is [My Name].”

Caller: “I want your supervisor and last name. You have to give me that information.”

Me: “No, I do not. My last name is classified for my protection.”

Caller: “You’re such a b****. F*** you.”

Me: “Have the day you deserve.”

Caller: “Likewise, c***.”

Click.

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The Store Is Closed But Their Hearts Are Open

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: yallstifuv | October 8, 2021

I was working the closing shift at a full-serve gas station and it was 9:00 pm. I was just about to lock the door and call it a night when a lady came running up and knocked frantically. I was pretty tired by this time of the night and had already signed out of my shift and turned off the debit machine and the computer, but I decided to hear her out.

She said she cleaned the floors at the local grocery store and the polishing machine was out of propane. We also fill propane tanks; we’re the only ones that do this in the area. She was obviously in need, and this was for her job, so, of course, I turned everything back on and filled it for her. She thanked me over and over again, and I kept telling her it was no problem at all!

I ended up only about ten minutes late for close and messaged my boss to tell him what had happened so he wouldn’t be confused about the two closing receipts — I had to reactivate the debit machine. He was super surprised and happy that I did that for her, and he gave me a little bonus for it.

I was surprised by his reaction at first, but I guess there are some people out there who would turn her away, but it was really no trouble for me. I was glad I could help her and super happy about the praise from my boss.

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Time To Start Tow Shopping, Too

, , , | Right | CREDIT: HogwartsAlumni25 | October 8, 2021

I work as a dispatcher for roadside assistance company. One of our rules is that we don’t tow vehicles from one repair shop to another repair shop unless the shop it’s at can’t fix it or can’t get to it any time soon. A lot of people don’t like what the shop is charging, so they want to go someplace else, but that’s price shopping and not covered.

We had a call where the member was at a dealership wanting to go to a different repair shop. The garage called the member to find out why it was going shop to shop, but they didn’t answer. Then, the garage called the dealership and the dealer told them that the member didn’t like the price they were charging. So, the garage called us and told us, and we called the member to advise them that it wasn’t covered.

It turned out the member’s wife was the one that placed the call and she was upset.

Member’s Wife: “I can’t believe you went behind my back and called the dealership! You ruined it! I was not price shopping. I don’t want them to use new parts; I want them to use used parts!”

Dealers don’t use used parts, so she claimed that just meant they COULDN’T fix it. No. They CAN fix it, you just don’t like the cost they’re charging you and want something cheaper, but because they can’t do cheaper you want to go somewhere else. That’s price shopping.

Me: “We can tow your car home for you, but we won’t be towing it again after that, and we will not take it to another repair shop.”

Member’s Wife: “That’s it! I’m cancelling our membership!”

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For The Umpteenth Time, WE CANNOT READ YOUR MIND

, , | Right | CREDIT: XoX_K_XoX | October 7, 2021

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I need to update my address.”

Me: “I can do that for you. Do you have your policy number?”

Caller: “No. Is there any other way you can find it?”

Me: “I can search by your postcode.”

Caller: “[Postcode].”

Me: “That postcode isn’t coming up.”

Caller: “It should. That’s my new one.”

Me: *Pauses* “So, it’s not the postcode in the system.”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “I need the postcode that is on your policy to find your policy.”

Caller: “Urgh. Why did you have to be so vague?! How was I meant to know that?”

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Her Brain Needs More Batteries

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: pizzanerd1 | October 7, 2021

I work as an assistant manager at a pizzeria, and my job is a little bit of everything. Yesterday, a paper towel dispenser wasn’t working; the batteries that powered it were dead. We didn’t have any spares in the restaurant, so I took my motorcycle to my local grocery store down the road.

I went in and swerved past all the people doing their dinnertime shopping. After years of stopping at the store, many of the employees know me as “the dude who works at the pizza place down the road,” and I was in full uniform, wearing jeans and a black shirt that had bits of flour on the shoulders. The logo of the pizza company was plastered on my chest as well as the middle of my red apron.

I went to the location of the batteries — a counter between check stands three and four — and began looking for D batteries. Before I could reach out and grab my choice, I heard an “ahem” from behind me.

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have any toilet paper?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t work here, but I think they’re on aisle twelve.”

Customer: *Huffing* “Well, are you going to take me there?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t work here.”

I grab my batteries.

Customer: “Don’t lie to me. You’re wearing an apron!”

Just then, a cashier who I know opens check stand four. I swerve past the customer and place my batteries on the conveyor belt

Cashier: “He, [My Name], how’s it going?”

Customer: “Excuse me. I want to complain about this rude employee of yours.” *Points a finger at me* “He won’t show me where the toilet paper is.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Then why are you wearing an apron?”

I point to the pizzeria logo on my apron.

Me: “I work at [Pizzeria] down the road. I don’t work here. I just came here for batteries.”

Cashier: “The batteries come to $11.50.”

I pay for the batteries and turn to the customer one last time.

Me: “The toilet paper is on aisle twelve. Have a nice day.”

At the end of the night, I went back to the grocery store with a box of pepperoni pizza. I saw [Cashier] closing a register, and we had a laugh as she told me this was not the first time that particular customer had mistaken another customer for an employee.

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