No Baggage, Just Patience And A Plug

, , , | Right | CREDIT: andrethenewgiant | April 12, 2021

I am a copilot with one of my favorite captains, who happens to be black. We have just finished our day and are waiting at the airport curbside for our hotel pickup. A car pulls up and this older woman gets out, looks at my captain in uniform, and says:

Woman: “Well, aren’t you going to help get my luggage?”

I am shocked, but he quickly does this little shuffle dance and takes her luggage from the trunk, and the next thing I see is him trailing her, carrying her three pieces of luggage. He comes back a few minutes later with a big smile.

Captain: “I walked her luggage to the [Airline #1] check-in counter. You should have seen the look on the agent. The passenger pulled a dollar from her purse and attempted to tip me. I said, ‘No, thanks. I’m a pilot for [Airline #2]. Next time, I suggest you fly [Airline #2]; I don’t think [Airline #1] pilots are as generous.”

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“Back To School” Is Getting Stranger By The Minute

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: FinancialElephant5 | April 11, 2021

I live in a decent-sized college town, I work in a hotel while I go to the college. To be straight, my college is run by a bunch of idiots who aren’t handling the health crisis correctly. My mom actually has to send in an anonymous tip to the sheriff department because the number of crowds forming without masks on is ridiculous. I can’t go to school anymore because it gets so bad. The school is allowing large gatherings and lets fraternities and sororities throw massive parties.

Five dorms have to go under lockdown and the frats and sororities are also locked down.

This phone call I got from my college made me rethink my whole life. The call is from a woman that works for the college.

Me: “[Hotel].”

Woman: “Yes, how many rooms do you have?”

Me: “Eighty-nine.”

Woman: “I would like to book all of those for fourteen days, starting January fifth.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I cannot book all of those rooms because there are people staying in house for work. That would make me force them all out.”

Woman: “I need those rooms! We have to quarantine all returning students that have tested positive for [illness] and they cannot step back onto campus unless they have been quarantined for fourteen days.”

Me: “Wh… You’re… trying to house [illness]-positive students from out of state?”

Woman: “Yes, before the upcoming spring semester.”

Me: “If that is the case, then I am going to have to deny the booking of these rooms for safety and health reasons.”

Woman: “What do you mean, ‘deny’?!”

Me: “You are bringing a herd of college students that have tested positive for [illness], college kids who will more than likely not follow [illness] restrictions and guidelines and leave their rooms. It is a safety and health issue for the staff and all who enter.”


Me: “Okay, that is fine and their decision, but I will not book these rooms for you.”


Me: “You may call back tomorrow when they will be in, but they will tell you the exact same thing I have told you just now.”

Woman: “These kids need somewhere to stay to get healthy and you’re going to deny them? I know your business needs the money!”

Me: “Then they need to stay where they are before returning to campus and get a negative [illness] test, like the policy stated during the last semester of school.”

The woman hung up. I returned for my shift this morning to find a note from management stating, “If anybody calls and asks to book all of our rooms to house [illness]-positive people, tell them no and that you are the manager. We need to keep ourselves and our families safe!”

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A Customer By Any Other Name Would Be As Frustrating

, , , | Right | CREDIT: kuduloka | April 10, 2021

I am working in the photo department of my store. For the past few weeks, we’ve been scrambling to keep up with the myriad of photo and Christmas card orders. Today was probably the most unusual customer pickup I’ve dealt with.

Most of the time, I get their name and order type and send them on their way.

Me: “Hi. Can I have your name?”

Customer: *Immediately* “I don’t know.”

Recognizing that this is not off to a great start, I am a bit flabbergasted at his following response.

Customer: “It could be under any of five aliases.”

Not names, aliases. To further my confusion, he gave me just given names for some, surnames for others. It finally took us taking down his order number, entering that into the computer, and finding what the prints looked liked to match them with a printed order. And it wasn’t under any of the names he’d given us.

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Patience All Around!

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Waifer2016 | April 9, 2021

I discover, much to my dismay, that I have lost my credit card. Where it wandered off to, I have no idea. The HOW it went missing is quickly solved with the discovery of a rather large hole in the card slot of my cell phone case. After a few minutes of panicked account checks to make sure all is okay, I relax and call my bank.

After ten minutes of battling the Interactive Voice Response system within their call center, I get through to an employee. He gives an opening spiel and introduces himself.

Me: “Hi, [Employee]! I lost my credit card.”

Employee: “Ohhh, crap, dude. That sucks!”

Me: “Yeah, it does. The sad thing is that this is the fourth one I’ve lost; it’s very sad.”

Employee: *Laughing* “I can relate. Okay, I need your bank account number.”

Me: “The number is [account number], my address is [address], and the bank is located on [Road].”

Employee: “Holy crap, you’re doing my job for me!”

Me: “Sadly not my first rodeo, [Employee].”

Employee: “I’m pulling up your account; one minute.”

Me: “No worries, the last two transactions are at [Store] and are legit.”

Employee: *Howling with laughter* “Oh, you’re awesome! You have all the questions down!”

Me: “No sense me being cranky about it.”

Employee: “Um, now comes the sucky part where I remind you to update all your auto payments, shopping accounts, and memberships.”

Me: “Arrrgh, you’re killing me, [Employee]! I forgot about that!”

He chuckles sympathetically.

Employee: “Okay, I canceled your card and reported it stolen for you. Anything else I can do?”

Me: “Yeah, have some chocolate for me, [Employee]; you deserve it.”

Employee: “You’ve made my day!”

And he laughed some more. I was dumb and lost my card again, but I made the poor bank dude smile. Win, right?

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Should’ve Had Better Brain Filters

, , , , , | Learning | CREDIT: Zeldaspellfactory | April 8, 2021

Many years ago, my oldest child was in junior high. He took a computer class his first year in junior high. His teacher was interesting. On Parent-Teacher Night, she announced to all the students and parents that if a child in her class could hack the school’s Internet filters, they would get an automatic A for the entire year in the class. She even had this printed up on handouts she gave us parents.

My oldest child can be a challenge. I never wanted to be one of his schoolteachers. He just thinks of the most random things to do and then does them without thinking of consequences. (Thankfully, he has mostly grown out of this!) I could tell that my son was going to take her up on this “offer”/challenge. He was good enough with computers that I was pretty sure he could do it.

I warned the teacher that the school district did NOT want students hacking the Internet filters, especially not my son. Who knows what he would find that I didn’t want to know about?

Less than two weeks later, I was called up to the school on very little notice. My son was going to be expelled. That was all the info I had before I got to the school. I had a feeling it was about the computer class, so I brought in the handout the teacher gave out on Parent-Teacher Night.

I was right. He had hacked the Internet filters successfully, and because of this, the school was going to expel him. Permanently.

I had quite the chat with the principal. He was completely shocked that the teacher had challenged the students this way but claimed it didn’t matter because the school had rules that my son should have known. He was flabbergasted when I called the Superintendent of Schools for our city. He was more shocked when I chatted with him on a first-name basis. It might have been an entitled thing to do but messing with my kids brings out my inner Mama Bear.

My son did not get expelled; he didn’t get punished in any way, mostly because the teacher was an absolute idiot. I later learned that this was not the first time she had issued this challenge, nor the first time a student was able to do it. She had been warned not to do it again, ever, and she had ignored that.

They had a new teacher in under a week, because you are just not smart enough to teach school if you openly challenge kids to hack the school’s filters.

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