One day, I have a mother and child, maybe four years old, pull up to the checkout. Among other things, they have a pile of those painter poles that you hook the roller onto.

Me: “How many poles do you have?”

The mother doesn’t bother to look.

Mother: “Seven.”

The girl bounces onto the shopping trolley and exclaims:

Daughter: “No, Mum, you have nine!”

She says this as if she’s asking, “How can you not know that?”

Mother: “No, I don’t. I have seven.”

Daughter: “No, Mum, you have nine. See?”

She grabs each individual one as she counts, very proud of how well she knows her numbers.

Daughter: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine! See, Mum? Nine!”

Me: “Thank you. You’re so good at counting!” *Turning to the mother* “Looks like you have nine, Mum.”

The mother didn’t speak another word after that. She just paid and left.

That little girl made my day.

I was working the register at a hardware store. As a customer went to pay, they pulled out a checkbook and asked me for the date. The customer behind them chimed in:

Customer #2: “It’s Cinco De Mayo!”

Customer #1: *Agitated* “I know that. I’m asking for the date!”

[Customer #2] and I just kind of looked at each other for a moment, speechless. The customer paying looked at me.

Customer #1: “Well?!”

Me: “The fifth of May.”

I wondered if my phrasing would make it click. They wrote their check and left. I have no idea if it ever dawned on them. The next customer and I had a good chuckle about it.

A guest calls the front desk at 10:00 am.

Lady: “Hi, I’m going to need a late checkout. I will probably need until about 3:00 pm.”

Me: “The normal checkout time is 12:00 pm, but I can check with our housekeeping manager to see what the latest they could do for checkout is. What room were you in?”

Lady: “I’m in [room number]. And I am a [tier] member, so I’m supposed to get free late checkouts.”

Me: “Okay, well, I still will need to check with our housekeeping manager, but I can already tell you that they probably won’t be able to do it past about 1:00 pm since they are very busy today and you are in a suite. We only have two suites like the one you’re in, and the other is occupied for the next several days, and someone has booked your suite for tonight and is supposed to be able to check in starting at 3:00 pm, which they obviously won’t be able to do if you are still in it at that time.”

Lady: “That isn’t going to work. I need until at least 2:00 or 3:00 pm. I lost my driver’s license and that’s not my fault, so I need longer to look for it. I need it for check-in at the next hotel I am staying at and can’t leave until I have found my ID.”

Me: “Let me see what housekeeping can do.”

I call the housekeeping manager and they tell me that they can’t do past 12:30 pm since it’s a suite. I take the lady off hold.

Me: “I just talked to my housekeeping manager, and she said that the latest they can possibly do, since you are in a suite, is 12:30 pm.”

Lady: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I LOST MY ID AND THAT’S NOT MY FAULT! I NEED UNTIL TWO OR THREE! I NEED TO TALK TO A MANAGER!”

Me: “I’m simply repeating what the housekeeping manager just told me. If you would like, I can try and get her up here to talk to you, but I imagine she will just say the same thing that she just told me.”

Lady: “YOU’RE BEING MEAN! I HAVE A [TIER] MEMBERSHIP AND I ALREADY EXPLAINED THAT NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT, AND YOU WON’T ACCOMMODATE ME!”

Me: “The only reason we can’t do later is that you’re in a suite. If you would like, you can still have until 12:30 pm to check out of the suite, which would give you some time to search through that suite to make sure your license isn’t in there, and then I would be willing to help you move your belongings into a standard double queen or single king room and just let you essentially have that room for free tonight. We are sold out of suites for tonight, so we need those clean by 3:00 pm, but we should be fine to let you have as late as you’d like in a regular room if you need longer to search the rest of your property for your ID. You’ll just need to check that suite thoroughly, but you have two and half hours to do that still.”

Lady: “That still isn’t going to work. If that’s the only thing you can do, then I’ll probably take it, but this is ridiculous, and I will be contacting [Hotel Brand] customer service to complain about you.”

A few weeks later, we got a call from the customer service people and my manager talked to them. I had already told him about the whole situation, luckily, and he basically told the customer service person that he would be shocked if this was the first time this lady had had these kinds of complaints. He also told them that if they could, they should go back and look at other complaints she had issued because she was being absurd.

I am a manager at a coffee shop. We usually have little change in the register as most customers pay with credit cards — especially in the morning, as a safeguard to reduce the temptation of stealing it. In my country, we have the right to deny the use of larger bills if we cannot give change back or if it will be a huge liability for the business to accept it — like if we’ll have no change left for the next customer.

I had a customer come in the early hours and order a small black coffee. He then proceeded to hand me the largest bill we have. I could see he had a ton of lower bills and his card as he was picking this bill from a pile of lower bills.

Me: “Sir, would you mind paying with a smaller bill?”

Customer: “It’s my right to pay with this bill!”

Me: *In my best customer service voice* “It would be impossible for me to accept that bill as I wouldn’t have any change left in the register.”

He was adamant and stood his ground.

This is a usual technique used by some people in hopes that I will just say, “Screw it,” and give them the coffee for free. This wasn’t the first time this customer had done this, either.

Me: “I’ll have to go to the exchange automat here in the mall to change it.”

Customer: *Annoyed* “Fine.”

What he didn’t know is that, in the early hours, almost every shop in the mall is at this automat to exchange their bills to have enough change for the day. I spent twenty minutes in a line before I got his change.

This dude waited in total almost thirty minutes for a cup of joe because he decided to use his biggest bill and refused to pay otherwise.

I work in a hotel. When I got to work on Sunday, my manager told me that inventory was shut off because housekeeping needed to catch up from the weekend — we are crazy short-staffed. I was working alone, but Sundays are usually slow, so it was okay. All shift, I had people walking in or calling trying to book a room and I had to tell them all that we had no rooms available. One lady called a few times and was NOT having it.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?

Lady: “Hey, do you have availability for tonight?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we do not have any more rooms to sell tonight.”

Lady: “UNBELIEVABLE!”

She hung up. I got a second phone call forty-five minutes later and gave my intro.

Lady: “Hi. My husband is a member. Can I make a reservation for tonight?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but due to staffing issues, we had to close our inventory for the night, so I have no rooms available.”

Lady: “What do you mean? My husband is a member, and you can’t make me a reservation?”

Me: “No, I can’t.”

She hung up again. I got a third call twenty minutes later and gave my intro again.

Lady: “Hi. Are you the manager?”

Me: “I’m not, but I’m the only one here tonight, so what can I do for you?”

Lady: “Well, when I talked to you earlier, you said you had no rooms available due to no housekeepers, but I’m in front of your building right now and I only see seven cars! How are you filled up for the night? My husband is a member!”

Me: “Housekeeping worked all day today to clean enough rooms for the reservations we already had for today. So, unfortunately, I have no other clean rooms.”

Lady: “This is ridiculous! You should have extra rooms available for your members! What is your manager’s name?!”

Me: “[Manager]. She’ll be here at 8:00 am tomorrow.”

Lady: “Oh, no. I’m calling corporate.”

She hung up again. I left out a lot of her ranting, but MAN, this woman was wild. I couldn’t even make her a reservation if I wanted to; the computer literally wouldn’t let me. And why do people think being a member means anything? All it takes to be a member is to give us your email and zip code. I’m just glad she called from her car and didn’t come talk to me at the front desk.